use it sparingly, unless you wish to bewitch Lord Richard-’
‘Quite so!’ Deb said, snatching the letter. She had forgotten the last bit and felt herself colouring up. ‘So if you wish to borrow it-’
‘Not so fast,’ Olivia said, laughing at her sister. ‘Are you sure that you do not wish to use it yourself?’
‘For what purpose?’
‘To attract Lord Richard Kestrel,’ Olivia said. She eyed Deb with amusement. ‘On reflection, however, I do not believe that you require any artificial assistance in that task, not when you appeared out of the conservatory at the ball looking as though you had been thoroughly kissed!’
Deb smiled reluctantly. ‘Actually, that was the one occasion on which Lord Richard did not kiss me!’
Olivia opened her eyes very wide. ‘The one occasion he did not? You mean on every other occasion-’
‘Almost,’ Deb said.
‘When he escorted you back from Marney a few days ago?’
‘Yes.’
‘And before that-at the musicale?’
‘Yes.’
‘And in the wood-’
‘Yes, but you knew about that already. I mentioned it to you myself that afternoon we took tea.’
Olivia looked riveted. ‘And?’
Deb shrugged a little awkwardly. ‘I do not know, Liv.’ She frowned and smiled simultaneously. ‘It is quite absurd, but I find that I like him…I cannot seem to help myself.’
‘It was bound to happen sooner or later,’ Olivia said gently, ‘and Lord Richard is very likeable.’
‘Yes, but…’ Deb gave her sister a guilty, sideways look. ‘I have been thinking of him a great deal, Liv. I do not understand myself. On the one hand I feel I simply have to avoid him, and on the other I would like…Well, you know what I would like! It is the most appalling and wanton thing. I cannot trust a man, I have no desire for marriage and yet I long for the fulfilment of a physical relationship. I am quite shocked at myself.’
There was an unhappy silence.
‘It is most understandable,’ Olivia said, after a moment. She patted her sister’s hand. ‘Do not be so hard on yourself, Deb. You have been cheated of every natural emotion and every good experience that you might have expected to find in marriage. Yet you are young and full of life, and you feel things passionately. You are starving yourself of love…’
‘I know,’ Deb said shakily. She got up and walked over to the window. The tears blurred her eyes and thickened her throat.
‘There was no tenderness in your relationship with Neil,’ Olivia said, after a moment, ‘and since then you have been the very pattern-card of respectable widowhood. It is only natural that you feel the way that you do. Do not reproach yourself for it.’
‘Almost you convince me,’ Deb said unhappily. ‘But why have I fixed upon Lord Richard? I have a lowering feeling that it is simply because he is there.’
Olivia looked at her for a long moment and then she shook her head. ‘No, Deb. You do not believe that. Do not demean your feelings like this. If you were only looking for an affaire, then you might have chosen any of the personable gentlemen who have been in Midwinter this year past. Sir John Norton, for example-’
Deb shuddered. ‘Never!’
‘Exactly. Whereas you have known Richard Kestrel for several years and, despite your protestations, are most attracted to him. There is an affinity between you whether you like it or not.’
Deb shook her head. ‘It is an affinity that can come to nothing. I cannot compound my previous folly by entering into a relationship like this with my eyes open. What, am I to indulge in not one but two relationships outside the bond of marriage? I should be nothing but a wanton!’
‘It is not like that,’ Olivia said, ‘and you know it. Neil-’
‘Oh, very well, I acknowledge that I was tricked by Neil!’ Deb raised her hands in a vehement gesture. ‘The fact remains, Olivia, that I have never been truly married and yet I have given myself to one man and I will not compromise my own honour by giving myself to another. I cannot!’
Deb realised that she was shaking, and when Olivia came across to her and put her arms about her she allowed her sister to hold her like she had done when they were children comforting each other.
‘I am sorry,’ Olivia said, after a moment. ‘It was wrong of me to offer advice. You must do what you believe is right.’ She laughed a little bitterly. ‘Hark at me! And I am the one reaching for the Ladies Magazine when my husband makes love to me! It is always easier to give guidance than to take it.’
Deb laughed too. She went over to the desk and pushed the pot of hand cream towards Olivia. ‘At least one of us may yet get this right. So take this with my blessing, Liv. I wish you luck.’
‘What about the ointment for Ross’s pigs?’ Olivia asked, tucking the pot of face cream in her reticule.
‘Oh, yes!’ Deb jumped up and hurried over to the window seat, where she had left the rest of Rachel’s parcel half-unpacked. ‘Here you are!’
Olivia took the second pot and pressed a kiss on her sister’s cheek. ‘Thank you,’ she said softly. She paused in the doorway. ‘If you do decide to act on your feelings, Deb, then I wish you every happiness.’
After Olivia had gone, Deb went across to the grate and removed one of the scrunched up pieces of paper. Sitting at her desk, she rested her chin on her hand and bit the end of the quill pen. Forget Richard Kestrel, she instructed herself sharply. Her task was to find a discreet and reliable gentleman to be her fiance, not a disreputable knave to be her lover, no matter how her body ached for him. She tried to concentrate.
Dear Lord Scandal…
She put the pen down again. Damnation, Deb thought, as well ask a rake to be her fiance as a man with such an alias.
Dear Lord Scandal, are you a trustworthy and honourable gentleman? I suspect not, with a name like yours. However, my need for assistance is acute. I should therefore deem it a kindness on your part if you were prepared for us to meet…
A day later, Lord Richard Kestrel pocketed the letter that was waiting for him under the alias of Lord Scandal at the Bell and Steelyard Inn, and passed two guineas to the innkeeper, one for the safe delivery and the other for the suppression of all the other missives addressed to Lady Incognita. He went out and climbed straight back into his carriage, waiting until the vehicle was on the move before he broke the seal. Resting one elbow against the window, he perused the contents. An appreciative smile touched his mouth. Lady Incognita certainly had a way with words. And she wanted to meet him. Sensibly, she had chosen a public place for their tryst, but one that gave them the opportunity to be alone if they wished to talk in private. He wondered whether she would bring a chaperon to meet him. He tried to imagine the look on the chaperon’s face, and on Deb’s face, when they saw him.
The assignation was arranged for the following day. He would certainly be there. In fact, he could barely master his impatience.
Chapter Ten
D eb had arranged to meet Lord Scandal at the Customs House in Woodbridge that Wednesday afternoon. She had read in the paper that there would be an auction of smuggled goods held that day and it had struck her that the sale would provide the perfect circumstance for an assignation. There would be a great many people about, thereby providing security, yet once the initial contact was made it would be possible for her to step aside with Lord Scandal if she wished.
She had also taken the additional precaution of asking Ross to escort her to the sale so that she should not be alone when the contact was made. There was, however, one small difficulty. She had not told Ross the true purpose of their errand to Woodbridge for she had known that he would cut up rough about it. Now, however, they were approaching the rendezvous and she realised that the moment of truth had come.
‘Ross,’ she said, as her brother-in-law held open the Customs House door for her, ‘there is something that I should tell you.’ She hesitated, for Ross did not look very receptive. A black frown had settled on his forehead and
