‘I understood what you told me,’ Olivia said drily, ‘but, if I am to believe the evidence of my own eyes, I find it difficult to credit that this is only a business arrangement.’
She put one hand over Deb’s clasped ones. ‘Deb, are you sure that your feelings are not involved?’
Deb blushed. She looked across at Richard again. As though aware of her regard, he glanced up and smiled at her, his wicked, heart-stirring smile. Deb’s blush deepened.
There was nothing remotely businesslike about the feelings that Richard had awakened in her that morning, nor was the arrangement that they had made a practical one. She felt wicked and wanton and lighter than air.
‘Deb,’ Olivia said, ‘your thoughts are wandering.’ She looked thoughtful. ‘Perhaps that is the answer to my question.’
Deb blinked and dragged her scattered thoughts into some kind of order. ‘I beg your pardon, Liv. My feelings-’ She stopped and looked at her sister. ‘I am not sure.’
‘Ross and I were saying,’ Olivia said, with studied casualness, ‘that Richard seems to like you a great deal. Enough to wish to make the betrothal a reality.’
Nervousness clutched at Deb. Marriage was a different matter entirely. The thought of it terrified her. It had taken all her courage to ask Richard to be her lover and even now she could not quite believe the risk she was prepared to take.
‘I do not wish to marry again,’ she said quickly. ‘You know that, Liv! Besides, I do not believe Lord Richard seeks marriage.’
Olivia was soothing. ‘I understand how you feel, but you may find your feelings are quite the opposite when you have had the chance to grow to know Richard better.’ She smiled. ‘He has been a rake, but perhaps now he wishes to lead a more settled life? If you could trust him sufficiently-’
‘I do trust him,’ Deb said. ‘That is, I trust him not to deliberately hurt me the way that Neil did. What I do not trust is myself! I believe my aversion to marriage goes too deep to be overcome, no matter Lord Richard’s feelings.’
‘Perhaps I am reading too much into this,’ Olivia said placidly. ‘It is, as you say, foremost a matter of business.’
Deb looked suspiciously at her sister. She knew Olivia well and was not taken in by her insouciant air. In addition, there was Ross’s peculiar behaviour. Her brother-in-law had been surprisingly complaisant when Deb had broken the news of the betrothal to him earlier in the day. Deb had been expecting both Ross and Olivia to express their disapproval in the strongest possible terms and had been amazed at their reaction. Olivia had said mildly that although a pretence of a betrothal was not the sort of thing she could encourage, she understood her sister’s reasons for wishing to avoid their father’s plans. Ross had said that he never could follow Deb’s logic, but he wished her luck. Deb had been so astounded that she had challenged him.
‘I am betrothed to Richard Kestrel,’ she had pointed out. ‘Richard Kestrel! Surely you must disapprove, Ross?’
‘Would you like me to?’ her brother-in-law had asked mildly. ‘I could object if you wish, but Richard is the greatest of good fellows, and my only opposition, Deb, springs from the fact that this is not a genuine engagement.’
With that he had kissed her cheek, exchanged a meaningful look with his wife, and strolled out of the room.
And now Olivia was contemplating the same betrothal with something approaching complacence. It made Deb wonder what it was that they knew that she did not.
She glanced back at Richard. The only thing she could think of that could account for Ross’s good humour was if he knew Richard’s intentions were honourable and that was manifestly absurd. Richard had told her that he had told Ross the truth about their betrothal agreement, so there could be no misunderstanding. For a moment Deb thought about what might happen were Richard to make her a declaration. The cold fear of marriage that had held her in its grip for years had not diminished, yet alongside it was a small but tantalising glimmer of hope. Deborah crushed it. She had thought very carefully about her proposal to Richard. She ached to experience the passion that she had starved for all these years. Yet even in that she had limited the risk she was taking by specifying that it would only be for the duration of the fictitious betrothal. She had no wish to tumble headlong in love with Richard and be at the mercy of her feelings again. She had to be able to let him go.
‘How has the Duke greeted the news of his brother’s betrothal?’ Olivia enquired, glancing across to where Justin Kestrel partnered Helena Lang in the country dance.
Deb fidgeted with her fan. ‘He has been everything that is charming to me, though Richard says that he teases him mercilessly in private.’ Deb shifted slightly and the rout chair squeaked protestingly. ‘Truth to tell, Liv, I cannot like it that Richard’s family now know of the betrothal. It was only intended as a private arrangement and now I feel a little trapped…’
Once again Olivia looked so blandly unconcerned that Deb started to feel quite irritated.
‘If you have agreed with Richard that you may break the engagement when it has served its purpose, then I do not see that you need be concerned,’ she said.
Deb frowned. ‘I know that. It is merely…’ She waved her fan vaguely. ‘It makes it more difficult for me to end it…’
‘Because you do not wish to appear heartless?’
Deb frowned harder. ‘It is not only that. People have been so kind. Most people,’ she amended, thinking of Lady Benedict. ‘The Dowager Duchess of Kestrel will hear of it soon and then no doubt she will write to me. The Duke tells me that she has been wanting her sons to marry this age, and will be aux anges to hear the news.’
‘Perhaps you should consider telling them that it is only a convenient arrangement,’ Olivia suggested. ‘That way there would be no misunderstanding when you jilt Lord Richard.’
Deb winced. She had deliberately avoided using that word in both her thoughts and her conversation, for it made her feel rather tawdry. Yet she had to accept it. That was exactly what she was planning for Richard once he had served his purpose-and not merely his purpose as her short-term fiance, either. She deliberately turned her thoughts away from her plan and the strangely mixed feelings that it was starting to arouse in her and thought about the other arrangement she had made with Richard, which involved neither plights of troth nor benefit of clergy.
What would happen during their nights of passion? Deb shivered as a wave of heat started at her toes and swept over her entire body as she considered what it might entail. Seduction by a rake…The thought was both delicious and terrifying. She almost shivered. Once she had tasted the pleasure that she knew Richard could give her would she really be able to turn her back on it? Her body craved the sensual delight that she had never experienced before. Starved of physical love, she longed for Richard’s touch. Her mind whispered that she craved more than that and she firmly ignored the thought. This was all that she dared afford.
She looked up to see Olivia watching her, a wry smile on her lips.
‘Whatever it is that you are drinking,’ Olivia said drily, nodding at her glass of lemonade, ‘I would like some. You look like a girl in love, Deb, for all your protestations of pretend betrothals! You are burning up with excitement.’
Deb smiled. ‘No, you are quite mistaken. I was merely wondering, rather improperly, whether Lord Richard is indeed the rake everyone claims.’
‘No,’ Olivia said decisively, ‘I think not.’ She turned her amused blue gaze on her sister. ‘You look disappointed, Deb! But only consider-how could he be? In the time that he has been in Midwinter I do not think that he has seduced a single lady! His reputation is all hearsay and no substance.’
Deb laughed. ‘He tried to seduce me last year,’ she pointed out.
‘You are the only one and now you are betrothed to him.’ Olivia raised her brows. ‘So perhaps it is for you to find out.’
‘Liv!’ Deb exclaimed at this frank echo of her own thoughts. She changed the subject quickly. ‘Have you tried the face cream that I gave you yet?’
‘Yes,’ Olivia said, blushing. ‘I did not think it smelled much of roses but it was delightfully smooth and I was careful to use only a small amount.’
‘Good,’ Deb said. ‘You mentioned earlier that you and Ross had been talking?’
‘Oh, yes, we have.’ For a moment Olivia looked young and charmingly ruffled. ‘We had quite a long conversation about your betrothal, and another about our plans for this autumn, and on both occasions we managed not to
