“Hey,” he said, in a voice that was warm and rich and deep…the voice of seduction. “You want to come in?”
She tucked her fingertips into the hip pockets of her jeans and tried not to look at him. Did anyway, and couldn’t help but notice he’d changed into a clean T-shirt and that under it his pecs and biceps and shoulder muscles stood out in smooth, rounded mounds. And that his hair was mussed and his jaws were shadowed with a weekend’s growth of beard, and that his eyes burned bright as embers in his dark tanned face, giving him the fiercely jubilant look of a victorious warrior fresh from the battlefield.
She said, “Why don’t we walk, instead?”
“Sure-okay.” He rolled one-handed across the threshold, tucking his room key in a hip pocket with the other. “Where do you want to go?”
“I don’t know. Like…maybe the park?”
“Fine with me.”
So, they walked without talking, across the street to the riverfront park and onto one of the paved pathways that followed the riverbank. They paused to watch children playing with inner tubes in the quiet water near the bank, and kayakers training farther out in the shallow rapids. The sky was clear; there was no smell of smoke-the fire was north of town and heading away from it. Alex tried not to think about it, probably into the high-country timber by now, destroying God only knew how many acres of forest. Tried not to think about the fact that it had been deliberately set. Except for cold-blooded murder, she couldn’t think of a more despicable act than arson.
Softly, and without taking his eyes off of the kayakers, Matt said, “That was one helluva run.”
Alex gave a little whimper of a laugh. “Yeah, it was.”
“Thanks,” he said, and she looked at him in surprise.
“What for?”
He glanced at her and gave his wheels a turn, moving on. “You didn’t want to do this.”
“No,” she said, with another short laugh. “I sure didn’t.”
He paused to give her a long look. “You want to tell me why?”
“Are you kidding? You know why. I thought it was nuts. I still do. And I was right, wasn’t I? Two people injured, and your brother and Sam, they both could have been killed.”
“But they weren’t.”
After a moment, Matt said in a gravelly voice, “We were good together up there, Alex. Admit it. We were.”
But of course, even though the same thought had been in her mind, she wasn’t about to admit it, and since she couldn’t deny it, either, she turned her face away so he couldn’t see the tears in her eyes.
“Alex-”
She threw up a hand to stop him. “Don’t. Don’t. Just…don’t.” So they walked on in silence.
Some children ran by, heading for the sandy beach farther down, yelling to each other, flip-flops flapping, beach towels draped across their shoulders flying back in the breeze. Alex watched them through a blur, then blinked her vision clear and halted. She turned to him, furious but controlled. “What do you want from me, Mattie?”
He said nothing for a moment, then slowly turned his face to her. “Nothing more than I’ve ever wanted, Alex.” His voice was low and even, almost without expression.
Frustrated, she threw up her hands and let them drop. “Which is something I can’t give you-I thought you understood that.”
Anguished, she could only look at him while her mind wailed the rest.
He might have seen what was in her eyes, the pain she couldn’t tell him about, if he’d been looking at her. But he’d pivoted slightly and was gazing at the river now, and she wanted to scream at him, pound his shoulders with her fists. Cry. All those emotional woman things Alex Penny would never do. Couldn’t do.
She stood there, clenching and unclenching her fists, breathing through her nose and fighting for control for what seemed like forever, and just when she thought she would have to walk away and leave him there, he began to speak. Slowly, at first, in a low and rough voice that sounded nothing like his earlier seductive murmur.
“You told me once…about when you were a little kid. You’d climbed up in a tree that was growing beside the trailer you and your mother were living in then.” He looked up at her and she nodded, surprised because she didn’t remember telling him about her dream.
But then he went on, and she realized it wasn’t her dream, but a memory she’d half forgotten.
“Anyway, you were up in the tree, hollering for help because you couldn’t get down. And your mother came out, and told you you’d gotten yourself up there, you could get yourself down. So, you told me…you managed to climb down as far as the roof of the trailer, but then there was no way down except to jump.” He stopped there and looked at her.
She wrapped her arms across her waist and lifted her chin as she gazed defiantly back at him. “Yeah, so I jumped. Sprained my ankle, but I made it down. All by myself, too.”
“You told me,” he said, still speaking slowly…painfully. “You said your mother wrapped your ankle in Ace bandages, and you wore that bandage like a badge of honor. Like battle ribbons.”
Now it was her throat that felt wrapped in bandages; she couldn’t say anything, couldn’t do anything but stare at him. And he gazed back at her, his eyes dark amber, and sadder than she’d ever seen them.
“The proudest moment of your childhood. Proving you could take care of yourself. You didn’t need anybody.”
How could she deny it? She swallowed…looked up at the sky. Swallowed again; it seemed like the only part of herself that was capable of movement.
“I can’t compete with that, Alex. I knew that five years ago. I thought maybe I could fight it, but I can’t. It’s who you are. Who you were taught to be, maybe, but still…it
She shook her head, then clamped a hand over her mouth. Tears sprang to her eyes. But he saw none of that. Because he had already turned and was slapping at the wheels of his chair with his gloved hands, wheeling himself slowly along the path, back toward the street, back to his motel. Back to his life.
He didn’t hurry. She could have stopped him…called out to him. Run after him. But she didn’t. Of course she didn’t. What would she say? She couldn’t deny the things he’d said, because they were true. Even if right now she felt like wild animals were gnawing on her insides, and at this moment somewhere inside her there was a little girl, the one Booker T called baby doll, sobbing and crying and longing to be held and comforted, she knew it wouldn’t last, not in the long run. She was Alex Penny, daughter of Carla, who’d taught her to be independent and self-reliant and to never depend on anyone but herself. And right now she was hurt and sad and bereft, but she was angry, too.
Alex stood there by the river, alone, hugging herself and watching him roll away, with her hand clamped over her mouth to keep from calling out his name.
Booker T had dropped Sam and Cory off at the door to their motel room, and they were in the process of saying their thank-yous and goodbyes when Sam happened to look across the hood of the pickup and see Matt coming along the river path alone. And Alex standing by herself farther back, watching him go.
“Oh hell,” she said under her breath, “that can’t be good.”
“What?” her husband said, and she tilted her head to draw his attention to the silent drama evidently unfolding across the street. “Oh…damn.”
Linda looked out the passenger-side window and Booker T ducked his head and peered across her to see what they were all looking at, then turned back to them with a half smile showing under his swooping mustache. “So, looks like you had some plans for those two.”
“We did,” Sam said with a sigh. “Hopes, anyway.”
“Yeah,” Booker T said after a glance at his wife, “we did, too. Tell you what, though-I’m not ready to give up on ’em just yet.” He winked as he put his pickup truck in gear and drove out of the parking lot.
