Still Waters

tall, very regal woman with white hair and toffee-colored skin appeared at the top of the stairs, drying her hands on a towel.

'Dahlia, this is Maddy.' Maddy was very aware of Zack's hands resting on her shoulders in a gesture that seemed almost… possessive.

The housekeeper's dark gaze met Zack's eyes first, then took in the position of his hands, and finally swept over Maddy with a look of frank assessment. 'Hello, Maddy.' Her voice had a low, musical quality, like an oboe.

'I'm teaching Maddy to swim,' Zack said, explaining, it seemed to Maddy, unnecessarily.

Dahlia said 'Hmm,' and looked dubious. Her expression plainly said, 'A likely story…'

Maddy turned her head to look at Zack and found the expression on his face so patently guilty that it began to strike her as funny. It was strangely comforting to see Zachary London-Aquaman!-looking like a little boy caught with frogs in his pocket and mischief on his mind. Her self-confidence seemed to be growing in direct proportion to his discomfort. It made a warm, cozy pool inside her, very much like that hot cocoa she remembered so well. And at the same time, it gave her an overwhelming desire to giggle.

Zack cleared his throat. 'Dahl, could you please make us some… hot cocoa?'

'Hot cocoa?' The housekeeper's eyebrows shot up.

'Hot cocoa,' Zack confirmed solemnly.

'Hot cocoa,' Dahlia said, and went away muttering to herself.

When she was out of earshot, Maddy released her pent-up laughter and murmured, 'Wow.'

Zack look puzzled. 'What's funny?' She shook her head and covered her smile with her hand. Her feelings were too tender and new to bring into full light.

'Dahlia raised eight children,' he said, still watching her warily. 'Every single one of them went to college.'

'Hmm,' Maddy said, and sat, gingerly because of her wet bathing suit, on one of the two couches that flanked the fireplace. She didn't feel tender anymore, and she didn't feel like laughing, either. It had occurred to her that Zack's housekeeper was better equipped and qualified to care for a child than she was. To ward off creeping depression, she looked around her and said brightly, 'This is a nice room. It's… warm. Lived in.'

'Whereas the rest of the house isn't,' Zack said dryly, sweeping newspapers onto the floor as he sat opposite her. 'There's a good reason for that, actually.' He leaned back and propped his feet on the oak parquet coffee table. 'This is where I live.' His gaze rested briefly on Maddy's hands, which she was using to hold the towel firmly together over her breasts. 'Except for my bedroom, it's the only room in the house I really use.' His smile was crooked. 'As you pointed out, it's a big place for one person, and it makes things easier on Dahlia. Maddy…' He took his feet off the coffee table and sat forward, looking earnest. 'There's something…'

Maddy felt cold settle over her. She didn't know why she dreaded what was coming, but she did. Somehow, just knowing what he was going to say filled her with a deep sense of loss.

He got up and walked to the fireplace. With his back to her he took a deep breath. Maddy set her jaw and waited. Finally, he turned to face her.

'Maddy, what would you think… about my adopting Theresa?'

Six

Adopt Theresa.

Even with advance warning, hearing Zack say the words out loud made Maddy feel queasy. Hurt. Resentful. Jealous.

And she couldn't figure out why, or why she should have this sense of loss. It had been foolish to think that she might have had any chance to adopt Theresa. It was a dumb idea anyway. Larry had been absolutely right about that. And the funny thing was, Maddy didn't even know where it had sprung from. She was only twenty-five, for Pete's sake! She wasn't even thinking of getting married, wasn't dating anyone in particular. She liked living alone. Well… almost alone. Why this sudden yearning for motherhood?

Zack was talking to her, though it seemed more as if he were talking to himself. 'Maybe it's crazy. I know it's crazy.' He raked his fingers through his hair and shook his head, looking perplexed. 'I mean, I've only seen her a couple of times. And it's not like I've been thinking about it. In fact, it's probably been about the furthest thing from my mind. But… I don't know, there was just something about that little girl, right from the first time I saw her, that day at the pool, remember?'

Maddy nodded dumbly. As if she would ever forget it!

Zack gave a short, ironic laugh. 'When you told me to keep an eye on her, and why, I felt… strange. Kind of sick to my stomach, you know what I mean? And then, when I saw her…' His fingers tore through his hair, leaving wreckage behind. His eyes were dark and passionate, his jaw bunched with tension. With his broken nose he looked like a street brawler, spoiling for a fight. Maddy was fascinated. He resembled that ail-American sunshine boy of billboards and cereal boxes about as much as she resembled Cher.

'I wanted to kill someone,' he said through clenched teeth. 'Really kill someone-with my bare hands.' He looked at Maddy. 'Can you understand that? And it was like… I just knew. You know?' His eyes were focusing on her with such naked appeal that she had to look away to save her own emotions. Without the protection of her puppets, she felt… bruised.

You know? she repeated silently. Oh, boy, did she know! As she stared through a shimmering blur at the mess on the coffee table, she was thinking that, when it came to falling in love, whether it was with a member of the opposite sex, a lonely little girl, or a puppy in a pet shop window, you really didn't have much to say about it. Your heart did as it pleased. The rest of you just went along for the ride. And sometimes it was a very bumpy ride.

'Maddy?' Zack was sitting down on the couch opposite her, looking puzzled. She realized she hadn't yet answered his question, or, in fact, said a word. She cleared her throat and offered a tentative 'Umm.'

'Look, I know you probably think it's crazy. A bachelor adopting a little girl. And I understand that-you don't really know me very well.' He jumped up, too full of tension and energy to sit still. 'But it's different now. Single people can adopt kids. Happens all the time, right?'

'Well

'Anyway, I thought you might know-' He came back to the couch and perched on the edge of it. 'Maddy, you work with those agencies all the time. Tell me honestly, do you think I can do it? Is there any chance at all that they will let me adopt her?'

'Well, I-'

Maddy was given a reprieve by Dahlia, who arrived at that moment bearing two mugs of steaming cocoa on a tray. As she set the mugs on the coffee table she divided a look of stern disapproval equally between Maddy and Zack and went back up the stairs grumbling about people who sat around in wet clothes, catching their deaths.

Maddy picked up a mug and curled her hands around it, inhaling the heavenly scent of chocolate. She was feeling a little ashamed now, and a lot confused. Somehow, during the course of the evening, this man sitting across the coffee table from her had stopped being Aquaman, once and for all. He'd even stopped being Zack London, Olympic champion and household name. He'd become just a man-a very strong, very attractive, very vulnerable man. And she was finding out that that made him an even more devastating threat to her emotional stability. She was less in awe of him, but somehow even more afraid. She wanted less and less to keep him at a safe distance, an arm's-or puppet's-length away. She wanted instead to reach out and touch him. To touch his face, to brush back that stubborn curl of sun-burnished hair from his forehead. That confused her, because she'd never felt like that about anyone before.

And she felt ashamed because she knew how selfish she was being. Theresa had lost her parents; Zack had lost his child. Theresa needed love; Zack had plenty of it to give. It should have seemed like the happiest ending to a sad story since Cinderella. It was childish of her to feel left out.