Still Waters

'She still could.' Maddy shivered suddenly and violently, and pulled her towel around her.

'Sounds as though you know gospel music.'

'I was raised on it,' she said, shivering again.

'Let's go inside,' Zack said abruptly. 'There's a fire… you're getting cold.' He dropped his arm across her shoulders.

Maddy didn't shrug his arm away-not quite. She just held her body rigid, refusing to allow herself to be drawn against him, no matter how much she wanted to. She remembered that warm melting together of their bodies, and missed it so much, she felt almost as if part of her were missing. She longed to get that feeling of oneness back again, but she knew it was impossible now. The moment had been destroyed by Dahlia's singing, as abruptly and totally as a bucket of ice water destroys sleep.

'Is Zack your boyfriend?' Theresa's question was off-hand, and accompanied by a monotonous snap-pop, snap-pop, as she fastened and unfastened the flap of her new purse.

Maddy threw her a startled glance. She was driving Theresa back to her foster home through a late June twilight, and it was too dark in the car to see the girl's face. 'No! Of course not. Where did you get that idea?'

'He was kissing you.'

'Theresa!' Maddy laughed with embarrassment.

'Well, he was. I saw you.'

'Oh.'

'You know what? Vicki Frownfelter-she's my foster sister-she gots a boyfriend. She told me.'

'Really? How old is Vicki?'

'Sixteen. She's ten years older than me,' Theresa added proudly. 'When I'm sixteen, will I have a boyfriend?'

'I'm sure you will, sweetheart.' Maddy cleared her throat and said firmly, 'But Zack is just a friend of mine. That's all.'

Theresa shook her head and declared, 'Uh-uh. That sure looked like a boyfriend kiss to me.'

'Oh, yeah?' Maddy was laughing in spite of herself. 'What makes you such an expert, young lady?'

'Not very much,' Theresa admitted sorrowfully. 'Whenever somebody kisses on television, Aunt Carly always turns the TV off.'

'Well, Zack is not my boyfriend. I told you before. He's just… a friend.'

Theresa heaved a huge sigh and leaned her head back against the car seat. 'I wish Zack could be my boyfriend. But I'm too little!'

'You like him?' Maddy kept her voice casual.

'Oh, yes. Zack is really neat. I like Dahlia, too. She sings. The only thing is, she calls me 'baby.' But that's okay. I don't think she means it. Do you like Zack?'

'Theresa, I told you I do.'

'No, you didn't. You just said he's your friend.'

'You're going to make a great lawyer someday,' Maddy muttered under her breath, beginning to see what Larry meant about being with a child outside the clinic and schools. 'Yes, of course I like Zack!'

'Is that why you kissed him?'

'Theresa!'

'Well,' she said obstinately, 'you were kissing.' The fastening on her purse began to pop-snap, pop-snap…

Maddy glanced down at the stubbornly tilted head beside her and thought that Zack and Theresa were already a lot alike!

'Maddy-what the hell is this? Some kind of joke? Dahl said you called up and canceled your lesson! Dammit, you call me and explain.'

Maddy winced at the frustrated fury that hissed from the message machine like blue flame from a welder's torch. Zack was upset, and she didn't really blame him. She wasn't sure herself what had made her cancel the lesson. She just knew she didn't feel ready for what might happen if she went back to Zack's place alone. Sensory memories had haunted her sleep, haunted her still… The feel of Zack's hands on her waist, the cool firmness of his wet body beneath her hands, the taste and texture of his mouth, the roughness of his face rasping against her fingertips…

The butterfly feeling in her stomach seemed to have become a permanent condition.

She'd barely rewound the tape when the telephone rang shrilly. She started violently, then sat hunched and tense, waiting for the machine to pick up the call. She was almost certain she knew who it would be.

'Maddy-I know you're there.' The angry voice confirmed her suspicion. 'Larry said you'd gone home. I know you can hear me.' There was a sigh. She could almost see him dragging a hand through his hair, fighting for control. A great, aching surge of emotion filled her, and she had to struggle against a compulsion to give in and pick up the receiver. Why was she resisting him… and her own desires?

'Come on, Maddy, why are you doing this? If you don't face up to this thing now, you never will. Dammit, don't hide from me!' And finally, a grimly muttered, 'Okay, babe. This isn't the end of it!' A click, a beep, then silence.

Maddy sat for a moment longer, then picked up Bosley and slipped the dragon over her arm. She stared at the pink triangular face, and the dragon gazed back in silent reproach. For once, Maddy could think of nothing for either of them to say.

The phone rang again. She dumped Bosley hastily and rudely into her lap and reached for it, then snatched her hand back. It could be Zack again, hoping to catch her napping. He was persistent enough to try something like that. She waited tensely while the machine ran through her message. The beep sounded; then she heard a plaintive voice.

'Oh… Maddy, it's Saturday. Aren't you ever home?'

Chuckling with sheer relief, Maddy picked up the receiver and switched off the machine. 'Hello, Jody, it's me.'

'Oh! I'm so glad! I was beginning to think nobody alive ever answers a phone anymore. If you can't come, Amanda, I'll never forgive you. It's not my fault it's so spur-of-the-moment. I did try to reach you earlier.' Jody paused to take a breath, and Maddy plunged into the breach.

'Don't you think you should tell me what I'll be missing if I can't come? And when I'd be missing it?'

'Oh. I guess that probably would be a good idea. Michael's finished his project! And we're all celebrating. Tonight.'

'Project?'

'Yeah, that deck and fire pit he and Cliff have been working on forever. They've actually finished it, can you believe that? We were going to have a big thing Fourth of July, but then we found out Mike is scheduled for the Tokyo layover, and since his flight this weekend got canceled, we just decided to call everybody and do this instead. Nothing fancy, come as you are. We aren't barbecuing. That's so suburban, and anyway, who wants to stand around turning steaks all night! So I've ordered some stuff from the deli. Cliff wanted to break a bottle of champagne on the fire pit, but Mike convinced him it would be a sinful waste of good champagne, not to mention the damage it might do to the fire pit, so well open the bottle the civilized way and christen the fire pit by burning the cork with appropriate ceremony. So what do you think? Can you make it? You have to come.'

'Well…'

'Amanda, have you been running? Why do you sound out of breath?'

'Gee whiz, I don't know Jody, you have that effect on people sometimes! Okay, I'll come. What time?' It had just occurred to her that Zack London was probably entirely capable of coming over here and hauling her bodily to his place. But if she were safely away for the evening…

'Oh, you know, seven-thirtyish.'

'Oh,' Maddy muttered, thinking fast. Her lessons with Zack were scheduled for six. 'How about if I come over a little early and help?'

'By all means, come early, but not to help. Nobody's doing anything much. It's just a casual little thing, no big deal.'