Still Waters

Zack glanced at Theresa, who was shaking violently in spite of the gray wool blanket that shrouded her to her wide black eyes. He looked back at Maddy and snapped, 'Yeah, well, that's just tough.' He reached out and, ignoring Theresa's flinch, pulled the girl close against his side. 'She'll just have to get used to the idea that people who love each other sometimes get mad at each other. And when they get mad, sometimes they yell. But that doesn't mean they hit!' He squatted down suddenly and pulled Theresa around to face him. 'You hear me, squirt?'

She gave him a slow, awestruck nod.

'Well, let me tell you something else, young lady.' He rested his hands on Theresa's shoulders and looked sternly into her eyes. 'If you ever disobey me like that again, I'm gonna smack your bottom! Got that?'

Another nod. Zack felt himself deflating as the rage and adrenaline that had kept him going slowly ebbed from his system. He heaved an enormous sigh and suddenly hauled Theresa into a great bear hug. He just knelt there, dripping water, holding her while great shudders racked his body. After a few minutes he became aware of a small hand patting his back.

'It's okay, Zack,' Theresa was saying. 'It's okay. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad.'

He took another deep breath. 'I'm not mad,' he mumbled. 'Just scared.' He opened his eyes and looked over Theresa's head, searching for Maddy, who, it suddenly occurred to him, had become very quiet.

The paramedic had finally succeeded in getting the oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. Over it, her eyes stared blankly at him. She seemed to be in some kind of shock.

'Is she all right?' Zack asked hoarsely.

'Oh, yeah. She's going to be just fine.' The paramedic was already packing up his equipment. 'I'd have her checked out by a doctor, though, just to be sure.' He called to his partner, who was on his way back to the truck. 'Hey, Mike. See if you can intercept that ambulance, will you? We won't be needing it.'

Zack stood up, feeling as if his joints had rusted. He offered the paramedic his hand. 'Thanks…' He couldn't think of what else to say.

The paramedic grinned. 'Hey, no sweat. Just glad to have one of these holiday drowning calls turn out all right, for a change.' He waved and followed his partner up the hill.

Zack turned to Maddy, who was still sitting huddled in her blanket, staring up at him as if he'd suddenly sprouted an extra head. He squatted on his heels beside her.

'Maddy? Hey, babe, are you all right? I'm sorry I yelled at you-'

She gave her head a quick, violent shake. 'No… it's okay. I understand.' Her voice sounded thick.

He touched her face, drawing his fingers down her cheek. 'Then what is it? What's wrong?'

'Zack,' she said faintly, 'did you say… I heard you say…'

'Yes? What?' Suddenly his heart was pounding in a way it never did after a race. He began to wonder if something was wrong with him-if maybe he was getting old.

'I heard you say two people… Did you mean… that you love me?'

He could only stare at her, overwhelmed. 'Are you crazy?' he muttered brokenly.

She slowly nodded, still gazing into his eyes as if transfixed by something she saw there.

'Of course I love you!' His emotions were erupting again, in a way some might have considered unmasculine. He snatched his hand away from her face and gestured wildly with it, so overcome by his need to touch her, to crush her in his arms, that he didn't trust himself to do so without hurting her. 'When I think… about losing you- When I thought about you down there in that water, sinking… When I thought of you dying in that water, when you-'

'Zack!' Her eyes were suddenly round and full of light. Her hands were on his arms, holding him tightly, shaking him. 'Zack, I wasn't afraid! I just realized that. I wasn't-not in the same way! I was scared, yeah, but the way anyone would be. It wasn't… terror, like my nightmares! Zack, I'm okay, I'm really okay!'

'Yeah…' He took a deep breath, dashed moisture from his cheeks, and shook his head, smiling at her through a blur. 'You sure are. More than okay.'

'Zack.' She was shaking him again. 'I've got to tell you something, something wonderful-'

'Lord, I hope so. You'd better be telling me you love me, too, or I'm liable to be taking a walk off the end of this pier!'

'Oh, that too. Of course I lo-'

'What do you mean, 'that too'!' he said with a growl, just before he lost his grip on his self-restraint and dragged her into his arms.

'No…' She was shaking her head frantically, bracing her hands against his chest, and smiling. Laughing. Crying.

'I love you, Zachary, and I have wonderful news for you. You won't believe it. Just wait until I tell you!'

When, a few moments later, Zack let go with a whoop of pure joy, there was no one to cast him more than a glance of mild curiosity. The crowd had dispersed, gone back to Frisbees and sparklers and picnic baskets. If anyone thought it the least bit odd that he suddenly gathered the two people he loved most in the world into his arms and hugged them, laughing and crying at the same time, he couldn't have cared less.

Theresa,' Zack said some time later. 'Maddy and I'd like to ask you something.'

They'd decided, in spite of everything, to stay for the fireworks. They'd promised Theresa fireworks; they'd never hear the end of it if they didn't stay. So they sat sandwiched together for warmth, waiting in suspense for the first skyrockets to burst across the darkening sky. Theresa was between Maddy's knees, Maddy between Zack's, with his arms around them both and the blankets wrapped around all three of them. Maddy's purse and its precious contents lay on the blanket beside Maddy's feet.

Theresa tilted her head and said agreeably, 'Okay.'

'How would you like it,' Zack said slowly, pausing every couple of syllables to touch his lips to Maddy's ear, a process that was causing waves of warm shivers to cascade down her spine, 'if you could come and live with Maddy and me?'

Theresa was silent for a minute, considering. 'That would be good.' She swiveled her head to look up at Maddy. 'You mean like, you'd be my foster parents 'stead of Dottie?'

'No,' Zack said. 'I mean we'd be like your real mom and dad. You'd live with us… forever.'

'Oh.' Theresa's head swiveled back. She looked out at the empty sky and shrugged. 'I don't think I can.' Her voice sounded sad.

Zack looked at Maddy, Maddy looked at Zack, and they both shrugged. Zack cleared his throat and asked carefully, 'Why not?'

'Well, cause I have a real mom and dad already. They're in heaven. So nobody can't be my real parents.'

Maddy held her breath. She felt a tremor ripple through Zack's chest, but couldn't tell whether it was laughter or something else.

'Well,' Zack said, and rested his chin on the top of Maddy's head. After a moment he cleared his throat and went on. 'I have a real son, did you know that? His name is Josh, and he's in heaven too. Now, if Maddy and I adopt you, you'll be our real daughter. That's what the law says. So if we can have another real kid, it seems to me you could have another set of real parents.'

Maddy felt the pressure of Zack's lips on the top of her head and tilted sideways to press against his shoulder. They both waited tensely while Theresa turned the logic of that over in her mind. After what seemed like forever, they felt her head move up and down.

'Okay. Then it's prob'ly all right.'

'Well, okay, then. It's settled.' Zack lowered his mouth to the curve of Maddy's neck. She felt his slowly expelled breath like a warm caress. Both the big, solid body against her back and the small, thin one in her arms seemed very still and subdued.

After a while Theresa tipped her head back and asked, 'Where would we live? Maddy gots a house, and so do you. I like Maddy's house-you can open up the ceiling and see the sky-but she doesn't have a swimming pool, and I don't think she has enough beds for everybody to sleep in.'