Still Waters

she'd sat here, too, but that had been different. That had been butterflies, the cold sick dread she'd grown accustomed to over the years. Right now she felt hot and shaky and confused.

In the last few days, she realized, her emotions had been under almost constant bombardment. She was beginning to feel besieged. She knew that the kind of work she did required a certain degree of insulation in order to survive it. People who let themselves get emotionally involved tended to burn out pretty quickly. Maddy had always managed to keep herself at arm's length-literally. Her puppets were her buffer. Which was really ironic, she thought, when you stopped to consider it. The very tools she used to reach those terrified and withdrawn kids kept her from being reached by them.

But that was before Theresa. How had that kid managed to get under her defenses like that? All because she'd made the mistake of trying to tackle an old hang-up. It had turned out to be like nudging the first in a lineup of dominoes. Her fear had made her sensitive to the embarrassment of being in the wrong class, and fear and embarrassment had made her vulnerable. And in that state she'd allowed one small brown hand to reach out and touch her. Touch her- not Bosley, or one of the other puppets. And she hadn't been prepared for what happened to her heart when she first looked down into those big, lost eyes…

And then, on top of that, to be confronted with Zack London, literally in the flesh! And to suffer the unspeakable indignity of passing out cold in his arms! She'd already arrived at the realization that it had to have been Zack who had carried her into the office that day, Zack who had wrapped her in a blanket and placed her on the cot. And after all that, knowing who he was now and what had happened to him… Well, it was no wonder she was feeling nervous and awkward. Anyone would. As for getting the shakes at the sound of his voice, of course it was because she'd immediately realized he could only be calling about Theresa.

Maddy pressed her forehead against the steering wheel and closed her eyes. Oh, how she'd prayed she was wrong about Theresa. But it couldn't be anything else. Zack wouldn't call her for any other reason. Unless-her heart gave a hopeful lurch-he'd found an adult swim class for her after all! Maybe that was it. Maybe-

She reached for the car-door handle, then stopped. Theresa had come out of the pool building. She looked incredibly tiny, standing there in her yellow bathing suit and sandals, holding a towel around her shoulders like a cape. So small and unprotected. Maddy's heart ached as she watched the little girl search the parking lot, then begin to descend the steps one at a time, her sandals making slapping sounds on the cement.

Maddy sat very still, hardly breathing, as the child came slowly toward her. For a few moments she thought Theresa had seen and recognized her and was coming over to say hello. When she heard a man's voice, rough and impatient, coming from the car right next to hers, she was so startled, she jumped and banged her crazy bone on the door handle.

'Hey, come on. Get a move on!'

Theresa looked up, and Maddy's body went cold. She felt like a great big exposed nerve. One side of the little girl's face was discolored from temple to jaw. Her lip was swollen and the outer part of the white of her eye was blood red.

Fighting the urge to jump out of the car and grab the child, Maddy shifted her gaze to the fragile little hands. She saw them grip the chrome door handle and struggle to open the heavy door, then appear again on the windowsill as they tugged the door shut. Maddy caught one brief glimpse of a swarthy face, dark, curly hair, and a moustache. Then the car roared away.

And still Maddy sat, unable to move.

'You saw?' a voice asked. Zack was leaning over, looking at her through her open window.

She nodded, still staring straight ahead. 'It's… different,' she said in a low voice, 'when you… when you…'

'When you're personally involved. Yeah, I can imagine.' He put his hands on the windowsill, then reached for the handle and pulled the door open.

Maddy jerked her head sideways but still didn't look at him. 'How do you know?'

His voice was grim. 'I have a very vivid imagination. And I haven't done much else since you told me what you do, dammit, except imagine it. Come on. Let's go inside and talk about this. I'll get you a drink of water.'

Maddy finally looked at him and felt a wave of shame. At least she'd had experience with this kind of thing. She'd had some warning, some preparation. Zack hadn't. His face looked like bleached bone.

Without a word she nodded and got stiffly out of the car.

As Zack followed Maddy into the pool office he was experiencing a particularly frustrating and futile kind of rage. It was a feeling he'd only had once before in his life.

'How do you take that, day in and day out?' He threw the question at her angrily, almost as an accusation. He found himself resenting her ability to 'take it.' Dammit, it seemed almost a kind of complicity. And it only enraged him further that she just looked at him with compassion in response to his rudeness, as if she understood how badly he needed to hit out at someone-anyone.

'I'll make this report, if you like,' she said in a low voice. 'Your name doesn't even have to be on it.'

He stared at her. 'What the hell do you mean? I want my name on it! I'd like to personally strangle with my bare hands whoever did that!'

'You'd be surprised how many people either don't want to get involved at all or want the protection of anonymity.' She'd reached the telephone ahead of him. She grabbed the receiver and held it in what looked like protective custody while she met his furious stare. 'I know who to talk to,' she told him gently, and began to dial. Zack expelled a frustrated breath and combed his hair back with his fingers.

' Family Crisis Center -Dr. Larry Whitlaw, please,' Maddy said into the phone, still watching him with a worried frown.

Zack took two agitated paces to the left, four back to the right, and then, muttering under his breath, pivoted and stalked into the men's dressing rooms. He took his time showering and dressing, and even wasted some more time trying to instill discipline in his hair. That effort failed, but in the process some of the discipline must have managed to penetrate to his brain. He was calm when he went back out into the office.

She was sitting on the corner of his desk, waiting for him. She was wearing a white sundress with a full skirt, and her long legs were crossed at the knee. She looked like the original snow queen. Incredible, he thought. The other day she'd been Marilyn at her sexiest and most vulnerable; today she was Grace Kelly. Who the hell was she really? And why did he want to know?

'What happens now?' he asked harshly, jamming his hands into his pockets.

Maddy took a deep breath. 'The home environment will be thoroughly checked out. Counseling and other assistance services will be made available to the family-'

'Family!' she sounded as if she were reading an information booklet aloud! 'What about that poor little kid? Won't they get her out of there? Lock up whoever did that to her?'

'They may remove her from the home temporarily, if the situation warrants,' Maddy said carefully. 'But permanent separation is usually a last resort.'

'Last resort? Whose?' He wanted to grab her and shake her out of that maddening professional calm. 'What, does somebody have to get killed first?'

'Zack.' Her voice was very low and unusually hoarse. She had to clear her throat before she could go on. 'These children love their parents, in spite of… everything. Breaking up a home is… well, it's very traumatic for the child. We try to help, not make things worse.'

Zack took a deep breath, held it while he glared helplessly at the ceiling, then released it in a long sigh. 'I'm sorry. I just feel so… so damn…'

She stood up and laid a hand on his arm. 'You did the right thing. The right people are moving on it now. Something will be done, I promise you.'

But would it be the right thing? he wondered. And would it be enough? He took another deep breath, then realized his chest was aching in a way it hadn't in a very long time. He stared down at the hand on his arm, and she snatched it away. He reached out and caught it. 'Hey, listen, are you doing anything right this minute?'

She'd made a startled little gasp when he'd grabbed her hand, and was staring at him as if she thought he might explode. 'N-now?'

'Yeah. How about a cup of coffee or something? I don't know about you, but I need to get out of here. I'd like to talk about this a little more.' He hesitated, then added, 'Preferably someplace quiet.'

She was biting her lip, looking more like Marilyn now than Grace. After a moment she said, 'Okay. How about