Virgin Seduction

Little shivers rippled through her as she dressed for the day in cool gray slacks and a simple white blouse. It is true-it has really happened. I am in America- in Texas! A married woman! Over and over she said those words to herself, adding to those another, perhaps incongruous thought, I am free!

She realized that for most women marriage might mean the opposite of freedom, but for her it seemed to promise endless possibilities. Yes, she was a wife, and she would work hard to be a good one. But she was in America. Here she could do anything-go to college, become a doctor, or a teacher-perhaps even a lawyer, or the head of her own company, like Elena. No longer would people laugh indulgently at her and treat her like a child. She was Mrs. Cade Gallagher, and she was in America. She was free.

She told herself these things, but in a state of fearful wonderment, not quite able to believe they were true -like a caged bird who hasn't yet realized that the door has been left open, or a child too young to grasp the fact that the wonderful new toys in the gaily wrapped packages are hers to keep. This is my house, she thought as she walked slowly down the curving staircase, trailing her fingers on the polished wood banister. This is our home…mine and Cade's. The thought produced more of those happy shivers, and she was biting her lip and smiling as she went into the kitchen, like a child with a secret.

Betsy was standing at the sink, stemming strawberries and singing along with the music from a radio turned down low. When Leila said 'Good morning!' she turned with a little cry and a smile of welcome that made her cheeks look round as pomegranates. 'You're awake! I bet you're hungry. Sit down, sit down-I'll make you some lunch.'

'Lunch!' Leila looked for a clock. 'What time is it?'

Betsy leaned sideways to peer at a digital clock on the back of a gleaming white stove. 'Almost two.'

'Two! In the afternoon? But-I have never slept so late!'

'Jet lag,' said Betsy, waving a hand. 'Take you a couple days to adjust. Here-have some strawberries. They're pretty good right now-don't even need sugar. I thought I'd leave a bowl in the fridge for you- they'll be good for your breakfast tomorrow, too.' She pushed a blue bowl heaped high with the berries over in front of Leila and put a fork beside it.

Leila picked up a berry with her fingers and closed her eyes as she bit into it, wondering how Betsy could have guessed that strawberries were one of her favorite foods.

'I guess Cade told you he's not going to be home to-night-got a business trip this weekend.' Betsy sounded wary.

'Yes, I know.' Leila picked up another berry. 'This afternoon I think I would like to see the outside-the horses.'

'You sure?' Betsy seemed relieved as she cocked an eyebrow. 'It gets hot out there, middle of the afternoon.'

'That is good, I like the heat,' said Leila, showing her dimples. 'It will make me feel as if I am at home.'

Betsy gave her a doubtful, sideways look as she opened the refrigerator. 'If you say so, hon.'

Leila ate a delicious meal of strawberries and a chicken salad made with strips of roasted sweet red peppers and pecans, sitting in a breakfast room with a wall of windows that looked out on a swimming pool surrounded by lawns and flower gardens. Beyond that she could not see, because of course there were more trees, making walls of green all around the garden. She also drank a very delicious iced beverage made with tea and lemon and a great deal of sugar. If I am not careful I will get fat, here in America, she thought.

When she had finished her lunch, Leila opened a door in the breakfast room and stepped out onto a flagstone patio. Once again she gasped involuntarily when she felt the slap of hot, wet air, and heard Betsy call out from the kitchen, 'I told you.'

I keep forgetting about the humidity, Leila thought as she forced herself to breathe the thick, soupy air. But it was only a small thing, and she would get used to it.

She lingered at the pool, pausing to trail her fingers in the clear, tepid water and sniff some roses that had no scent. Then she set off briskly, following a flagstone pathway that led along the side of the house and through a wrought-iron gate. Just past the gate she came to the corner of the house, and there the walls of greenery ended. Interrupted by only a few very large trees and bisected by a curving gravel lane, the grassy ground swept away to the stables, which were made of wood, painted white with green trim. Beyond the stables were fields and paddocks of emerald green, ringed by white-painted fences, and in the paddocks she could see horses-mares with foals!-and Rueben, leaning on the fence, watching them.

Her heart quickened with excitement and she no longer noticed the heat and humidity. As she hurried along the gravel lane she was thinking, These are Cade's horses-my husband's horses. And, with a sense of awe, Mine, too.

As she came nearer to the paddock where the man stood vigil, she could see that it held only a mare with a mottled gray body, darker face and legs, and jet-black mane and tail.

'She is very beautiful,' she said as she joined Rueben at the fence, keeping a respectful distance between them. She did not ask what was obvious, even to her, but after a moment said, 'She will have her foal very soon, I think.'

Rueben glanced briefly at her, as if she had surprised him, then looked back at the mare and nodded. 'Maybe today…maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow.'

Leila didn't say anything, but her insides had those joyful shivers again. The birth of a foal-she had never seen such a thing. It must be the most wonderful thing that could happen, she thought. She wondered… she hoped…if she was very careful not to get in the way, if Rueben might let her watch.

But that would be later. Right now there was something else she wanted to ask him, and after a long and oddly comfortable silence, she did. 'The horses that are here-are there any that may be ridden?'

He gave her that look of surprise. 'You like to ride?'

'Oh, yes,' Leila breathed, 'very much.'

Rueben lifted up a shoulder. 'Okay, sure-we got a couple that're real gentle…' Leila didn't tell him that 'gentle' was the last thing she wanted. 'Not right now, though,' said Rueben. 'Too hot. Maybe this evening. Tomorrow morning.'

'Thank you,' said Leila. 'I would like that very much. And…where can I ride? Only here, in the pastures…?'

'The pastures, sure.' Rueben gave his shoulder another hitch. 'There's a trail, too. Goes down along the creek.'

Leila nodded, but didn't say anything. She was looking at the neat green paddocks with their white rail fences, and remembering her dream about riding across endless plains with the wind in her face and her hair blowing free. So, here I am in America, in Texas, she thought. But…where are the vistas?

'You want to ride, tell me,' said Rueben. 'I fix you up.'

'Thank you,' said Leila softly. She turned away from the paddocks and walked slowly back to the house.

* * *

She woke in the darkness and was strangely wide awake and rested. Jet lag, she thought, stretching her body in the great wide bed she had yet to share with her husband. My days and nights are turned around.

Knowing it would be useless to try to sleep any longer, she threw back the covers and got out of bed. Without turning on the light she made her way to the window and stood with her arms around herself, looking out on the shadowy, dark landscape.

' This is Texas…America.'

She said the words deliberately as she had been saying them over and over to herself all day, but they failed to give her those joyous and optimistic shivers. Around her the house was empty and still, and there was a hollow feeling of loneliness inside her. She missed Tamir, and the palace that was always so full of people -her family, the servants. She remembered that she had sometimes had to steal away to secret corners of the gardens to find moments to herself. Now, as the silence of the house pressed in around her, she would have given almost anything for the sounds of laughter…people's voices.