arm, announcing, “Bath time, mate.” When Toby protested, Duncan tickled his ribs and made growling noises until the little boy squealed with laughter and let himself be carried away, still giggling.
Had her father ever played with her or Sam like that? Thinking about it, Lally couldn’t actually remember her father playing with them at all. The attention he’d been paying them lately was a new thing, something that had only started since he’d been so angry with her mum. And although she knew that, when he was nice to her she wanted it to go on, and that made her feel sick in quite a different sort of way.
Gemma followed Duncan and Toby from the room, giving Lally a smile and a feather touch on her shoulder as she passed, but Lally found she couldn’t meet her eyes. That left her mum and Nana huddled by the cooker, talking in the sort of low voices that meant they didn’t want the children to hear. Nana was using her hands, the way she did when she wanted to make a point, and her mum looked
frightened and stubborn, as though Nana was telling her something she didn’t want to hear. But there was something more, something in her mother’s face it took Lally a moment to recognize—a sort of triumphant excitement.
Lally felt the familiar cramping in her stomach intensify, and the turkey sandwich she’d nibbled at tea rose into her throat. She swallowed hard against the nausea and bit her lip. How could her mother be anything but terrified when her dad was so furious? Why had her mum walked out in the middle of Christmas dinner, knowing how he would react?
When Lally and Sam had arrived at the farmhouse and found her waiting, she’d rattled off a story about having gone back for something at home and then having car trouble. Lally, an experienced liar herself, hadn’t believed it for a moment.
If that was true, why hadn’t she said she was leaving or rung them? And why were they here now instead of at home? Home, where her dad would be waiting—no, that didn’t bear thinking about, either. But she’d told Leo she’d be home, and it didn’t do to disappoint Leo.
Of course, she was nearer Leo here than she would be back in Nantwich, but that meant sod-all when she was stuck under the watchful gaze of both her mother and her grandmother. Her chances of sneaking out were pretty much nil—at least on her own.
She cast a speculative look at Kit, still at the far end of the table with Granddad. Sam, who had joined them, was hopping from one foot to the other, jabbing his finger at an empty space he thought might fit the puzzle piece Kit held in his hand. Kit, however, ignored him, and with great deliberation slotted the piece into another spot. He looked up, met her eyes, then flushed and glanced away.
Rejection jabbed Lally like a fist. Her tentative smile died half formed and her eyes stung with sudden, humiliating tears. Jumping from her stool, she slipped out into the quiet solace of the hall.
Sound was sliced off in midmurmur as the door latch clicked behind her, and the air felt cold and heavy, a tangible weight against her burning cheeks.
She stood, shivering with the shock of the temperature change, pressing the back of her hand against her nose to stop any more telltale blubbing. What had changed since last night? Kit had liked her, she’d been sure of it, and she’d felt giddy with the unaccustomed sense of power. She hadn’t been able to resist showing off to Leo, even though she’d known it was unwise. Animosity had crack-led like static between the two boys from the instant they’d met.
But Kit had seemed all right in church afterwards . . . maybe it was just her dreadful family, and the things that had happened today, that had made him want nothing to do with her. Or maybe his dad had had a word with him. When her uncle Duncan looked at her, she felt as if he could see right through her, and unlike Gemma, there was no understanding in his eyes.
Defiance flared in her. Leaving the hall, she let herself quietly into the empty sitting room. Only embers glowed in the hearth, and the tree looked naked, stripped of all its presents. It was pathetic, Christmas, a stupid sham, when no one really cared anything about anyone else.
She turned away from the gifts, picking her way across the mine-field of toys Toby and Sam had left littered on the carpet until she reached the drinks cabinet. Good, it looked undisturbed. It seemed her grandmother hadn’t offered round the after-dinner sherry bottle. She checked the liquid level, then tossed back a swallow or two while she thought what to do. A comforting warmth began to burn in her middle. Dutch courage, she thought it was called, although she didn’t know where the Dutch came into it. After another sip, she corked the bottle and lowered it carefully back into its spot.
“Presto,” she whispered. The bottle had vanished and returned, just like her mum. If her mother could simply walk out, without any explanation, why shouldn’t she do the same?
“What are you doing?” Kit’s voice was sharper than he’d intended.
Lally had been behaving oddly ever since she’d arrived at the farmhouse with Nana and Granddad, and when he’d seen her leave the room, his uneasiness intensified. Managing to slip out of the kitchen when his granddad was occupied with Sam, he’d found Lally by the front door, half into her pink fleece jacket. At the sound of his footsteps she’d frozen like a startled hare, but when she saw it was him she relaxed and shrugged into the other sleeve.
“Going out,” she answered coolly. “I should think that’s obvious.”
“Now?” Kit’s voice squeaked alarmingly and he cleared his throat before trying again. “Where?”
“Why is it any of your business?”
Unprepared for her belligerence, Kit stuttered, “Because you didn’t tell anyone. And it’s . . . dark.” His face flamed. God, he sounded a complete prat.
“Dark?” Lally echoed, her voice dripping scorn. “You’re telling me I can’t go out in the dark, like I’m a little kid? Who do you think you are, coming into
“What?” Kit stared at her, completely lost. “But I never—I didn’t—”
“You did, just now, in the kitchen. You looked at me like I was something you’d wipe off your shoe.” Her voice rose shrilly.
“Lally, what are you talking about?” Kit moved closer, afraid someone would hear them, and caught a faint whiff of her perfume.
He shoved his hands into his pockets, resisting the urge to touch her.
“Look, I know you’re upset about your parents, but I never—”
“What about my parents?” She’d gone quiet again, but her chest rose and fell with the quick rhythm of her breathing and he knew he’d said the wrong thing.
“Nothing. It’s just that—I heard them talking just now, your
mum and Rose—Nana. They said you were going to stay here tonight, and I thought—”
“Here?” Lally stared at him, uncomprehending. “Sam and me?”
“And your mum.” He didn’t want to add that Rosemary seemed worried that Lally’s dad might do something bad to her mother.
Lally didn’t seem to take in the import of what he’d told her. “But I don’t want to stay here,” she said, stubbornly. “I want to go home.
And I promised—”
“Promised what?” Kit pressed when she didn’t go on.
She shook her head, lifting her hand to the door latch as if coming to a decision. “I’m going out. I’m going to walk to Leo’s, if you really want to know. You can come if you want.”
“My dad would kill me,” Kit said. He might as well have tattooed
“wanker” on his forehead.
“So? My dad gets mad at me all the time.” She threw this out as if it were a badge of honor.
His mind flashed back to the afternoon, walking with his dad, talking to the woman with the boat—Annie— and he knew he could never explain that he didn’t want to lose what he’d felt.
Sounds drifted down from upstairs: the deeper rumble of his father’s voice, Gemma’s lighter tone, a laugh. Toby’s bath must be finished. They would be coming down again, Toby allowed to stay up a bit longer in his pajamas.
Lally had heard them, too. “Come on, hurry,” she hissed at him.
“Wait.” Kit reached for her then, his hand finding the thick fl eece of her coat sleeve. He couldn’t go with her, yet if he didn’t, he’d lose all credibility in her eyes. “Don’t go tonight,” he said, struggling to find a delaying tactic. “Wait till tomorrow. Then I’ll go with you.”
