out the window as trees rushed by, listening to rain patter on the windshield. Walter’s wife, Beth, had ridden in this car recently. I could smell her body wash — sweet, icy juniper. Her pink emery board lay on the floor mat at my feet.
'You going back to Aruba?' he asked.
'No.' I wasn’t going to lie outright to him.
'So I guess you aren’t telling Cynthia, either.' I shook my head. 'With The Scorcher coming out, she’s gonna go apeshit.'
'That’s why I didn’t tell her. She’s a drill sergeant. Call her tonight at home for me, would you? Tell her I said I’m tired of writing, I need a vacation, and not to worry.'
'And when she asks me where you went?'
'Tell her all you know is it’s some tiny island in the South Pacific.'
'She’ll think I’m lying.'
'That’s her problem. She’s not your agent.'
'Please tell me what’s going —'
'Don’t ask, Walter.'
The rain was still pouring when we turned southbound onto I-77. I closed my eyes and took a careful breath, my heart dancing like I’d thrown down two shots of espresso. I wanted to turn back. The book tour, and relaxing in the comfort of my home while summer burgeoned around the lake, was how I’d envisioned spending the coming months.
'Call me,' Walter said. 'Or write. Just let me know you’re okay.'
'If it’s possible, I will.'
'Need me to get your mail and take care of your bills?'
'Yeah. I meant to ask you before.'
'You’re scaring me, Andy,' he said.
The scurry of windshield wipers swinging back and forth and the groan of the engine became deafening. I fiddled with the automatic window, flicking the tiny button with my middle finger, though nothing happened. The child-safety lock was on.
The minuscule skyline of Charlotte rose out of the green piedmont distance, the buildings decapitated, their pinnacles cloaked in the low ceiling of storm clouds. Walter looked over at me, attempting a smile. 'I’m sure you’ll be fine.'
'I really don’t know. That’s the thing.'
At eleven o’clock, we arrived at the main entrance of Douglas International Airport. We got out of the car, and I lifted my bag from the trunk and hoisted it up onto my shoulder.
'I’ll come in with you if you want,' Walter said.
'You can’t.' I glanced around at the crowd of travelers moving through the automatic doors. No one seemed to be paying us any attention, so I pulled out a manila envelope from a pocket on my bag and discreetly tossed it into the trunk.
'If I’m not back by the first of September, you can open it.'
'September?'
'Walter. Listen to me. Don’t show it to anyone. If the time comes and I’m not back, you’ll know what to do with what’s inside. I wrote instructions.' He slammed the trunk shut.
Our eyes locked. His searched mine, confused, apprehensive. I took him in whole so I could carry his image with me — him standing there in that granite gray suit, no tie, a white oxford shirt with the top two buttons undone. My best friend. Walter. Will I look back on this moment and regret not letting you help me? My God.
'See you around,' I said. Then I slapped him on the shoulder and walked into the airport.
I peered out the circular window and guessed that the jet was cruising somewhere over the plains. Even at six miles above the earth, I could only see a tawny ocean extending from horizon to horizon. In first class, I reclined, unbuckled, in a plush seat. Through the curtain that separated me from coach, I registered the discontented murmur of a hundred miserable passengers. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d flown coach, and amid the fear that accompanied me to Denver, I found this smallest degree of luxury a comfort.
I stepped into the terminal. As I stared down the long corridor bustling with impatient travelers, I saw an old white man in a black chauffeur’s suit staring at me. He held a piece of cardboard displaying my last name printed in tall, thin letters. I approached him.
'I’m Andrew Thomas,' I said. The brim of the man’s hat came only to my shoulders. He looked me up and down with wide, uneven eyes.
'Welcome to Denver. Name’s Hiram,' he rasped, and a smile spread suddenly across his gaunt, sinking face. 'I have a limousine waiting for you outside. Shall we get your luggage?'
I followed him through the concourse, and for an old man, his stride was fast and steady. In no time, we reached the baggage claim.
As we waited for my duffel bag, I asked him, 'So you know where to take me?'
'Yes sir,' he said.
'Where?'
He frowned reproachfully. 'Now, I was told to keep that a surprise, Mr. Thomas. I got a pretty penny for keeping this a secret, so I can’t go spoiling it for you.'
'You won’t spoil it for me,' I said, forcing myself to laugh good-naturedly, attempting to put him at ease. 'Really. I’ll double what he’s paying you.' Hiram laughed and shook his head.
'He said you’d probably try something like this. Told me to tell him if you did and he’d pay me twice what you offered.'
'Fine,' I said. 'Forget it. Let it be a secret, then. Don’t tell him I asked.'
I saw my bag gliding toward us, but when I reached for it, Hiram grabbed my arm.
'Now, that’s my job, Mr. Thomas.'
'No, really, it’s okay. That’s a heavy bag.'
'I get paid well for what I do, Mr. Thomas. Let me do my job.' He stepped in front of me and heaved my bag awkwardly off the conveyor belt.
'I have breakable items in there,' I said. 'I’d prefer to carry it.'
'No,' he said flatly, and began walking away.
'Stop!' I yelled, drawing glances from the other passengers waiting for their luggage. He stopped, and I ran up to him and jerked the bag off his shoulder. 'I’d prefer to carry it,' I said. Hiram’s sagging eyes narrowed. 'I have to use the bathroom,' I said. 'I’ll be back.'
I found a rest room and squeezed into the last stall. Sitting down on the toilet, I opened the bag and could immediately tell it had been sifted, for my clothes were in shambles. Reaching down, I retrieved the black gun case I’d declared at the ticket counter.
I unlocked and opened the case, took out the .357, and set it on top of the clothes. I found the box of rounds buried under my socks, and I tore it open and loaded five semijacketed hollow-points into the cylinder. Then, with the .357 stuffed into the waistband of my khakis, and my oversized green polo shirt pulled down over my waist, I put the empty gun case and the box of rounds back into the duffel bag, zipped it up, and exited the stall.
Three men stood at the urinals, and I strode nervously past them. If you get caught, this is prison, I thought, moving through the swarm of people back toward Hiram. The gun felt so heavy, like it might fall out of my pants onto the floor.
We reached the entrance of the airport, and Hiram led me outside to a black limousine. I let him load my bag into the trunk, and then he opened the door for me and I climbed inside, half-expecting to find someone waiting for me. But there was no one — just the immaculate gray interior of the limousine.
When Hiram had settled into the driver’s seat and started the car, he looked back and said, 'There’s a minibar and a TV if you’re interested. Just let me know if you need anything else, Mr. Thomas.'
Hiram pulled out of the parking space and drove away from the airport. Staring out the deeply tinted windows, beyond the glare of the tarmac, I saw a brown throng of mountains in the western distance. I wanted to
