Confessions at Midnight

of the deal.'

'Perhaps.' Matthew's gaze met his. 'Have you considered your family?' he asked quietly. 'There's no love lost between you, and they would certainly benefit from your demise.'

A humorless sound escaped Daniel. 'Mayne and Rayburn suggested the same thing. Perhaps if they were in London I'd be inclined to suspect them, but they're in Austria.'

Matthew nodded slowly. 'The suggestion of Tolliver having a silent partner is a good one, one we should have Rayburn and Mayne look into.'

'Samuel is searching for them. As soon as I speak to them, I'll let them know.' He pulled in a deep breath then admitted, 'I wasn't entirely truthful with Mayne earlier, and I suspect he knows.'

'About what?'

'He wanted to know my whereabouts last night. I told him I was home.'

'But you weren't?'

'No.'

When he didn't elaborate, Matthew said, 'You were with Carolyn.'

It wasn't a question and there was no point denying it, as Matthew knew him so well. He gave a tight nod then said, 'I promised her discretion and had no intention of telling them something that is none of their business.'

'Surely they'll guess the nature of your relationship once they learn you believe her to be in danger.'

'Perhaps, but there was no way around telling them that. Still, I don't plan to admit to them that Carolyn and I are anything more than close friends, which is perfectly true. Anything else is none of their damn business.'

'You were with Carolyn today as well?'

'Yes. I took her to Meadow Hill.'

Matthew's brows rose at that. 'I see. And how was your visit there?'

Emotional. Frightening. Cathartic.

Perfect.

'Enjoyable,' he murmured. Not wishing to answer any more questions on that topic, he said, 'Sarah was anxious to speak with Carolyn. Nothing is amiss, I hope.'

'On the contrary, everything is wonderful. I'm going to be a father.'

Based on his expression, there was no doubt Matthew was ecstatic. Daniel smiled and held out his hand, happy for his friend, but aware of a vague sense of emptiness tugging at him. 'Congratulations.'

'Thank you.'

'You seem very calm.'

'Actually, I've been a frenzy of anxiety ever since the doctor confirmed the pregnancy this morning. Both Sarah and the doctor assure me she's perfectly fit, and Sarah has forbid me to worry. She said if I intend to pace the floors until the babe arrives, she'll cosh me over the head with a skillet.'

'Quite the violent streak your wife has.'

'Apparently. Of course, even the threat of bodily harm won't keep me from worrying. I'm afraid worrying comes with the territory of loving someone.' Matthew looked at him over the rim of his brandy snifter. 'As you're finding out.'

Daniel's own snifter halted halfway to his lips and his brows collapsed in a frown. 'What do you mean?'

'Do you truly not know?'

'Know what?'

Matthew looked toward the ceiling then pinned his gaze on Daniel. 'You're in love, you idiot.'

An immediate denial sprang to Daniel's lips, but when he opened his mouth no sound came forth. In love? Surely not. But the instant he tried to deny it, he realized with stunning clarity it was true. That's what this bone-deep wanting, needing, and yearning was. This unfamiliar aching, twisting, gut wrenching plethora of emotions that ran the gamut from happiness to misery.

He was in love.

The knowledge hit him with the force of a plank upside his head. Good God, this was worse than he'd thought. Had he believed he was only losing a small bit of his heart to Carolyn? What a jest! He'd lost the entire thing. And his soul as well.

He set down his brandy then walked to the sofa, where he sat down heavily. Tunneling his fingers through his hair, he looked up at Matthew and said in a dazed voice that seemed to come from very far away, 'Bloody hell, you're right.'

'That you're in love? I know.'

'That I'm an idiot.' Daniel rested his head in his hands and groaned. 'How did this happen? And how do I make it go away?'

Matthew chuckled. 'I imagine it happened in the usual manner-you discovered someone who… completes you. As for making it go away, I know from experience that you can't. It's not dyspepsia after all.' He settled himself in the wing chair across from Daniel. 'And why would you want to? Carolyn is a lovely woman.'

Daniel raised his head. 'Yes, she is. But she isn't in love with me. She still worships her dead husband. Her heart will always belong to him. She's made no secret of that.' A humorless sound escaped him at the irony. He'd never before wanted a woman's heart, and had certainly never intended to give his away. And what happened? He lost his heart to a woman who didn't want it and had no intention of giving him hers.

He blew out a long breath. 'What a bloody mess.'

'Perhaps she'll change her mind,' Matthew said.

Daniel shook his head. 'No. Edward was the love of her life. She adored him. Still does. No man could aspire to scale the pedestal upon which she's put him.'

'It's obvious she cares for you.'

'Yes, I'm sure she does, but in a lukewarm way compared to her feelings for Edward.'

And he knew, in his heart, that would never be enough for him. He could accept her loving memories of Edward-he wouldn't begrudge her the things that made her happy-but neither could he bear not to be first in her affections. To know that Edward's ghost always stood between them. That comparisons would always be made and he would always come out lacking.

For his own sake, he needed to end his affair with her. Now. Before he did something stupid and made an ass of himself. Like telling her he loved her. Or asking her to marry him. Or worse, begging her to do so. The only thing he could think of that was worse than not seeing love in her eyes would be seeing pity in them.

'Damn it all, why would anyone actually want to fall in love?' he asked.

'It's an incredible thing when you find the right person,' Matthew said softly.

Yes, the right person being someone who loved you as deeply as you loved them. Unfortunately that hadn't happened to him. And this unrequited, one-sided emotional hell was nothing short of torture.

'We're going to have to rename our group the Ladies Literary Society-Plus One Baby,' Carolyn said, giving Sarah a hug after her announcement that she was expecting a child. Sarah's happy news had enabled her to shove aside her own sadness over foolishly allowing herself to love a man who wanted no part of love. 'I cannot wait to be an aunt.'

'Neither can I,' Julianne and Emily said in unison.

'Well, you're all going to have to help me keep Matthew in check,' Sarah said, pushing up her glasses, 'because I can already see he's going to render us both insane. He didn't even want me to climb the stairs!' She looked toward the ceiling. 'If I don't nip his masculine panic in the bud right now, this is going to be a very long pregnancy indeed.'

Carolyn reached out and squeezed her hand. 'Be happy that the man you love is so devoted and caring, Sarah. There is no greater gift.' And no greater pain than when you are in love alone.

'Speaking of great gifts,' said Julianne, 'did anyone happen to notice that Mr. Gideon Mayne, the Bow Street Runner, attended Lord and Lady Exbury's soiree last evening?'

'Yes,' said Emily. 'He was there with Mr. Rayburn.'

'They are hoping to find clues regarding Lady Crawford's murder,' added Carolyn. 'But what does Mr. Mayne have to do with great gifts?'

Julianne looked around the room, as if making certain no one else was present to hear what she was about to