The Bride Thief

such an unlikely notion.

Emily thumped her on the back several times and added, 'Imagine him claiming he'd never marry. What nonsense. We all knew he'd change his mind when he found the right woman.' Tears shimmered in her eyes, and she gazed at Sammie with something akin to awe. 'We just never knew you would be the right woman.'

Sammie coughed and frantically waved her hand in front of her watering eyes. 'No,' she gasped. 'Not right.'

'Pass me her glass to refill, Emily,' Lucille instructed. 'And keep thumping on her back. Look there, her color's returning.'

'When is he planning to call upon you again?' Hermione asked, accepting more sherry while Lucille was pouring. 'You must make it a point not to be available every time he calls.'

'Hermie's right,' Emily said. 'And make certain you keep him waiting at least a quarter hour before you appear. Don't worry that he won't wait. A sophisticated gentleman such as the earl is quite used to such things.'

'And,' chimed in Lucille, 'you must spend at least a half hour a day practicing your flirtatious looks in the mirror. The one that always worked best for me was this.' Lowering her chin, she cast her gaze demurely downward. Then she slowly raised her gaze and fluttered her lashes.

'Oh, marvelously done,' Emily said, nodding her approval. 'Or peek at him over the edge of your fan-'

'-and pout your lips like this,' Hermie said, puckering her mouth into a perfect 0. 'And be sure to-'

Sammie held up her palm. 'Stop. Cease. You must listen to me.'

Her sisters fell silent and looked at her with a trio of eager, inquisitive, rapt expressions. Heavens, what a tangle. She needed to nip this disastrous state of affairs in the bud before it bloomed into a full garden. Shoving her spectacles back into place from where they'd slid down her nose during her coughing fit, she said, 'You've quite misinterpreted the situation. There is nothing going on between me and the earl.'

'But Mama said he called upon you and brought you flowers,' Lucille protested.

'Every unmarried gentleman in the village has done the same since my abduction, all seeking to question me about the Bride Thief. Lord Wesley is not besotted. Like all the others, he is merely a curiosity seeker.'

Emily emptied her sherry glass, then held it out for a refill. 'But Mama said he invited you to his home and-'

'Sent his carriage for you,' Lucille finished.

'Then surely Mama told you the earl invited both Hubert and I for the sole purpose of viewing his Herschel telescope. His invitation was purely scientific in nature.'

A frown crinkled Hermione's perfect brow. 'Has he called upon you since?'

'No,' Sammie said, quickly rationalizing that him finding her at the lake today did not qualify as calling upon her. 'Nor would I expect him to. Mama has read far too much into his actions.' Good lord, if Mama even suspected what half the earl's 'actions ' had included, she'd chirp herself into a real faint.

Emily's lovely smile collapsed with obvious disappointment. 'Then you mean he's not-'

'You mean he hasn't-' cut in Lucille, her expression matching Emily's.

'Indeed not,' Sammie said in her briskest tone. 'There is absolutely nothing between me and Lord Wesley.' She pursed her lips and settled her features into her most prim expression, praying the flush heating her face wouldn't give evidence of her blatant lie. 'I suggest you dismiss the matter from your minds.'

Although obviously let down by this turn of events, her sisters all mumbled their consent. Then Emily reached out and squeezed her hand. 'Well, if Lord Wesley spent an evening in your company yet failed to recognize how special you are, well, then the man is simply…'

'A dolt,' supplied Hermie, laying her hand on top of theirs.

'An ass,' Lucille pronounced in a too-loud whisper, followed immediately by an unladylike hiccup. 'More sherry, anyone?'

They all held out their empty glasses. As Lucille refilled their drinks, she said, 'If you didn't want to discuss your relationship with the earl-'

'There is no relationship to discuss,' Sammie managed through gritted teeth.

'Right. Then why did you wish to speak to us?'

She did not bother to point out that she hadn't wanted to speak to all of them-only Lucille. But clearly Lucille had dispatched messages fetching their sisters with the promise of finding out the details of Sammie's relationship with the earl. She was tempted to abandon her entire scheme, but her sisters were her only hope of gaining the information she sought. So long as she made it crystal clear she wished to know simply for scientific reasons, all should go well.

After swallowing another bracing mouthful of sherry, she said, 'Actually I need your assistance on a scientific matter.'

Her announcement was met by three completely blank expressions. 'We know nothing about such things,' Emily said after taking a dainty bite of biscuit. 'You should ask Hubert.'

Sammie prayed her embarrassment didn't show. 'The topic is one I'm afraid I cannot discuss with a… man.'

Hermione frowned. 'Then perhaps Mama could help you.'

Sammie somehow managed not to wince at the suggestion. 'I don't think so. You know how excitable Mama is, and I fear she would misinterpret the meaning behind my questions.'

'You may ask us anything,' Lucille said with an encouraging smile.

'Excellent. I need to know how one goes about preventing pregnancy.'

Three completely slack-jawed, bug-eyed expressions met her announcement. Her heart sank. Botheration. Did her sisters not know? But surely they must, as they were all married. Didn't all married women know such things? The three of them exchanged odd glances, then returned their attention to her. Sammie suddenly felt like a specimen under a microscope.

Lucille took a healthy sip of her sherry. 'I thought you said there was nothing going on…'

Emily gulped her sherry. 'Between you…'

Hermione tossed the remainder of her drink down her throat. 'And the earl.'

Heat rushed through Sammie like wildfire until even the tips of her ears burned. 'There is nothing between us.' Yet. 'My inquiry is strictly to gather information for a scientific experiment I wish to conduct. Of course I realize this is a highly sensitive topic, and I couldn't ask just anyone.'

'It's highly improper to discuss such things with an unmarried woman,' Emily said with a frown, her words slightly slurred.

'Yes,' agreed Hermione. 'What sort of experiment would require such information?'

Adopting the monotone she knew bored her sisters to tears, she stated, 'I wish to conduct a comparative study of the reproductive cycles of several species, among them frogs, snakes, and mice, as they relate to humans.' As if on cue, at the mention of frogs, snakes, and mice, her sisters immediately looked as if they'd all bitten into the same sour lemon. Pretending to warm to her subject, she continued. 'Take for instance, the snake. After it sheds its skin-'

'Fascinating stuff, Sammie,' Lucille broke in quickly, 'but it's not necessary to go into detail.' She shoved the platter of biscuits at Sammie.

Sammie accepted a sweet, and swallowed her guilt at manipulating her sisters in such a shameful manner.

Emily cleared her throat, then imparted in an undertone, 'Well, so long as it's for science, I heard that some women wash themselves you know where with vinegar afterwards.'

Sammie stared at her in stunned surprise. Finding her voice, she murmured, 'Is that so? And, er, why would they do that?'

'To wash away the you know what.' Emily's face turned crimson, and she quickly reached for another biscuit.

Fascinated, Sammie opened her mouth to question Emily further, but Lucille interjected, 'Well, I heard…' She paused, glancing quickly around the room as if to ensure no one had