Whirlwind Wedding

was the answer to all his dreams. Dreams he hadn't even known he had.

Instead she'd turned out to be his worst nightmare.

Elizabeth stared numbly at the door Austin had just closed and listened to the lock fall into place with a click that echoed in her mind like a death knell.

Just as she wondered if she'd ever feel anything again, pain ripped through her, exploding everywhere, searing her very skin. Clapping her hands over her mouth to contain a cry of anguish, she sank to her knees on the floor.

Never, ever, would she forget the look on his face, the gentle tenderness her words had turned into bitterness; the warmth changed into icy indifference; the caring into loathing.

Dear God she loved him so much. So much that she couldn't bear to give him a child who would die. She'd never make him understand that he would blame himself for their daughter's death, and that his guilt and anguish would destroy him. That he would never recover.

She'd paid with her soul to offer him his freedom. But the cost to her did not matter. An honorable man like Austin would balk at ending their union, would have consigned himself to enduring a lifetime with her and a childless marriage. A celibate marriage. He deserved happiness, a proper wife, children to love. She would have said anything to convince him. And she had.

A bitter laugh erupted from her throat as she recalled her words. I fancied being a duchess… I cannot have children with you… but I could with someone else. It was my child with you who died.

Those lies had cost her everything. The man she loved. Children. She could never, would never, be with any other man. She'd nearly choked on the words I fancied being a duchess. She'd said them as a last resort, when it became clear that he wasn't going to accept her decision unless she extinguished every bit of caring he had for her. And now he believed her to be nothing more than a scheming fortune hunter and a liar. The effort of keeping her anguish hidden, of making him believe she'd wanted a title, wanted a life without him, had nearly killed her.

But then he'd made it so much worse with his declaration of love. I love you, Elizabeth. She couldn't contain the tortured sob that rose from her chest. How much more pain could she bear before she simply shattered? To have longed for the precious gift of his love, to have been given that gift, then to have had to destroy it… to see that love fade from his eyes, replaced by hurt, then anger and disgust… Dear God how was she going to survive this?

And what if it was all for naught?

What if she were already pregnant?

Chapter 19

Elizabeth snipped fragrant lilac blooms from a leafy bush along the perimeter of the formal garden at Wesley Manor, the country estate just outside London that had been her home for the past three weeks. She tried to concentrate on the task at hand so as not to cut her fingers, but it was nearly impossible.

Three weeks had passed since her confrontation with Austin.

Three weeks since he'd sent her here, sent her away from him with nothing more than a terse note: You will send a message immediately should you see something or when you know if yo 're with child.

But after three weeks she hadn't had a single vision… hadn't felt anything but heartache. And she still didn't know if she was with child. Every night she lay in her lonely bed, filled with anxiety, her hands resting on her stomach, trying to sense if a child grew within her, but all she saw was darkness. Unrelenting darkness.

These had been the longest, loneliest three weeks of her life.

Yet the alternative, living in the same house as Austin, facing him every day, trying to hide her misery and live the lie she'd created would have proven impossible. She was much better off here.

Even so, the anguish that was her constant companion showed no signs of abating. She tried to keep herself busy, to keep her thoughts occupied so as not to torture herself wondering what he was doing. Or whom he was doing it with.

But no matter how many flowers she picked how much lilac water she distilled how many hours she spent reading or roaming the grounds, nothing eased the ache in her heart. She tried to console herself with the knowledge that her actions had spared Austin the torment of losing a child and the emptiness of a cold marriage bed but nothing could erase the agony that clawed at her every time she pictured his face.

A memory of him filled her mind and turned her blood cold. Him staring at her, as he had in those final moments, with loathing in his eyes.

Hot tears spilled from her eyes and she impatiently wiped at them with her gloved fingers. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't cry today. How long would it take before she could make it through an entire day without crying? She almost laughed. Dear God how long before she could make it through an entire hour without crying?

'There you are,' came Robert's jolly voice from behind her. 'Caroline and I had nearly given you up for lost.'

Dismay filled her and she quickly swiped at her eyes. Adopting what she hoped was a cheerful expression, she turned and smiled at her approaching brother-in-law.

Robert saw her face and his footsteps nearly faltered. By damn, she'd been crying again. In spite of her smile, there was no hiding the red-rimmed eyes that spoke so eloquently of sleepless nights and profound sadness.

A spurt of anger shot through him. What the devil was wrong with his brother? Couldn't Austin see how miserable she was? No, of course he couldn't-he was in London. Three weeks ago, Austin had asked him to accompany Elizabeth, Caroline, and their mother to Wesley Manor, explaining that he didn't want them to return to Bradford Hall until the case of the Runner's death was solved.

But Robert knew something was seriously wrong between his brother and Elizabeth. He'd visited Austin yesterday, and based on their time together, Robert knew his brother was just as miserable as Elizabeth, if not more so. He'd never seen Austin in such a holy foul mood.

As for Elizabeth, he'd simply never encountered such a dispirited brokenhearted individual as his sister-in-law. She reminded him of a lovely flower that someone had forgotten to water, so it simply wilted and withered away. Well, he'd had enough of it. Whatever was keeping Austin and Elizabeth apart was about to end.

Pretending he didn't see the tears still shimmering in her eyes, he made her an exaggerated formal bow. 'How lovely you look, Elizabeth.' Without giving her a chance to reply, he slipped her hand through his elbow and propelled her down the path. 'We must hurry, the coach is leaving in'-he quickly calculated how much time Caroline and his mother would need to pack their things-'two hours.' He knew both women would be frantic when he told them, but desperate times called for drastic measures. 'We don't want to hold up the party.'

'Coach? Party? What are you talking about?'

'Why, our excursion to London. Did Caroline not tell you?'

He glanced at her and saw she'd visibly paled. 'No. I… I do not wish to go to London.'

'Pshaw. Of course you do. Too many solitary days spent in the country is stifling. We'll attend the theater, go to the shops, visit the museums-'

'Robert.' She halted, then pulled her hand from his arm.

'Yes?'

'Although I appreciate the invitation, I'm afraid I cannot join you. I hope you enjoy yourself.'

He wondered if she had any idea how heartbreaking her palpable sadness was. And he guessed why she didn't want to go. His idiot of a brother.

Heaving a sigh, he shook his head. 'A pity you won't join us. That big, empty town house certainly won't seem the same without you.'

She frowned. 'Empty?'