Who Will Take This Man?

guests to whom you must now pay attention.” She lowered her gaze for several seconds, then looked back up at him with an expression that nearly stilled his heart. “Please.”

That single, softly spoken plea, combined with the knowing, imploring look in her eyes, told him that more lay behind her request than simply duty to his other guests. Did she find being this close to him as distracting and unnerving as he found her nearness? Was she suffering the same discomfort and longings as he?

Bloody hell, he certainly hoped so. He hated to suffer alone.

But neither could he ignore her request. There were duties he needed to perform for the duration of this party. But this party would eventually end…

With a resigned nod, he steered them toward the punch bowl.

“You must tell us, Lord Greybourne, what you think about”-Lady Emily’s voice dropped to a whisper-“you know what.”

Philip stared at her, certain he’d misunderstood. “I beg your pardon?”

“Oh, yes, do tell us,” urged Lady Henrietta, with a flirtatious giggle. “Everyone is afraid to talk about you know what, but we understand that you harbor no such fear.”

Philip looked at their expectant faces and inwardly shook his head in stunned disbelief that two such innocent- looking creatures were asking him to discuss sex. “I’m afraid it’s not proper for me to do so.” He swallowed a laugh at how prim he sounded. Wouldn’t Meredith be proud of him?

“We promise we won’t tell,” vowed Lady Emily.

“Not a word. Ever,” seconded Lady Henrietta.

Understanding suddenly dawned. “You want my opinion as an antiquarian?”

The young ladies exchanged a baffled look, then said in unison, “Yes.”

Well, it probably wasn’t strictly proper, but at least these two showed some interest in his study of ancient cultures. Clearing his throat, he began, “The male phallus was frequently depicted in hieroglyphs as a symbol for male virility.”

Lady Emily’s eyes widened to saucers. Lady Henrietta’s mouth dropped open.

Warming to his subject, he continued, “The erect penis, especially, was often used in ancient drawings. While in Egypt I discovered some particularly fine examples-”

“Is everything all right?” asked Meredith, joining the group.

Before he could reply, Lady Emily said in a strained voice, “I need to sit down for a moment.”

“I do, as well,” whispered Lady Henrietta. “Please excuse us.” Arm in arm, the two young women beat a hasty retreat.

“Good heavens, what did you say to them?” Meredith whispered.

“Damned if I know. They asked for my opinion regarding ancient sexual customs-”

“What?”

“I was as surprised as you, believe me, but they insisted. Wanted my opinion as an antiquarian.”

“They actually asked for your opinion about… ”-she cast a furtive glance around, then lowered her voice- “about that? What exactly did they say?”

“They asked what I thought about you know what. I’d barely begun my explanation, which was purely scientific in nature, I assure you, when you arrived.”

Her eyes widened and all the color leached from her face. “Dear God. They must have been referring to Lord Pickerill’s upcoming surprise birthday party.”

He said the only word that came to mind. “Huh?”

“Lord Pickerill’s party. Lady Pickerill has been planning it for months and it’s the latest on dit- besides you. In the hopes of keeping the plans secret from Lord Pickerill, the soiree is being referred to by everyone as you know what. ”

Annoyance skittered through him. “Well, that is not what you know what means. You know what refers to sexual matters. At least it did when I left England ten years ago. Who in God’s name is making these bloody rules?”

Her eyes all but spewed smoke. “The more pertinent question is, what would possess you to discuss such a topic with proper young ladies?”

“You told me to mingle. So I mingled. And you’re still not happy. Has anyone ever told you that you’re very difficult to please?”

“I prefer to call it simply expecting decorous behavior-”

“I’m certain you do.”

“-which unfortunately seems beyond you a good portion of the time.”

“Well, since I seem to have committed such an undecorous faux pas, we can only be grateful that you happened along when you did. Otherwise I no doubt would have shown them the sketches I’d drawn of the hieroglyphs I was discussing.”

“Yes, we can only be grateful.” She drew a breath. “All right, remain calm-”

“I am perfectly calm. You, however, may require a dose of laudanum.”

She shot him a glare clearly intended to incinerate him where he stood. “There must be some way to cast a positive light upon this. If not, dear God, I can see the headline in The Times: Cursed, Impotent Viscount Caught Showing Indecent Sketches to Ladies of the Ton. ”

He glared right back at her. “The sketches depict ancient glyphs and are not indecent, nor did I even show them to the young ladies. And for the last damn time, I am not impotent.”

Although she clearly recognized his anger, she didn’t step back. Rather, she lifted her chin another notch. “Fine. But what we need to concentrate on now is fixing this situation before Lady Emily’s and Lady Henrietta’s mouths run amok and ruin everything. Our best recourse is for you to squelch any rumors before they start, and the best way to do that is with flattery. Lots of flattery. Talk your way around the room, commenting on how both young ladies are so very intelligent and their conversation so stimulating. Applaud their curious natures.” She raised her brows. “Do you think you can do that?”

“I suppose, although I fear it will prove a strain to think of lots of flattering things to say about those two nincom-”

“Lord Greybourne. You will recall that the purpose of this evening is to find you a suitable bride-not to scare off every eligible young woman in the room. Now go undo the damage that you’ve done. And please behave yourself.”

Before he could reply, she glided away, regal as royalty, leaving him gnashing his teeth. He watched her leave the room, her gown swaying against her feminine curves. Damn annoying, dictatorial, autocratic, infuriating woman. A slow smile tugged at his lips. He couldn’t wait until this damn party was over so he could tell her exactly what he thought of her.

With the last of the guests finally gone and his home restored to rights thanks to the army of servants Catherine had engaged and brought from her own home, Philip breathed a sigh of relief. He escorted Catherine down the cobbled walkway to the waiting carriage, followed by Bakari.

“The party was a success,” Catherine said. “Speculation and curiosity about you is rampant.”

“And I gather that is preferable to rumor and innuendo?”

She laughed. “Most assuredly. Um, Miss Chilton-Grizedale apprised me of the”-she coughed delicately into her hand-“you know what situation with Lady Emily and Lady Henrietta.”

“Ah. Well, fear not. Through gobs of insincere flattery I was able to divert a disaster.”

Amusement glittered in her eyes. “According to the rumors I heard, several of the young ladies are ‘cautiously smitten’ with you.”

“How excruciatingly complimentary.”

His desert-dry tone elicited a smile from her. “Considering how dire the circumstances were only days ago, we’ve made good progress. Did any of the young ladies capture your interest?”

“You could perhaps categorize me as cautiously smitten with one of them.”

“Indeed?” Her voice was ripe with interest. “With whom?”

He chucked her lightly under her chin, a childhood gesture he’d never outgrown. “If I told you now, Imp, we’d