CHAPTER 5
Talkeetna, Alaska
Payton turned onto the gravel road that led to his sister’s front door, his mind working overtime on what he’d say to a mother whose only child was missing. He drove through a stand of evergreen trees, with the sound of stone crunching under his tires filling the cab of his truck. He was resisting the urge to gun the accelerator. Kicking up rocks and riding in like the cavalry would do nothing for Susannah’s frayed nerves. Over the years, he had learned that his sister needed his calm reassurance, no matter how he felt inside.
Joe rode next to him in the front seat, not saying a word over the last few miles. Having him along gave Payton a sense of strength, one he could pretend for his sister’s sake. And the man understood he needed time to think. But even now, every little noise plucked at his resolve and played on his mind like an annoying guitar string off key and out of sync, grating on his nerves. Even the quiet patter of drizzle on his windshield made him on edge as it outpaced the steady thump of his wiper blades. He had a bad feeling. And no amount of macho bullshit or testosterone overload would make it go away.
But for Susannah’s sake, he had to put on his game face.
Up ahead, his sister’s house looked stone cold. The curtains were drawn and the place looked empty, but he knew better. Susannah would be inside, waiting for him to find the elixir that would cure her misery and bring Nikki back.
“You’re not in this alone.” Joe’s voice came when he needed it most.
Payton nodded. Never one to mince words, his friend always knew how to slice through the clutter and make each word count. He parked the truck and took a deep breath, unable to take his eyes off his sister’s door.
“Deja vu sucks, Joe.” He caught the movement of a curtain from inside. “And I’m not sure I can be the rock she needs this time. If something happens to Nikki—”
“Don’t borrow trouble, Payton.”
“Hell, who needs to borrow it?” He pinched the bridge of his nose to fend off a welling headache, then raked a hand through the blond hair that had fallen into his eyes. “Trouble gets off on kicking me in the ass. I got no say.”
Joe fortified him with a hand on his shoulder. Susannah opened the front door wearing a bathrobe and a nightgown. She waited for him to come inside, her face red and puffy, glistening with tears. But as Payton got out of the truck, any resolve he’d had drained from him like sand through his fingers.
When he crossed the threshold, Susannah collapsed into his arms. He held her tight, soothing her with whatever came to mind, whispering lame reassurances in her ear.
“This can’t be happening, Payton. I think I’ve lost her this time.” His sister sobbed harder now, her body trembling. “Maybe I lost her a long time ago. I just don’t know anymore.”
Joe caught his eye. And he understood the man, without so much as a word spoken between them. Getting his sister to focus might make all the difference.
“Catch us up to speed, sis. What happened?”
She pulled away, wiping her nose with a tissue. That’s when he smelled the liquor on her breath. Alcohol had become the weapon of choice in his family, when self-flagellation beat the alternative of facing the truth. His friend must have smelled the liquor too.
“I’ll make us some coffee.” Joe nudged his head toward the sofa, directing Payton to get Susannah off her feet.
With his arm around her shoulder, Payton walked her to the living room as she talked, rehashing it all in her head.
“You don’t know how it’s been with that girl. Communicating with her these days is like talking to a stone. If I get any conversation at all, it comes in one-word mumbles with that annoying roll of her eyes. But you wanna know the worst thing? Whenever I saw her resentment, I’d blow a gasket.” She gulped air, taking a breath hindered by a sob. “I’d see myself lose control and I couldn’t stop it from happening, Payton.”
The bitterness in her voice had melted away, transformed by a wave of prevailing doubt as he helped her to the couch and eased her down.
“It’s been playing over and over in my head like some continuous loop that I can’t stop. Damn it, how did it come to this? You don’t know how much it hurts to know your daughter hates you, to be rejected by your own kid. God, I suck as a mother.”
“She doesn’t hate you, Susannah.” Kneeling at her feet, he wiped the tears from her cheeks. With his voice steady and calm, he added, “The double shot of raging hormones and the strong Archer stubborn streak are hard to overcome. But Nikki loves you. I know she does.”
In the way he always preferred to remember it—in hindsight filtered through love and loss—he and his sister never went through the teen war zone with their parents. A part of him wished they had. That would’ve meant his mom and dad hadn’t died in that blasted plane crash just as they’d hit those difficult times. Teen angst and the drama of rebellion seemed like such a small price to pay to have them longer. The stark reality of their death forced him to grow up way too fast. And after the shambles he made of his life, he was pretty damned sure he never got it right.
“When did you notice her missing?” he asked.
“This morning.” Fresh tears mixed with a powerful guilt. “But her bed wasn’t slept in and she took clothes with her, more than she did the last time. And a duffel bag is missing too. I think she left last night.” She looked into his eyes. “I’m scared, Payton. Really scared.”
“Stay with me, honey. For Nikki’s sake.” He gripped her by the shoulders. “You said she left a note. What did it say? Do the state troopers have it?”
She nodded. “Yeah, they’ve got it, but it didn’t say much. Only that she left on purpose. Said she’d call when she got where she was going.” She wrung her hands, her knuckles drained of color. “I can’t get my head wrapped around this, Payton. Nikki did it for real this time. She really did it.”
Disoriented, she wiped her face with a sleeve from her bathrobe. Smudges of mascara left dark circles under her eyes, and her skin was covered with red blotches.
“I need a drink.” She grabbed for the armrest, trying to stand, but Payton stopped her.
“Joe’s got coffee coming, honey. Remember?”
“It’s almost done,” Joe called out from the kitchen. Payton knew he’d been listening.
“You said she met someone off the Internet. Why do you think that, Susannah?”
“I know what goes on, Payton.” His sister slouched back but kept a grip on his arm. “All those secret codes. She didn’t want me to know.”
“What are you talking about? What codes?”
“I’ll show you.”
She struggled to get off the sofa. Payton helped pull her up, then followed her to the stairs. He kept a hand to her back so she wouldn’t fall. Susannah had more than a few drinks, but who was he to judge? Suffering a hangover, he had no right to say anything. When they got to Nikki’s room, she moved to the desk and grabbed a stack of papers by the computer.
“See? She’s been talking in codes.” She choked back the emotion of her daughter’s betrayal. “She didn’t want me to know. She did all this to blindside me.”
Nikki had run away before, staying at a friend’s house in town. She wanted to hurt her mother and had succeeded in a big way until Susannah took to spying on her. She found chats on Instant Messenger where her daughter had made arrangements to escape maternal oppression. She tracked Nikki down and forced her to come home that time, erecting a wall between them. Trust on both sides had decayed, a complete breach of faith.
When Payton looked at the printed pages Susannah gave him, he saw where his niece had thwarted any potential for her mother’s espionage attempts. This time she meant to disappear for real.
“This looks as cryptic as one of my old playbooks,” he muttered, staring at one of the pages. “Where did you get these?”
Joe had followed them upstairs. Payton handed him the pages, sharing an apprehensive look. When he turned back to Susannah, she looked sick.
