stepping-stone to creating a new order of peace and greatness for mankind. And you will serve as something very important, Percival.' He stabbed a finger at him. 'You're going to set an example for Arthur. So he won't get distracted.'
'Distracted? By what?'
'There are,' Merlin said with a sigh, 'other aspects of the human condition which are eternally recreated. One such is evil, although if its personification exists reincarnated in this time, I have yet to find it. That worries me. But another aspect has already manifested itself.
And poses a threat.'
'What would that be?'
With barely a trace of bitterness, Merlin said, 'The eternal ability of the human race to make a muddle of the best laid plans. A shapely monkey wrench has entered the works, and Arthur has cheerfully put it into the toolbox.' He shook his head in wonderment. 'Sometimes I think there's just no understanding that man, no matter how many centuries I know him.'
Chaptre the Tenth
Arthur was in tremendous spirits when he came into the office the next morning. 'Good morning, Gladys!' he said cheerfully to the receptionist.
She looked up at him with less than a kindly expression. 'I can't stand it.'
'Gladys, my sweet, nothing is going to dampen my mood. Not even you.' He leaned over her desk and whispered con-spiratorially, 'But exactly what is it that you can't stand, hmmm?'
'First you have those two drug-addicted freaks out beating the drums for you-'
'Are you referring to Groucho and Chico, two of my most dedicated helpmates?' he asked archly.
'Right, the freaks. And then you hire that shrinking violet to be your personal secretary-'
'I heard that!' shouted an enraged Gwen, storming out of the alcove where her desk was situated. Her breast was heaving furiously in righteous indignation as she spat out, 'Look, Gladys, you've been on my case since Day One. And if you're going to talk about me behind my back, the least you could do is do it when I'm not right around the corner.' She turned on Arthur and pointed an angry finger at the receptionist. 'Why is she such a shrew anyway?'
Arthur tilted his head and regarded her with a questioning stare. 'I will answer your question, Gwen, if you will answer mine.'
'What? What are you-'
'Gladys acts like a shrew because Gladys is a shrew,' Arthur said reasonably. 'We needed an immediate office worker, so Merlin transformed her. But the problem is that you can change a creature's basic appearance, but you can never change the basic nature of that creature. Once a shrew, always a shrew. Right, Gladys?'
Gladys glared at him and growled deep in her throat. Arthur smiled and turned back to Gwen. 'Now my question-why are you wearing sunglasses?'
'What?' Gwen touched the shades that perched on her nose, obscuring her eyes. 'Oh, right.
I felt like it. It's sunny out.'
'Now why,' said Arthur slowly, 'do I have trouble believing that?'
Gwen laughed unpleasantly. 'What, I'm supposed to believe you, with that cock and bull story about changing rodents into people? Get real, Arthur.'
She started to turn, but Arthur abruptly whirled her around by the shoulder and yanked off the glasses.
'Good lord,' he said softly.
Gwen's eye was blackened and swollen. And it was clear that it was just beginning to swell-it would be much worse before it got much better.
'Who did this to you?'
'No one. I walked into a door.'
She tried to pull away, but he gripped her firmly by both shoulders. His face was only inches away from hers, and his voice was low and intense. 'Who,' he repeated with forced calm,
'did this to you?'
'I punched myself in the eye.'
'You hit yourself?'
'Yes.'
'In the eye?'
'That's right.'
'Why in God's name would you do that?'
'I was aiming at my nose and I missed.'
The door opened and Merlin marched in, Percy Vale in tow. 'Arthur, we're back!'
Gwen took advantage of Arthur's momentary distraction to pull away from him and dash over to her alcove. Arthur started to follow her but she came flying back, her purse in her hand. She snatched the sunglasses from Arthur's hand and tried to jam them quickly onto her face. She succeeded only in poking herself in her right eye, and she moaned in pain.
'Gwen, for pity's sake-'
'Leave me alone!' she sobbed. 'Don't you understand? I thought you'd be out again today for signatures! I didn't want you to see me like this! Oh, God . . .' and she ran out of the office, wobbling on her high heels.
Sensing what the king was about to do, Merlin said sharply, 'Arthur! Don't you go after her.'
'But Merlin-'
'Wart! Don't do it!' And then he softened his voice. 'Give her time. She's going to have to deal with it herself.'
Arthur was still clearly uncertain, and Merlin cursed inwardly. Never had he known a man of a more decisive, unwinding nature than Arthur-except where it came to women. And this woman, in particular. Remembering how he had resolved to solve this problem, Merlin said quickly, 'Arthur, I'd like you to meet Percy Vale. Percy's the new accountant we were discussing.'
'Oh. Right.' He shook Percy's hand firmly. Percy smiled hesitantly until he realized that Arthur was staring intently at his eyes. 'Is, uh, is something wrong, Mr. Penn?' he asked.
'What? Oh, no, nothing's wrong except . . . well, I could just swear I know you from somewhere.' He looked at Merlin uncertainly. 'Percy Vale, Merlin? Are you sure that-'
'It's coincidence, Arthur. Trust me.' He spread his hands innocently. 'Have I ever lied to you?'
'Probably,' said Arthur reasonably. 'I've just never caught you at it, that's all. Welcome to our little group, Percy.'
'It's a pleasure to be here, sir. I'm sorry if I came at a bad time.'
'Well, one can never know when the inappropriate times are going to occur.'
The phone rang and Gladys promptly picked it up. 'Arthur Penn's office,' she said brightly.
She paused, nodded, then put the phone on hold. 'There's a Mr. Dredd wanting to talk to you,' she said.
Arthur frowned and turned to Merlin. 'Dredd?'
'Yes,' said Gladys. 'Moe Dredd.'
'Modred!' He pointed an accusatory finger at Merlin. 'There is a pattern! There is reincarnation! And she is Guinevere, isn't she?'
'Now Arthur-'
With one quick movement he was standing before Merlin, and with another he was holding the startled wizard in the air by the scruff of the neck. 'It's her, isn't it!'
'Yes! Yes, damn you!' Merlin screeched in a voice filled with fury and fear. 'It's her! But you don't need her, Arthur! She's going to bugger the whole works, just like she did last time!
She's the eternal screwup!'
'I don't care if she's the eternal bloody flame. We belong together!'
'You belong in an asylum!' Merlin's legs pumped furiously. 'Put me down!'
Arthur drew back his arm and flung the boy wizard the length of the office. Merlin slammed into the large sofa and rebounded onto the floor. He lay there, moaning.
Without another word Arthur turned and stormed out of the office.
