buy the ranch. The ranch is as good as gone. There is no more need for blowing up houses or shooting deputies. It is a relief.
Logan has no home. That thought occurs to her too. He has nowhere in particular to go. They are both wanderers now. Somehow that's reassuring.
She sits with her head on his shoulder, saying nothing, waiting together for the coffee to boil.
'We should set off for the mining camp soon,' he says as he gets up. She notices that he isn't using his bad arm at all.
She thinks about the mining camp and how unattractive it sounds as a place to go. She pictures a place full of dirty unshaven men with Humby's attitude to women.
She really disliked the experience of being kidnapped by Humby. She thought she had coped with it well, but now she finds it's left an empty space where her self confidence used to be. She has sat here waiting for Logan to tell them where they are going next. She wouldn't have done that when they first met.
She determines to take some control back. She isn't going to let men run her life, to tell her what she can and cannot do. She's not going to stand for that any more. She'll say where they are going and he'll do what she says. If he thinks he can dictate the way things are going to be then he's no better than Humby.
'We're not going to the mining camp,' she says.
'We're not?'
'We're going back into Walkers Creek.'
She waits for a reaction. He hands her some coffee and sits back down. He sits facing the fire and she wants to try to read the reaction on his face. Is he mad at her? Is he just thinking of a way to make her do what he wants after all? If he wants to fight about this, she'll fight him. This is her life and she's not going to give up the reins to anyone.
'Okay.'
'Okay?'
'Sure. I mean, you've thought this through? You know the town better than I do.'
Now she's angry with him for not making her angry with him. Of course she hasn't thought it through. She was expecting him to fight with her, to argue, to justify where he was going and to make it sound better than a sleazy cesspit.
'You seemed pretty sure just now that they haven't been following us.'
He nods, but looks puzzled.
'So,' she's making this up as she goes along, 'we don't have anything to fear from them.'
He doesn't say anything. It's as though he's waiting for her to say something stupid so he can overrule her idea and end up back with the mining camp option by default.
'And anyway, I don't plan to spend the rest of my life being scared of my shadow and watching out for McLaren or whoever. I'd sooner face up to them and stick a bullet in them if I have to.'
'Sounds like you're in the mood for a fight,' he says, laughing.
'I'm serious.' She isn't laughing.
He stands up and throws the dregs of his coffee at the fire.
'You're right,' he says, 'we should stand up for ourselves and running away isn't the answer. We'll go back into town and act like nothing happened. Just breeze in and say hello to folks.'
'Exactly.' That wasn't quite what she had in mind, but then she's not quite sure what she did have in mind.
'I'm joking,' he says, 'you really think we can act like nothing happened?'
'Why not? I can't think of anything that'll annoy them more than to see that we're not troubled by them or what they've done.'
He shakes his head.
'You're crazy. You'll get us killed.'
So she has said the stupid thing that he will use against her and they will end up running away to a miserable life of fear and poverty. She is disappointed that she couldn't think of a better idea than going back to Walkers Creek. She's disappointed that she couldn't think of a decent reason to go back, or a way to do it safely. Why couldn't she just think before opening her mouth?
'No,' he says abruptly, 'you're crazy, but I love that you're crazy. Let's do it.'
They discussed using the trail over the hill to come into the town the back way, but in the end decided that if they were going to hold their heads high in Walkers Creek then they should do it by riding up the main street. They ride their horses noisily over the wooden bridge over the creek.
'I think we should see Mannion first,' she says. 'I need to thank him.'
'He's one of the good guys isn't he? Are you sure we won't be bringing him more trouble than he can handle?'
'You could be right, but I want to know what's been said about me, about the ranch and about you. Mannion is the biggest gossip in town. We need to know what we're up against.'
They tie up the horses outside the shop. The street is busy with people but nobody pays them any mind. They are right, there is no need for sneaking about. That only attracts attention and suspicion. They belong here, they just need to look as though they do.
Looking up the street she tries to pick out faces that she recognizes, to spot the glint of a gun barrel in the sunlight. She feels off-balance with fear and excitement. Anything could happen now. She checks the rifle but leaves it in its scabbard on the saddle. She checks the tiny useless derringer that she's tucked in her belt. It's as though she's standing on a rocky outcrop high above the valley and is trying to see how close to the edge she dares to stand.
They go in.
'I'll be with you in a moment,' Mannion calls from the back of the shop as the front door slams shut.
She looks at Logan, unsure of what to do next. Are they in a hurry? Do they need to get him out front straight away? Should one of them be keeping watch at the front of the store to see what's going on in the street?
Logan is examining the stains on his hat. Then she notices that he's spending more time looking at the street in the mirror than at the hat. He's keeping watch, but pretending not to. She heads to the back of the store.
'It's just a social visit,' she calls out.
'Miss Nixon?' Mannion rushes out from his cupboard and gives her a big hug. 'I've been so worried about you.'
'I'm okay. I can't say the same for the ranch. That's your horse out front. I wanted to return it. I don't know how to thank you for what you did for me.'
'I got away with it.'
She sees the bandage around his hand for the first time. She hurts all the people closest to her.
'Why did they...?' She feels sick at the thought of what they have done to him. 'Who did this?'
'This?' He holds up the bandaged hand. 'This is the work of your homeless friend McLaren.'
The word 'homeless' cuts deep and she's sure he meant it to. He knows, even though she never told him, that the explosion at McLaren's house is her fault. That all this is her fault. They both can see that everyone who tries to help her gets hurt and that is her fault too.
'He burned the ranch house,' she says.
Mannion nods.
'Have you seen him since?'
He shakes his head.
'He hasn't come back. The sheriff went after him with some deputies when he heard what was going on.'
'That's her!' Logan shouts out suddenly and he heads for the door.
'Who?' She runs to see what has bothered him so much.
'The Mexican girl, the one I told you about, that's her.'
'I thought you were making it up, just an excuse to come and find me, like your tall tales about the farm and the dogs.'
Logan laughs. Neither of them has laughed for a while.
