sacrificed as much as you have.”
“You aren’t the only one sorry about their behavior last night. I said and did things I regretted almost the moment they happened. I was irritated with you and reacted unthinkingly.”
“Relationships are fraught with such behavior. It’s perfectly normal.”
“It will not be normal for us, or I want nothing to do with it.”
His stance widened. “What are you saying?”
Slowing in front of him, she eyed him from head to toe. He was dressed for riding in snug doeskin breeches and polished Hessians. The powerful muscles of his thighs and calves were clearly delineated. He crossed his arms, as if in preparation for a confrontation, and his flexing biceps strained the seams of his dark gray coat.
He was the most attractive, sexually alluring man she’d ever crossed paths with.
“I cannot hide how I want you,” she said huskily. “I want to be in your bed even now, despite the fact that it’s the middle of the morning. I want you so badly I burn with it.”
“Eliza.”
“See how you’ve changed me, that I can say such things aloud? But desire alone won’t be enough impetus to wed you. I could insist on an affair instead.” She rounded him again. “I agreed to your proposal because you’ve been honest with me. Although you haven’t revealed much of yourself, what you have shared up to this point has been truthful.”
Jasper caught her arm as she came around. “I’m different with you, as well. I am learning to adjust. You will, too.”
“Not unless you become more than a stranger to me. You once said your past and future are irrelevant. But since then, you’ve asked me to blend your future with mine. To create a joint future.
“The future is shaped by the past.” His throat worked on a hard swallow. “My past will alter your view of me. The risk of you turning away from what I am is too great.”
Eliza cupped his cheek. With every inhale, she smelled the beloved scent of his skin. “What kind of life would we have together, if we continue to do and say things to each other we lament? It’s the worst sort of dishonesty. I’ve seen it before, and I know it ends in sorrow and misery. I don’t want that for you, or for me. I do not want that for
He caught her hand and kissed her palm. “You speak of your parents.”
“There was so much left unsaid between them. Their infatuation brought them together, but it wasn’t strong enough to bear the weight of their facades. They quarreled often and said unkind things. Eventually, apologies were no longer enough to mend the rift between them. How could they be, when they continued to repeat the mistakes they apologized for?” Her fingertips drifted across his firm lips. “If only they’d been honest about themselves and what they needed. Perhaps they could have made each other happy.”
“The moment you walked away from me last night, I regretted my brusqueness. I considered climbing through your bedroom window just to reassure myself that you would still receive me.”
“Would you have revealed the truth to me then?”
Jasper offered a rueful smile. “I doubt it. Surely, the convenience of finding you in bed would have distracted me.”
“How swiftly you tell the truth when it’s not tied to your past.”
He urged her closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Then, he walked away and spoke over his shoulder. “Pull the pins from your hair. I’ll speak for as long as it takes you to let it down completely.”
“What game is this?”
“I intend to learn how to dance with you. We cannot have every lesson delayed by interruptions, despite how pressing they might be. We need a way to measure the time spent.”
“Your pocket watch will not suffice?”
“That isn’t nearly as fun.”
Reaching up with both hands, she obliged. Slowly. Pulling out one pin and carefully lowering her arm to drop it on the floor.
He gave an approving nod, then began to follow the length of the wall. “There are some individuals who lack empathy for others. They are unable to create or sustain emotional connections, and their vision of the world is limited to their own viewpoints.”
“My stepfather was such a person. Chilcott was entirely self-absorbed.”
Jasper’s voice rose to compensate for the growing distance between them. “In addition to that defect of character, Montague is also cursed with aberrant sexual appetites.”
Eliza paused in the act of withdrawing another pin. “How do you know this?”
“I have crossed paths with women who’ve had the misfortune of catching his eye. He prefers unwilling partners and the infliction of pain. My understanding is he cannot perform otherwise.”
“Unwilling…” Her stomach turned at the thought of being forced to share the intimacies of sexual congress with someone who was cruel and malicious. “How does one acquire such deviant tastes?”
“Through the blood, perhaps? Or a defect of the soul.” He shrugged. “Who knows?”
Her hands fell to her sides. She walked toward him with her hair loosened and threatening to fall around her shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier? How could you keep such things from me?”
“When could I have told you?”
“Don’t be coy!”
He altered direction to meet her halfway, his booted steps more silent than her slippered ones. “I would give up a great many things to spare you such sordidness. I knew you were decided against marriage, which made the possibility of your ever learning of Lord Montague’s activities very slim indeed.”
“I would not have met with him yesterday if I’d known!” As she reached him, her hands went to her hips. “And you and I would not have quarreled.”
“I also feared what would happen if he discovered you knew of his darker nature. Your face is so expressive. You will not be able to hide your condemnation, and he’s a desperate man. His good name is all he has left. He cannot afford to have it sullied by gossip.”
Although she didn’t approve of his methods, she hadn’t the heart to argue about his reasoning. He wanted to protect her in every respect. “Do you think he’s the one who has been plaguing me?”
“I wouldn’t put it past him.” Jasper beckoned her closer with a crook of his finger. “He is teetering on the verge of utter ruination. He’s gambled away or sold every non-entailed property, and he does not have the means to support the holdings he has left. His debts are such that he’s being denied credit. Soon, he will have nowhere to turn.”
“And yet you’re considering investing with him?” Eliza stepped into his open arms. “What are you thinking?”
He set his chin atop her head. “I want him ruined. I cannot allow him to find a means of salvation. If feigning interest is required to glean the information I need to thwart him, it’s a small price to pay.”
His tone was so vitriolic, it didn’t sound like Jasper at all. Eliza leaned back to study his features. “Why?”
“Retribution for a…friend.”
Jealousy stung her. “A lover?”
“No.” His hands stroked the length of her spine. “Before you there was sex. You have been my only lover.”
Her fingers straightened his already immaculate cravat. “Will I always be?”
“Are you asking if I’ll be steadfast? Of course.”
“You answer so easily.”
His beautiful mouth curved with amusement. “As if I practiced my response for just such a question? And here I thought we’d established I have yet to tell you a falsehood.”
Eliza looked up at him from beneath her lashes. “I find the thought of another woman enjoying you as I have to be extremely vexing.”
“Vexing,” he repeated, grinning.
“Intolerable,” she amended.
“We certainly cannot have you vexed. Therefore, I must be faithful.”
Unsatisfied by his response, she goaded him. “I shall follow your lead in this aspect of our association, as I
