“Not yet,” I replied.
“Can I come in?”
“Do you really need me to answer that?”
The door opened and he came and stretched out beside me on the bed, “Candace asked me to go with her to her house tonight,” came his soft words in the dark.
I rolled toward him. “I’ll be fine by myself,” I assured him, thinking he was getting ready to leave. I was going to be a nervous wreck instead of fine, but I would never tell him. I’d never been truly alone in my whole life. When I wasn’t with Mom, I was with Bev and Matt, then Micah, and now Ryan; but just me by myself was a scary concept.
“No, I’m not going. I told her maybe another night.”
“Why? And don’t tell me you don’t know if you really care that much about her because I’ve seen the look on your face and it looks a whole lot like someone falling in love.”
“You and Micah waited for marriage, but I don’t know if-”
“Micah didn’t,” I corrected him, “I did. There were other women, plenty of other women I’m assuming, before I came along. I guess I was the only one to say I had to have forever first.”
“I keep asking myself if I can see her as my wife because I don’t want to hurt her; I don’t see it yet.”
“I can’t speak for other women, but I know if you made love to me I’d feel the need to commit my life to you. I think Candace might have the same expectation, so don’t take making love to her lightly.”
“I just want to get to know her better to make sure I want her, not just to be able to finally say I got laid.”
I laughed softly, “Ryan, you just aren’t that kind of guy. Does she know why you want to take this slow? Does she know you’ve never-”
“I’ve left a few hints, but I haven’t come right out and told her.”
“If you don’t tell her she’s going to take this hesitation to mean something else. She’s already worried about you and I going to L.A. together.”
“Yeah, she kind of told me that tonight.”
“If I have to go out there anymore, I’m hiring a pilot. I don’t need to make her jealous.”
“I think that’s ridiculous-I’m not doing anything, I’m just flying you out there and staying a few days.”
“If she left for a few days with another guy would you be worried?”
“That’s not the same.”
“Oh yes it is. You need to realize she feels this way every time you and I are alone. I imagine she’s wondering what we’re doing right at this moment.”
“So you’re saying you would have wanted me to go with her tonight?”
“All I really want is for you to be happy and in love, because I can’t be that person for you-you deserve to be more than a Micah replacement.”
He leaned over and kissed my forehead. “I-I love you, Leese.”
I reached out my hand and rested it softly against his cheek, “More than anything, I want you to be happy.”
“I don’t suppose you consider letting me sleep in here for old time’s sake?”
I laughed and gave him a push, “Not that kind of happy-no, and I hope the next time you are in a bed with someone she rocks your world and doesn’t tell you no.”
He rolled off the bed, his feet hitting the floor with a light thump, “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Ryan.”
Monday morning, after Ryan consumed a half pot of coffee at five a.m., we flew out of Colorado Springs. We touched down at LAX, forty-five minutes before I needed to be in the studio. I considered a rental car, but opted for a taxi since I didn’t know their roads or traffic. Someone at the studio made us reservations at the closest hotel, and we would only have enough time to grab our room key and toss our bags inside before continuing our journey.
Mr. Bollson was the man to greet us as he ushered me back to the waiting stylists. There were two of them because they were going to try to speed the process from four or five hours to under two as he explained that the other contestants would be arriving at noon. Ryan was seated in a comfortable chair with a ringside view as the man and woman worked on me, but it wasn’t long before I saw his eyelids droop and he fell asleep-so much for all that coffee.
Two hours later, I gently touched his arm. Surprise was written all over his face when he saw me.
“Leese?” His hand reached out and gently touched my long brown hair, “Wow, it feels so real?”
“It is real-real human hair anyway. Amazing isn’t it?”
“I didn’t realize how much I missed seeing you like this until now-yeah, pretty amazing.”
It looked like my natural hair and even the color was perfect, but it was definitely fuller.
Mr. Bollson asked us to come out to the studio and have a seat in the audience chairs as more contestants were still arriving. They filed in, several brought companions or friends with them which I know helped Ryan feel a little more at ease.
I recognized some of them; Kitkat was from a reality television modeling show; she made a name for herself by being a total witch to everyone; Shana Weaver was a women’s tennis pro; and then Carrie Wakefield showed. She’d had a short career as a television wrestler; she was loud and crass and known for starting trouble. She immediately began staring at Ryan, and I could tell it was making him uncomfortable.
Nicole Fletcher was a soap opera star and by all accounts a very nice person. The oldest contestant was Dobrey Stewart. I recognized her from all the charity work she received recognition for doing. There were a few other women; some looked familiar to me and some didn’t look familiar at all.
It did surprise me though when a pair of bouncy, blonde twins entered the room and Ryan told me they were play bunnies, Melissa and Melanie Nielsson.
“How do you know who they are? And please don’t tell me you read Playboy.”
A grin lifted the corner of his mouth, “No, but Nate does. He brought one to school and had it in his gym locker. He’s got their centerfold taped inside.”
“Ah! Poor Natasha, I bet she-”
“She bought it for him,” he said with a light laugh.
“You’re lying, Ryan Faultz. There is no way-”
“Honest,” he raised his right hand. “He told me she gave it to him and said that better be the only way he ever sees what a white girl has under her clothes. I don’t think she had a clue he put it in his locker, but he did.”
I just shook my head and leaned back against the chair as more people entered.
I only recognized a handful of the male contestants. Rashad Smith was a professional baseball player, and Sergio Mendez was a motivational speaker, Lexington Overhill was an actor, and one other guy was really familiar, but I couldn’t quite figure out who he was until they called his first name, Sadarius.
“Do you know who he is?” I whispered to Ryan.
“Isn’t he the one who beat up those guys that were robbing a family?”
“Yeah, Sadarius Collins. I think it’s pretty cool that they’ve got him on the show. I hope he can sing.”
“You’re supposed to be here to win this thing, not rooting for the other contestants,” he whispered with a light chuckle.
“I don’t want to win. Matter of fact, I don’t even want to be here, but between you and Don, here I sit.”
“All right,” Don began, quieting everyone, “it’s time to lay out the ground rules and get started.”
For the next hour he covered confidentiality, how the eliminations would work, introduced the judges, and discussed some dos and don’ts on the stage. “We won’t be live for the first four shows, but we will have an audience. The live shows will air on Tuesdays and Thursdays starting the first week in November. The taped shows will be women on Wednesday and men on Friday, and you are expected to be present for the tapings even if your group isn’t performing. We’ll cut three contestants by the end of each taping. You’ll get a two week break and then, after two more tapings, another six will leave until we have twelve contestants. There is another two week break before the live shows begin.”
“You are on camera all the time you are with us, with the exception of the changing area, so be aware that anything you do may make it on television. Keep that in mind, and yes, you will sign a waiver that you can’t sue us if you don’t like how we portray you from your extra clips.
