Boy, this was not going to go as I had hoped, and I began to feel I should withdraw my request before I caused a breakup. “We’re only good friends, Candace. I-”
“No, you’re not,” she stopped me. “You two are in love and I’ve been ignoring that fact ever since he came back here.”
“He loves
“I know he loves me,” she sighed, showing that she was quickly getting exasperated, “I just wish I wasn’t competing with someone like
“I’m sorry I asked him-I’ll tell him-”
“No, you aren’t going to back out of the invitation. He’s really looking forward to going to a big L.A. party and who could blame him? He loves the spotlight-and I hate it. I don’t honestly know how he can stand being with me.”
“He’s not the kind of person to string someone along. You’ve got to stop putting him up on a pedestal and thinking the whole time you don’t deserve him,” I responded with a little sharpness to my voice.
She cut her eyes toward me and I could tell I ticked her off, but I continued, “When he and I went to Pensacola high school, he had the captain of the cheerleading team drooling over him like he was edible. She was gorgeous, fun-loving, and-and a virgin. She wanted him, but he turned her down. Do you think, for one minute, if he wasn’t crazy about you that he would have, under any circumstances, slept with you? Every hot chick on Remake melts when Ryan gets near them-and he’s yours. You are that special person in his life and you need to start feeling that pedestal under your feet a little bit. Start letting him adore you, because sex isn’t the only reason he’s staying.”
She wasn’t answering; she was just watching the road and gripping the wheel. I knew I’d hit what was at the heart of this matter. She was feeling used, but he just wasn’t that type of person.
“You’ve been sleeping together, haven’t you?” she stated as if she hadn’t heard a word I said. “I know you have because whenever you show up in town and I’m either at work or school, he ends up with your scent all over him.”
“You know I don’t fake sleep issues to crawl into a bed with him. If I didn’t have him to…” My voice caught and the burn was beginning in my eyes. “I’d be in the nut house by now,” I said turning my face toward the window. “He’s the last piece of sanity in my life and I’m trying-trying hard, to turn loose of him.”
“Don’t turn him loose, Leese,” she softly replied as her hand reached over and gripped mine. “You’re right. I need to start valuing myself a little bit more. I’m naturally insecure and watching him turn heads doesn’t help. I’m holding on to him so tightly I know I’m about to chase him away.”
I looked over and could see she was on the verge of tears as I squeezed the offered hand.
“That’s why I told him to go with you. I’m the one who needs to turn loose because I’ll never find out if he really loves me if I don’t.” She swallowed hard, “I’m going to try to take a lesson from you and be a friend to him, a real friend and then wait and see what happens.”
“You aren’t planning to move out of the house, are you?”
“No,” she said, eyes getting wide, “I’m hooked like a junkie on him. I’m just going to back off on issues where you’re concerned and let him be himself for a while. I’m tired of making him have to slip around behind my back to be with you. I’ve got to stop trying to control everything about him, and show him a little more trust, a little more honest-to-God love.”
I finally smiled, “You know I think the new and improved you is going to impress the crap out of him.”
“I hope so, but you know what, if it doesn’t and he realizes he’s not happy with me… Well, let’s just say I’m starting to understand I love him enough to want him to be happy, even if it isn’t with me.”
“Wow.”
She finally turned and glanced at me, “What?”
“Now that’s starting to sound like real love.”
She laughed, “You know I have you to thank for that. I mean I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately and I realize there is a certain amount of vulnerability and sacrifice that has to be part of being really in love. If it’s not there, then all I’m doing is trying to be in control of someone else.”
She turned on to my street; I was suddenly so glad she came and picked me up. She was gaining the maturity that I knew Ryan wanted so desperately to see in her, and I wasn’t going to worry about tip-toeing around her emotions any longer-she was growing and he was going to end up so desperately in love with her.
We had a little free time together before he showed up, and I asked if she’d like to play a little dress up while we waited. Candace hardly ever wore make up and she always wore her hair loose and a little unkempt, but I wanted to give her a make-over that would knock his socks off when he arrived. She agreed and the fun began.
I did her make-up and then brushed out her blond hair and made a single French braid down the back, leaving a little loose near each ear. I gave her a pair of my diamond stud earrings and loaned her a soft cotton tank and crisp white over-shirt. She couldn’t button the shirt because she was chestier than me, but that was okay, it looked great unbuttoned. She kept her jeans, because I was a zero and she was a four. It didn’t matter though; she looked like a model with her pouty pink, lip-glossed mouth and lightly blushed cheeks. It was an hour later when he finally showed. His reaction was perfect. He was all smiles and couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of her.
We made our plans to leave out Saturday afternoon. Then Candace surprised us both when she told Ryan she’d head back to the house if he wanted to help me get some rest.
“I know you probably won’t sleep tonight,” she said turning to me, “but I bet he could help you get at least six or seven hours in before he comes home tonight.”
Ryan’s mouth was open, but nothing was coming out.
“Would you mind?” I asked, turning to him.
“N-no, but…”
Candace went up on her tip toes and kissed him lightly and said she’d see him at home by nine. She was walking away when he turned and looked at me like he didn’t know what to do. I mouthed for him to walk her outside and motioned him to follow.
“Let-let me walk you out to the car,” he stated and then sprinted to catch up to her.
I could see the smile spread across her face.
When he came back inside, he wanted to know one thing, “What did you do to my girlfriend?”
“Other than a little makeup, I didn’t do anything. She is just growing up-and somehow I think you’re going to like the grown-up version.”
“Damn right. I can’t wait to get home now-at least I know it won’t be a fight waiting to happen. But you told her about us sleeping together?” he seemed genuinely surprised.
“No, actually she has apparently known all along and was tired of making us think we were sneaking around. She’s very special when you peel off the hard outer layer.”
He got a certain kind of dreamy quality to his eyes, “Yeah, she is.”
“Are you sure you even want to stay?” I needed my relaxer, but I wasn’t going to hold him back if he wanted to go.
“No, I think the anticipation will do me good. Come on, baby girl, let’s get cozy.”
Candace was one lucky woman.
I don’t think he slept too much; he had his mind on other things, but I got a relaxed several hours tucked safely in his warm arms.
Saturday afternoon he arrived and he was quiet, but all smiles as we drove to the airport.
“So you seem really happy today. I take it you and Candace did not have a fight when you got home.”
“You know this is so weird that I want to tell you about my night, but talking to you about sex with her seems a little-well, inappropriate.”
I figured that was why he was smiling, but I had no intentions of being nosey, “You don’t have to tell me anymore; I get the picture.”
“No, I don’t think you do. Would you be like offended or jealous if we did talk about it?”
I reached over and touched his cheek. He looked so handsome in his basic black tux. “I can handle it, if you can. That’s what having a best friend is for, right? When you’re dying to tell about something that rocked your
