His friend took his reply as an affirmative, and did nothing to disguise his smug look. 'Yeah, I thought so.'
Joel bit back another rude expletive telling Ben exactly where to go, and how to get there in blunt, precise terms.
Ben tipped his head and studied him reflectively. 'Judging by what a prickly S.O.B. you've been lately, I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you fucked things up with her, didn't you?'
If Ben weren't such a good friend, Joel would have hauled off and decked him-as much to release some frustration as to get him to back off of the subject. 'Leave it alone,' he warned.
'Why? Because you can't handle the truth?' Ben laughed, clearly not afraid of Joel and his threat-and he had no reason to be, since they were pretty well matched in strength. 'She's a great girl. You know it. I know it. Hell, even those two womanizers in there know it,' he added, hooking a thumb back toward the club to indicate Jon and Kevin. 'What the hell's holding you back?'
That was the question Joel dreaded, because it dug up issues he'd been running from his entire life. Painful, emotional issues he'd been too afraid to deal with, and instead had walked away from the one woman who'd cared enough to see beyond his reckless, military facade to the real man beneath.
She'd been so fearless in risking her heart for him, and even though he knew he felt the same for her, he hadn't been able to bring himself to say the words, or stay. No, he'd taken the coward's way out and bolted for the door in an attempt to put as much distance as possible between himself and those fears that were all but strangling him.
A man on the outside, always looking in. Truer words had never been spoken. Since his mother's death, keeping himself apart had become an automatic response for him, a way of protecting his emotions as a young boy, then later in life with women and relationships. Holding himself at a distance had even served him well in the military, and had become a way to insulate himself from the pain and anguish that came from being such a vital part of the war, and seeing good men die.
Yet as he looked at Ben, a man he'd served in the war with, a man who he'd trusted with his life and more, Joel realized that the bond he shared with Ben, Jon, Kevin, and even Zach was stronger than the one he had with his own brothers. These men would do anything for him, and vice versa, but for as close as he was with them, the day had come when that comradery and friendship just wasn't enough.
And if he didn't act for himself now, one day each of these men would create lives of their own that would hopefully include wives and children, and he'd be all alone, once again on the outside looking in. Being the confirmed bachelor he'd always sworn he' would be… with absolutely nothing to show for it.
No one to love, cherish, and care for.
And more than anything, he wanted that person to be Lora. She, out of all the women who'd come and gone throughout the years, had understood him like no other, and had given him that sense of belonging he'd craved, but that had eluded him for too long. Until her, there had never been another woman whom he thought was worth putting his heart and emotions on the line for.
He scrubbed a hand along his jaw and silently cursed himself for being such an idiot.
'Don't think about it anymore, Wilde Man, just do it,' Ben urged, as if sensing Joel's hesitation and internal turmoil. 'Beg, grovel, and do whatever it takes, but go get the girl already, before some other guy comes along and realizes what a catch she is.'
The thought of another man so much as touching Lora spurred Joel to action, and he flipped open his cell phone and made the call for a cab, and was promised one would arrive within the next ten minutes. With his decision made, and now anxious to get to Lora as quickly as possible, he knew it would feel like ten hours.
He tucked the unit back onto his waistband and turned back to Ben, realizing his friend was still standing there when he should have been inside tucking dollar bills into G-strings and enjoying a lap dance or two. Yet here he was, keeping Joel company outside where it was cold and not nearly as entertaining. Which made him wonder, once again, what was up with Ben.
'I noticed you weren't all that into those strippers, either,' Joel commented, just to see what kind of reaction he got out of his friend.
The other man shrugged. 'I've got a lot on my mind.'
Joel grinned. 'A woman?'
'Maybe,' Ben replied, not giving anything away.
Joel took that as a yes, but didn't press for details, because he of all people knew and understood how a woman could tie a guy up in a dozen different knots. Instead, he laughed, needing a dose of humor to help him get through the next few hours ahead. 'What a sorry pair we make, huh?'
A slight smile curved Ben's mouth. 'You're in sorrier shape than I am.'
Joel grinned, and couldn't argue the truth. 'Hopefully not for long.'
Chapter Twenty
LORA cleared off her section of tables, more than a little relieved that Sydney had cut her loose for the night first, before any of the other bar waitresses. Even though it was a Saturday evening, the initial early rush had ebbed into a comfortable pace, one that the other employees could easily keep up with. And with one less waitress on board, it meant more tips for them.
She was exhausted, emotionally and physically, and she just wanted to go home and crash for the rest of the night and through tomorrow. Thank God Sunday was her day off from both the bar and spa, and she planned to take advantage of that fact and sleep in until noon. Maybe after she got up, she and Cassie could go and rent a movie, hang out together, and order in a pizza, which would also give Sydney some time alone with Daniel, which she knew her friend always appreciated.
As Lora headed back toward the bar with a tray full of dirty glasses and empty beer bottles, her gaze drifted to the opposite end of the counter and the chair that had become exclusively Daniel's on the weekends. Whenever Sydney worked a Saturday or Sunday, Daniel was always there, if only to support her with his presence and enjoy her seductive dancing on top of the bar, which she did just for him.
At the moment, Sydney was standing at the other side of the bar in front of Daniel, talking and laughing at something he said while she blended a frothy drink. It was so obvious that Daniel adored Sydney despite her tarnished past, and Lora couldn't remember ever seeing her friend so cheerful, upbeat, and genuinely content with her life. Not to mention being a much calmer and more understanding mother to Cassie. And Daniel was a huge part of the reason for all those positive changes, she knew.
But for as much as Lora was thrilled for Sydney, because she deserved every bit of happiness that had come her way, there were times when she experienced a pang of envy, too, because she could have had the same kind of close, intimate relationship with Joel if he'd just given them a chance.
Sighing, she sidled up to the bar and unloaded the glasses from her tray. It had been three long, lonely weeks since Joel had packed his bags and walked out of her life after she'd put her heart on the line for him, and while the saying went 'time heals all wounds,' she was pretty sure this was one ache that would take a lifetime to mend.
A few days after Joel had left her, she'd received a package from Wilde Designs, and was shocked to discover that he'd bought her the 'Midsummer Dream' stained glass design she'd fallen in love with. He'd included a short note with the gift:
The message had been too brief and impersonal, and it only served to cement the fact that he'd shut down his emotions when it came to her, just like he had with everything else in his life. The realization hurt deeply, and she only wished that work, and lots of it, would take away or at least dull the pain. But so far, no such luck.
After wiping down her tray and putting it on a shelf behind the bar, she went and retrieved her coat and purse, then said good night to Sydney and Daniel and headed out the front door to go to her car. Except as she walked outside into the cool night air, she came to an abrupt stop when she caught sight of Joel, who was leaning casually against his big black motorcycle, dressed in his signature black jeans, T-shirt, and leather jacket.
Her breath seemed to leave her lungs in a whoosh. With his short hair mussed and his arms crossed loosely over his broad chest, he looked gorgeous and sexier than even she remembered. He watched her intently with those dark blue eyes that had the ability to make her melt, and her heart started pounding hard and fast in her
