Heaven's Gift aka Kiss of an Angel

Business, Rafferty, he reminded himself. Walking to the side of her bed, he braced his shoulder against the wall, silently vowing he wouldn't touch her again.

He cleared his throat of the thick need gathering there. 'We need to talk about what happened earlier.'

She tensed but didn't look up at him. Instead, her pencil increased in tempo-quick, short, abrupt strokes slashing across the page. 'I'd rather not.'

He leaned forward slightly to get a look at what she was drawing but she held the pad at such an angle that he couldn't make out the sketch. 'I'm not giving you a choice, Caitlan. I didn't protect you.'

Finally, she glanced at him, confusion darkening her eyes. 'Protect me?'

Damn. She couldn't be that innocent! 'Yeah, I didn't use a condom, so what I want to know is if you're on some kind of birth control. The last thing I want is for you to end up pregnant. I don't think you'd want that either.'

She blushed at his bluntness and averted her gaze back to her pad. 'Don't worry about it, J.T.,' she said quietly.

A shaft of white-hot jealousy lanced through him when he thought of her on contraceptives for some other man. He should have let the subject drop, but a possessiveness he had no right to feel provoked him into pressing for more answers. 'So you're on some form of birth control then?'

His tenacity earned him a sharp look from her. Then a raw pain flickered in the depth of her eyes. 'No. I can't get pregnant.'

Shock rippled through J.T. Her confession momentarily stunned him speechless. When he recovered he silently berated himself for being so callous. 'I'm sorry, Caitlan. I didn't mean to be so insensitive. It's just that…' He shoved his fingers through his shower-damp hair, now wishing he'd never broached this subject with her. 'It's just that after what happened with Stacey I don't care to make the same mistake twice.'

'I understand,' she said softly, flipping her sketch pad closed. 'But there's nothing for you to worry about.'

He should have been relieved by her reassurance, but the sadness lingering in her gaze touched a chord within him. She wanted children, he realized, but for some reason couldn't have them. The thought made him ache for her.

She opened the nightstand drawer and put her pencil and pad inside. 'If you're done, I'd like you to leave so I can get dressed.'

No, he wasn't done. He didn't like being dismissed, and he liked even less the sensation of something still unresolved between them. Unable to get a firm grasp on what that something was, he gave her a curt nod and crossed to the door, then let himself out of her bedroom.

As soon as J.T. left, Caitlan sagged against her pillow and closed her eyes, willing away the dull twinge in her chest. Her hand absently strayed to her flat abdomen. A baby. J.T.'s baby. The thought filled her with such a sweet sorrow she wanted to weep for all the things that could never be. Where had all this longing come from?

The answer eluded her.

Freshly showered and changed into a pair of jeans and a pink sweatshirt, Caitlan went downstairs to the kitchen, prepared to face J.T. again. Except he wasn't sitting at his usual spot, eating breakfast and drinking coffee. Dirty breakfast dishes were stacked by the side of the sink, along with a platter of leftover scrambled eggs, sausage, and pancakes. Paula stood by the counter next to the sink tenderizing a roast, engrossed in her task. The clock above the kitchen window read five-thirty in the morning. Where were the men?

Drawing a deep breath for calm, Caitlan pasted on her best smile. 'Good morning, Paula.' Stopping at the coffeepot, she reached into the cupboard and brought down a mug, then filled it with the steaming brew. This morning a double shot of caffeine would be just the ticket.

Paula glanced over her shoulder, smiling brightly. 'Oh, good morning, Caitlan. I didn't hear you come in.' She gave the meat a few more whacks with the mallet. 'J.T. mentioned you were awake and would be down shortly. You're quite an early riser.'

Caitlan shrugged, aware of the other woman's scrutiny. 'Habit, I guess.'

Paula nodded. 'I know how that is. My body has its own natural alarm clock built in too.' She placed the meat into a roasting pan and added peeled carrots and potatoes. 'Sleep well?'

Startled by the question, Caitlan slopped a dollop of cream over the rim of her mug. Grabbing a paper towel, she soaked up the mess. 'Uh, yes. Just fine.' She hadn't slept a wink.

'Didn't seem like J.T. did,' Paula commented, her lips pursed in disapproval. 'That man had the temperament of a provoked bear this morning. Even his usual cup of coffee didn't help.'

Smiling blandly, Caitlan leaned her hip against the counter and took a sip of coffee. I guess I bring out the best in him, she wanted to reply sarcastically but kept her thoughts private.

'We had a long day at Debbie's yesterday, and he was up late last night,' she said as an excuse. Both accounts were true, the latter most likely being J.T.'s reason for being so grouchy. But he'd been the one to follow her into the barn, then seduce her in the early hours of the morning…

And you welcomed every one of his kisses and heated caresses.

'Did you have a nice time?'

Jarred from her intimate thoughts by Paula's question, Caitlan stared at the older woman, wondering if she somehow knew what had transpired between her and J.T. 'You mean at Debbie's?'

'Of course.' Paula frowned at her as she rolled out a slab of dough for biscuits. 'What did you think I meant? Did you go somewhere else I don't know about?'

Just paradise, Caitlan thought. Sheer, unadulterated paradise. But she wasn't about to divulge that information to Paula. 'No, we didn't go anywhere else, and yes, we had a nice time.' Before she could put her foot in her mouth any further, she asked, 'Where's J.T.?'

Paula dusted flour on the rolling pin and continued spreading the dough. 'He left about fifteen minutes ago. You just missed him.'

'He left?' Caitlan echoed. A frisson of alarm shot through her. 'Where did he go?'

Cutting out round discs of dough, Paula placed them on a baking sheet. 'He said he had some things to take care of in town and that he wouldn't be back until this afternoon.'

Caitlan silently reprimanded herself for allowing her emotions to make her remiss in her duties to J.T. While she'd been wallowing in sorrow he'd left. Without her to protect him. 'Did he go by himself?' Urgency tinged her voice, but she couldn't help it.

'He took Kirk with him.' Paula sent her a curious glance. 'You should have told him you wanted to go with him. He probably thought you'd be bored.'

More likely he left without telling me so he wouldn't have to deal with me as a tagalong. Taking a swallow of coffee, she glanced out the window above the sink. A gray dawn was just breaking, and Caitlan could see the bustle of the hands down at the barn as they prepared for the day. She searched for her nemesis but couldn't find him. 'Have you seen Randal this morning?' she asked in a neutral tone.

'No. I usually don't.' Finished with her biscuits, Paula washed her hands and dried them on a terry towel, giving Caitlan a shrewd look. 'Just a word of advice, Caitlan: Stay away from Randal. I don't know what's gotten into that boy lately, but he's a fuse just waiting to be lit.'

Caitlan nodded and rinsed her cup. 'I will.'

'Good.' Paula dismissed the topic as quickly as it had been brought up. Bustling to the pantry, she brought out a container of sugar and two cans of pineapple rings. 'Ever made a pineapple upside-down cake?'

Caitlan smiled. 'No.'

'Well, you're about to learn.' Paula handed her an apron from a kitchen drawer, winking at her conspiratorially. 'It's J.T.'s favorite. Maybe it'll soften him up some.'

Caitlan doubted it, but she was desperate enough to bridge the rift between them to try anything.

Paula left the house a little after two in the afternoon, once Caitlan had convinced her she'd be fine until Laura arrived home from school in an hour or so. The house was spotless, and dinner was ready to pop into the oven later that evening. The sweet, heady fragrance of the cake they'd made permeated the house.

Wandering through the big, quiet ranch house, Caitlan wondered what she could do to keep herself, and her