attempts to steer their conversation to more intimate topics.
The flowers and gifts had stopped, mainly because she'd flat out refused any deliveries. Although Mariah had gone through a few other breakups in her life, she'd never experienced such heartache and sense of loss. She wondered if the pain would ever go away.
Sighing, she wandered into the sunken living room. It boasted a huge circular brick fire pit in the center, surrounded by a casual but very expensive couch and end tables that had cost a small fortune. Floor-to-ceiling windows overlooked a custom-made pool and deck area, and a landscaped backyard with plenty of room for children to run free. Beyond the yard, Grey had a gorgeous view of the ocean. Down the hall at the far end of the house was Grey's office, a spacious room with a fireplace and built-in bookcases covering one wall. The furnishings were dark, the decor a masculine combination of burnished gold and green.
Bored and restless, Mariah climbed the spiral staircase to the second landing, which she'd avoided all afternoon. She knew the size, shape and design of each room, having been in the house numerous times during its building stage, and then to complete the interior decorating and furnishings. For some reason, today she didn't want to face the intimacy of those rooms and the visions she'd had for one bedroom in particular. She'd put so much of her heart and soul into this house because Grey had encouraged her to, and she'd foolishly believed that someday they might share it. Unfortunately she and Grey had two different concepts of sharing: living together versus marriage.
There were only three rooms on the upper level, a master bedroom, a guest bedroom and a workout room. Avoiding Grey's bedroom, she headed left down the hall and peeked into the room at the far end. A weight set, stationary bike and various pieces of workout equipment dominated the room. An elaborate stereo system had been added, the speakers mounted on the wall in two corners. It was easy to imagine Grey in here, working out before heading to the office in the morning.
Shutting the door on his private gym, she entered the second room and immediately envisioned something different from how it was currently furnished. Instead of a queen-size canopied bed and armoire, she imagined a white-washed crib with a musical mobile and a matching dresser and rocking chair by the window seat. While searching wallpaper samples for this room she'd discovered a whimsical border in soft pastel colors, the design a carousel of plump, adorable zoo animals that would have matched the imagined nursery perfectly. A nursery for her and Grey's children.
A rush of emotion filled her with lost hope. There would be no babies for her and Grey, no days at the park as a family, and no nights in his arms as his lover. That dream had been shattered weeks ago, yet she couldn't let it go, no matter how hard she tried.
She wanted to believe that Grey could love her, that he could cherish her the way her father cherished her mother. That he'd give her babies and love them as much as she would. But he was hurt and scarred by something painful, memories she didn't understand, secrets he refused to share.
'What's the matter? Don't you like the room?'
Mariah visibly jumped and spun around to face the man lounging casually in the doorway, his hands thrust into his khaki slacks. Her gauze skirt floated around her legs, and the bright matching bangles she'd borrowed from Jade jingled on her wrist.
She hadn't expected him home so early. She should have guessed he'd surprise her this way. 'I'd appreciate it if you didn't sneak up on me.'
A lopsided smile graced his lips. 'I jogged up the steps and cleared my throat and that didn't seem to get your attention. I've been standing here for at least three minutes watching you, waiting for you to snap out of your trance.'
'I wasn't in a trance,' she said, smoothing a strand of hair away from her cheek. 'Just deep in thought.'
He looked as though he wanted to laugh, but held his humor in check. 'There's a difference?'
She lifted her chin. 'Yes.'
'Then what had you so deep in thought?'
She couldn't bear to witness how her maternal thoughts would make him shudder. She kept her silly dreams tucked away. 'The house looks absolutely gorgeous.'
'Thanks to your expertise.' He moved into the room and looked around as if seeing it for the first time. Then he looked at her. 'You're everywhere, you do know that, don't you?'
She found it difficult to breathe when he was so near, her every breath filled with the warm, earthy scent of him. 'What do you mean?'
'Everywhere I look I see you.' His intense gaze held hers like twin magnets. 'The wallpaper, the couches, the dining set, this canopied bed. We picked everything out together.'
He was doing it again, twisting her heart into one big knot of wanting and need. She valiantly fought the feeling. 'I presented you with the choices and you made the final decision, Grey.'
'Not on everything,' he said softly, his voice stroking her senses like a physical caress. 'Just my office. All the other rooms I went with your suggestions.'
She hadn't known. The thought both pleased and bothered her. 'Do you regret it?'
His smile was a little sad. Reaching out, he gently rubbed the back of his knuckles over her silky cheek. 'I only regret that you're not here to share it with me.'
She took a step back, dislodging his tender touch. 'Grey-'
'I've never been so lonely before,' he went on, admitting more than she ever thought him capable of. 'I come home from work expecting you to greet me with your wonderful smile, but it never happens. I swear I hear your voice, your laughter, that's how badly I want you here. The last months of the house being built, that's all I thought about, you and me here together. I've never thought of another woman being in my life the way I want you in mine.'
Grey had never been one for flowery speeches, yet this sweet confession touched her on such a deep level a lump formed in the back of her throat. And on the heels of that came a fresh wave of anger that he would manipulate her already shredded emotions. Dammit, she was tired of tears and tired of hurting!
'And you know what
He frowned, the color draining from his face.
'That's right, Grey,' she went on relentlessly, though her heart seemed to shrivel at his reaction. 'I imagined children running through the house and playing in the backyard. Children with your dark hair and my blue eyes. I imagined us sitting at the dining room table as a family and helping our kids with their homework.'
He stared, jaw tight.
No, he definitely didn't want to hear about her dreams, and she couldn't go on without them. 'I guess we both had different perceptions of the future, didn't we?' she whispered, her fury spent.
A low, rough breath left him. 'Yeah, I guess so.'
'Mariah, I'm packed up.' John's voice drifted up the stairs and into the room. 'Let's get a move on.'
She stepped around Grey, intending to leave. When her skirt brushed his pant leg he gently grasped the thin material and tugged, forcing her to stop. Her gaze met his stormy one, and she damned her body for its instantaneous response, and he hadn't even touched her physically.
'Mariah-'
'I've got to go,' she said quickly, pulling her skirt from his loose fist. Reluctantly he uncurled his fingers, looking away as she fled the room.
His blunt curses burned her ears all the way down the spiral staircase.
'YOU'VE GONE OFF the deep end, Nichols,' Grey muttered to himself.
Sinking farther into his Jeep Cherokee's leather seat, he continued to stake out the front of Casual Elegance, waiting for Mariah to emerge so he could execute his rash, last-ditch-effort plan. It was Friday evening, and except for Mariah's champagne BMW, which was parked next to his vehicle, the lot was devoid of cars.
He hadn't talked to her all week, not since the night she'd left his house with her photographer. And every night since, he'd lain in bed and replayed their conversation in his mind, wishing he'd been able to say all the things she wanted to hear. Wishing, too, that he could offer her all the things she yearned for and deserved. Like marriage and children.
