Ready-Made Bride

me!”

She stood and crossed to him, tears shimmering in her eyes. Eyes that wanted to understand him, help him, love him. If only he’d let her.

Standing in front of him, lip trembling and a single tear escaping, she whispered achingly, “It doesn’t have to be this way.”

His jaw hardened. “Dammit, Megan, I don’t want your pity!”

“I’m not crying because I pity you, you big lug,” she said, grabbing a handful of his shirt and giving him a furious shake. “I hurt for you.”

He didn’t touch her, but lord, he wanted to. He wanted to sink his fingers into her silky hair, kiss her lips and wake from this horrible nightmare with her arms around him. But this was living reality, and he wasn’t worth those tears welling in her eyes and trickling over her lashes.

He looked away, anywhere but in those velvet blue eyes that reached into his heart and soul and tugged like nothing he’d ever experienced. He couldn’t respond for the lump in his throat.

“I came into this marriage with very few expectations, Kane,” she said, her voice soft with regret. “I wanted to be a mother for Andrew and I wanted to be your wife. Along the way, I hoped we could come to mean something special to one another. I’d hoped we could share secrets, hopes and fears. I love you, Kane. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

It meant everything to him. Everything he’d ever hoped for and dreamed of but thought he was destined to live his life without. Hadn’t he learned that love wasn’t always enough?

“This doesn’t have to be the end, Kane,” she implored. “If you let it, it can be a new beginning.”

“This is the way it is.” His tone was as gravelly as sandpaper, his heart and mind confused.

“Fine.”

With sickening dread and a withering feeling, Kane watched Megan slip the ring from her left hand and place the gold wedding band on the wrinkled note still on the table. The note he couldn’t read.

She held her head determinedly, but her chin trembled. “When you’re ready to face your illiteracy, and you’re ready to trust me, then we can have a real marriage and be a real family.”

This time, it was Megan who walked away.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“DAD, what does illiterate mean?”

Kane lowered the forkful of scrambled eggs midway to his mouth, grateful that Megan was taking a shower. A slow burning sensation crept from the collar of his work shirt and over his face.

“Why do you want to know?” He winced. Damn, he hadn’t meant to sound so gruff.

Frowning, Andrew pushed his eggs around on his plate. “‘Cause I heard you and Mom fighting because you’re…” He scrunched up his nose, concentrating. “Illiterate.”

Kane squirmed in his seat, chagrined and uneasy that his son had overheard their argument and that he was about to learn his father couldn’t read. He wasn’t about to lie to Andrew. There had already been too many deceptions that had torn this household apart.

“I don’t like it when you guys fight, Dad,” Andrew said before Kane could answer his first question, giving him a brief reprieve.

“I don’t like it, either.” Having Megan emotionally shut him out for the past three days bothered him more than he cared to admit. The irony of their situation struck him, because now he knew exactly how he’d made her feel all those times he’d pushed her away. Isolated. Lonely. Empty. After he had experienced how warm, open and giving his wife could be, her withdrawal was killing him.

He carried her wedding band in his pocket, and there wasn’t an hour that ticked by that he didn’t think about what she’d said or recall how devastated he’d felt when she’d removed the ring. Except he feared he lacked the finesse to patch things up. He feared it was too late for apologies.

He briefly squeezed his eyes shut to ward off the throbbing in his temples. Somehow, he knew an apology wasn’t what Megan was looking for.

“I think Mom feels bad.” Andrew picked at the crumbs on his piece of toast, giving the task more attention than it warranted. “She doesn’t smile half as much anymore, and she always looks like she’s been crying.”

Kane swallowed a gulp of hot coffee, trying to save himself from responding to that observation. What was he supposed to say? “Yeah, son, I’m the one making Megan miserable. I’m the one with more pride than sense.” He inwardly groaned at the truth of that statement.

Even though Megan had pried his deepest, darkest secret from him, not once did she ridicule him, nor had she rejected him, even when he wanted her to so he wouldn’t have to face his own failures, his own shame. The woman was incredible, unwavering in her support even as she walked away from him. When you’re ready to face your illiteracy, and you’re ready to trust me, then we can have a real marriage and be a real family.

She’d put the ball in his court, and he was floundering, grappling to find just the perfect backhand to return the serve. He was scared of screwing up, but most of all, he feared losing Megan.

“So what does that big word mean, Dad?”

They were back to his illiteracy. Drawing a deep breath, he said, “It means I can’t read.” He held what little breath was left in his lungs, waiting for his son to burst out laughing, tease him or slink away in embarrassment

Andrew looked at his father thoughtfully. “Oh,” he said, then brightened marginally. “I could teach you to read.”

His son’s unconditional acceptance relieved him. “I’ll think about that”

Andrew’s support, combined with Megan’s, should have given him enough self-confidence to tackle the world. Yet he couldn’t stop the doubts and the memories of another woman’s rejection.

Megan was nothing like his first wife, his conscience argued. From the moment he’d met her she’d been nothing but giving and understanding, believing in him even though he gave her no reason to.

“I hope you guys make up real soon,” Andrew said, bringing Kane back to their conversation. “I want to see her smile and laugh again. And you, too, Dad.” Tears filled his eyes. “I don’t want you and Megan to be like how it is between you and Grandpa and Grandma Linden.”

Aw, hell. Lately, it seemed he’d caused the people in his life nothing but heartache and tears. Megan was right. He was selfish, thinking only of himself and not the needs of his family. He’d used his illiteracy as an excuse not to confront his past, he realized. He’d kept the rift between him and the Lindens fueled by keeping the truth buried beneath layers of resentment.

The school bus horn blared, and Andrew slid out of his seat, mumbled a goodbye to Kane and pushed out the back door. Kane let him go, unwilling to make his son promises he didn’t know if he could keep.

Sighing deeply, he cleared their dishes from the table, thinking about the woman who’d become his wife. A woman who’d wanted to be his wife. He hadn’t realized how empty and lonely he’d been until he met Megan, hadn’t known a woman’s love could be so good.

He loved her. There was no sense denying the warm, fuzzy emotion wrapped around his heart. And if he loved her, didn’t he owe it to her to do whatever it took to make their marriage work? To shelve his pride for her and give her the trust she’d worked so hard to earn?

His first marriage had ended tragically, and he couldn’t change that. But he had the ability to try to make amends with the Lindens and start fresh, not only for Andrew’s sake, but for the sake of his new marriage.

Because, ultimately, he wasn’t willing to risk losing the best thing that had ever happened to him and his son.

He’d been acting strange all morning.

Megan stole a sideways glance at Kane as they pulled out of Jeff and Karen’s driveway after dropping Andrew off to spend the night. She’d learned from Karen that Kane had made arrangements to pick Andrew up tomorrow, after they attended church services.