wanted to weep. Powerful emotions shook her, and she told herself it was just the aftereffects of the wondrous climax he'd given her. But she didn't completely believe the convenient excuse, because for as satiated as she felt physically, she felt empty deep inside, and restless in a way she'd never before experienced.
Not wanting to analyze the sentiments stealing into her heart and what they meant, she concentrated on the pleasure of Ryan's kiss. Sliding her hands along his shoulders, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed closer to his hard and firmly muscled body. She shivered at the slow, lazy rhythm he set with his lips and tongue, and wondered if he made love in the same exquisite manner.
And just like that, the undeniable ache of wanting him spread through her like a reignited wildfire, from her breasts, to her belly, and settling once again between her thighs. His arousal strained against her still-sensitive flesh, and though he wasn't making any demands, wasn't asking for more than she was willing to give, she suddenly wanted to surrender to the passion and desire he'd merely shown her a glimpse of.
She knew she had no future with Ryan, just a few more weeks until the New Year's Eve party, and then they'd go their separate ways. He knew that as well. So why not enjoy the sensual delights he had to offer without any strings or promises from either one of them? Undoubtedly, the gratification would be mutual, and she'd walk away with no regrets. She'd take with her the glorious keepsake and mindless pleasure of making love to him, which would replace the memory of her one awkward encounter years ago.
Heart pounding, she lifted her lips from his, and with a soft growl of protest, he let her go, though he still held her close, making her feel safe and protected in his embrace. She moved her mouth along his jaw, toward his ear, and before she changed her mind, came to her senses, or lost her nerve, she expressed her greatest need.
'Make love to me, Ryan,' she whispered.
Chapter 7
Jessica's stunning and tempting invitation to make love to her reverberated through Ryan's mind like a seductive litany. Heat rushed to his groin, making him even harder than he'd already been. There wasn't anything he'd love more than to take Jessica to his bed, cover her lithe body with his, and lose himself deep, deep inside her giving warmth. But, he wasn't ready to take that next logical step, for practical reasons-he had no condoms on hand. And that was probably for the best, because he didn't think Jessica was ready either, for emotional reasons.
He craved more than an afternoon of wild, satisfying sex with this woman whom he'd come to care about, wanted more than her surrender to their physical attraction. For the first time in longer than he could remember, he didn't want a casual one-night stand… and he wanted her to demand and expect more, too.
Satiating desires was easy and simple-in the past he'd indulged in mutually pleasurable sex enough times to have affirmed that fact. But there was nothing easy or simple about Jessica, and once the high of physical gratification wore off, there would be emotional repercussions to consider.
And because of that knowledge, he needed her unconditional trust before they made love.
Her face was tucked against his neck, her labored breathing warm across his flesh. He tried not to think about the perfect fit of their position, his throbbing arousal, and how easy it would be to give in to temptation and satisfy them both. Her body remained tense as she waited for his answer to her request.
Very gently, he eased her head back, so she was looking at him. Her skin was flushed from the steam rising off the heated water swirling around them, her expression soft and slumberous from her recent release, her blue eyes hazy. Remembering her initial reluctance to let him give her that form of carnal pleasure, and suspecting he'd been the first to do so, he had a brief urge to gloat, as she'd accused him of doing earlier.
Keeping his triumph to himself for now, he brushed silky strands of hair away from her cheek, and tenderly tucked them behind her ear. 'Jessie… we can't make love. I don't have any condoms.' It was the truth, as well as the gentlest way to turn down her request without wounding her feminine pride.
Surprise registered in her eyes, giving him the impression that she'd expected him to have a stash of prophylactics on hand.
He grinned, and leisurely stroked his palms up her spine to the nape of her neck, enjoying the silky, damp feel of her skin against his fingers. 'Whether you believe it or not, it's been a while since I've been with a woman, and it's not as though I keep a supply in my nightstand.'
A becoming blush stole across her cheeks, giving away her embarrassment. 'Oh.'
Finding the sponge floating on the surface of the churning water, he scooped it up and squeezed the excess liquid along her shoulders, warming her exposed skin and wiping away the smudges of chocolate that remained. She closed her eyes and sighed at the simple luxury.
'And besides, I don't think you're ready to make love.'
Her lashes blinked open, and she stared at him with a combination of confusion, disbelief, and a frustration he understood too well. 'How can you say that after we… after I…'
'Had such an explosive orgasm?' he supplied for her.
Obviously not used to talking about sex, she gave a jerky nod to confirm his statement.
'Yeah, your body is soft and wet and willing,' he agreed, dragging the plush sponge over the swells of her breasts. 'And I could slide real deep inside you right now, this very minute. But I'm not sure you're ready to make love
'In my head?' she asked incredulously. 'I have to be ready for sex in my
'Mentally, yeah. And emotionally.' For once in his adult life, those things mattered to him, and he wasn't about to try and scrutinize his feelings. 'I'm taking a wild shot in the dark here, but I'm guessing that your sexual experience is very limited.'
She averted her gaze self-consciously. 'Gee, was I
'You're very passionate, and sensual, but there's also something incredibly guileless about you when it comes to sex.' Tucking his finger beneath her chin, he brought her gaze back to his. 'How many lovers have you had, Jessie?'
She hesitated, then reluctantly revealed, 'One. Three years ago.'
'And what happened?' he prompted.
'Lane and I had been dating for about a month. I thought there was something more to the relationship, but discovered too late that he was more interested in getting me in bed. And once that happened, he decided that things were getting too serious, too fast for him, and he bailed.'
And judging by the tiny crease above her brow, that relationship, no matter how brief, had left insecure scars.
She took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. 'That one sexual encounter was very unmemorable, and nothing like what you and I… well, what we just did.' He slicked the sponge down her arms, and tried not to puff his chest out too far. 'I'm glad.'
A look of disgust creased her features 'What, that I've only one lover and I'm totally inexperienced?'
'No, that I was the first to give you that kind of pleasure.' His hands found her hips beneath the water, and massaged the rounded curves, dipped lower and cupped her bottom. 'And being inexperienced is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I find it refreshing, and I don't want to take advantage of the fact that you're speaking from the glow of a great orgasm when you ask me to make love to you. I don't want us being together to be a purely physical thing.'
Her brows raised dubiously. 'Ryan… we both know that a real relationship is impossible, that anything long- term isn't going to happen between us. So, maybe we
And that would make him no better than Lane. Even if she didn't realize that, he did. Her words were flippant, a pragmatic shield to protect her heart and emotions, he suspected. And for all her talk of having a brief affair, he didn't believe that she could make love with him while keeping all her vulnerabilities intact
And he wanted her to have no regrets when it happened.
'How can you expect me to make love to you when we haven't even had a first date yet?' He injected an appropriate amount of offense into his voice, but his grin was filled with humor. 'Just what kind of guy do you think I am?'
