But what had made the greatest impact on her was an idle, but profound comment that one of the female attorneys in the firm had made to her while Ryan had been talking to his boss. Having worked in law offices for the past twenty years, the woman found Ryan refreshing as a lawyer. According to her, Ryan was a lawyer who cared about people and catered to his client's needs, rather than focusing on his own personal gains.
And despite her bitter childhood memories, Jessica came to accept on a tentative level that not all lawyers were as cutthroat and merciless as her father's had been. Ryan certainly didn't fit the mold, and she'd been wrong for ever believing he could deliberately hurt someone with selfish intent.
'You did great, Jessie.' He reached across the console and settled his hand on her leg. Though a heavy layer of wool separated her flesh from his fingers, she could feel the supportive squeeze he gave her thigh. 'And I'm very glad you came with me.'
She was glad, too, for purely selfish, personal reasons. Ryan had been so attentive-touching her without reserve, holding her hand, gazing at her with affection-that she'd briefly enjoyed the fantasy of being more than just his date for the evening. But just like Cinderella, by tomorrow morning the fairy tale would be over and reality would return.
She recalled the various comments revolving around her and Ryan that she'd overheard during the course of the evening. 'You do realize, don't you, that your bosses and colleagues think we're an item,' she said.
He transferred his gaze from the road to her. 'Does that bother you?'
'Only because I'll probably never see any of them ever again, and I got the impression that they expect me to be around in the future.' Which she wouldn't be,
He shrugged off her concern. 'I'll handle any questions anyone might ask about our relationship.'
And he'd make it clear that they weren't an item, that she'd just been a date for the evening. The pang of regret she experienced over that thought took her off guard, and she berated herself for being so foolish, for wanting something that was completely impossible with Ryan. And while she'd seen this evening that most of his colleagues juggled a career and a long-term relationship, she knew Ryan's main focus was his commitment to his career. Judging by Haywood and Irwin's enthusiasm toward their young associate, it was obvious that Ryan's goals weren't far from his reach.
You should be proud of Ryan. He's one of our up-and-coming attorneys, and has a very promising future ahead of him at Haywood and Irwin.
Phillip Haywood's praise filtered through Jessica's mind. For as much as Ryan's future goals would consume more time than a relationship or family would permit, she couldn't begrudge him the success he sought, and deserved.
Her fingers slid along the strap of her purse, and she swallowed to relieve the odd pressure that had gathered in her chest. 'Your bosses think very highly of you,' she said, trying to sound optimistic for him.
He grinned, appearing pleased that he'd gained Haywood's approval. 'After six years with the firm, it's nice to get the recognition I worked so hard for. The next couple of years will definitely be interesting as far as advancements go.'
He had his heart set on a promotion to junior partner, which was an admirable goal, as well as one that would entail more work, more hours, and no time to cultivate a strong, lasting relationship. His commitment would be to his job, and maintaining his position within the firm.
Not that that issue mattered to her, she tried to convince herself as she glanced out the side window to the twinkling lights of the city beyond the freeway. After a few minutes of silence passed, she looked back at Ryan's strong profile and summoned the courage to express a question she'd been curious about for a while now. 'What made you decide to be a divorce attorney?'
Now that the interior of the car was warm, he turned down the heater. 'Honestly, it wasn't
She wasn't expecting that response, and found it interesting that he'd settled for a position so different from his primary choice. 'What happened?'
'Before I graduated from law school, I was hired on at Haywood and Irwin as a law clerk until I passed the bar and became an associate. The only opening they had at the time was as a divorce attorney in the family law department, and because I had bills to pay, and Haywood is such a reputable firm, I accepted the position and made the best of it.' He shrugged, and cast a quick glance at her. 'Honestly, now I can't imagine doing anything else.'
The message he relayed with his eyes was unmistakable-he was silently asking her to accept him for who and what he was. And in that moment, she realized somewhere along the way she'd done just that. As much as his choice of career made her too aware of her turbulent childhood, she knew they'd remain friends once the New Year's Eve party was over and they went their separate ways. And despite the sudden ache near the vicinity of her heart, she knew she had no choice but to end this tentative, sensual relationship of theirs… before things became any more emotionally complicated for her.
The Lexus came to a smooth stop, and he shut off the engine, bringing her back to the present. She glanced out the window, expecting to see her complex, and was surprised to find them parked in front of his office building. The lot was empty, and the only source of illumination came from the dim lighting in the lobby.
'What are we doing here?' she asked, curious.
He unsnapped his seat belt and turned toward her. 'I need to pick up a file on a case that's going to court on Monday so I can review a few things over the weekend.' He hesitated a brief moment. 'Do you mind?'
Of course weekend work would consume his extra time. She experienced a twinge of regret she immediately dismissed and shook her head. 'No, go ahead. I'll wait here.'
'I was hoping you'd come with me.' Reaching out, he fingered a strand of her hair, which she was coming to realize was a source of fascination for him. 'I also wanted to show you the fabulous view from my office in the evening.'
Heat seeped through her veins, and a smile tugged at her lips. 'Ahh, I should have known you had ulterior motives.'
He chuckled, and ran his fingers along her cheek. 'Yeah, I'll do just about anything to get you alone and all to myself.'
Unable to resist that sexy smile of his, and what his words implied, she accompanied him up to his office, very aware of just how alone they were in the deserted building.
He turned on the overhead lights and strolled toward his desk. 'Give me a few minutes to find what I need.'
'Sure.'
The room was pleasantly warm, and she took off her heavy coat and hung it on one of the brass hooks by the door. While he sorted through files and paperwork stacked on his desk, she drifted toward a credenza along the wall holding framed photographs.
Passing idle time, she gazed at each one, most of which were group shots. Recognizing Ryan and Natalie in one of the larger gatherings, she picked up the professional portrait to take a closer look at the older couple surrounded by six adults and five young children.
Seeing a striking resemblance between Ryan and the older man in the middle of the photo, she turned the picture toward Ryan and asked, 'Is this your family?'
'Yep.' Setting aside a few file folders, he shrugged out of his jacket, hung it next to hers, and came up beside her. 'There are Mom and Dad in the middle, and you know Natalie, of course,' he said, then went on to point out his two older sisters by name, and their respective husbands and children.
The photo, as simple as it was, encompassed a wealth of emotion Jessica couldn't help but envy. An abundance of affection radiated from everyone's smiles, happiness shone in their eyes, and love was evident in the strength of the familial bond they shared.
A pang of longing struck near her heart, so strong it nearly stole her breath. 'You're very lucky to have such a close-knit family,' she said, her voice a whisper of sound in the quiet room. 'Don't
Ryan recognized the vulnerability that etched Jessica's features and tinged her voice-he'd seen and heard that emotion with some of the women he'd represented in divorce cases. While he'd always managed to remain immune and objective with his clients because he had a job to do, he felt Jessica's pain like a vise around his heart.
