meant it, too.
Obviously not wanting to test Ben's threat, Craig pressed a hand over his wound and slid along the wall to the floor, a defeated, broken man.
IT was nearly two hours later before Christine could finally go home. Soon after Ben shot Craig the police arrived and took him into custody. Statements had to be taken, reports had to be filled out, and because the cops had piqued the curiosity of her friends, she stopped to explain what had happened, and assure them that she was okay.
As soon as she and Ben arrived back at her house, she asked him to wait while she took a shower and changed into something more comfortable. Her legs were sticky from the champagne she'd dropped, and she had a few minor cuts from the shattered glass that she needed to wash. Overall, she just wanted to scrub away the overwhelming unpleasantness of the entire night and start out fresh and clean with Ben.
She no longer needed a bodyguard or a pretend boyfriend. What she wanted now with Ben was the real deal and something she'd never had with any other man before him. A best friend she loved spending time with and could confide her deepest secrets to, knowing they'd be safe with him. A generous lover who complemented her on so many sexual, intimate levels. A committed relationship based on love, respect, and trust.
But it was clear as she walked back into the kitchen and saw his businesslike stance against the far counter, and the impassive look in his eyes, that he'd already retreated from her and any of the feelings that had taken root and blossomed between them in their time together. This distant man in front of her with his emotional walls erected sky-high was not the warm, attentive, accessible man she'd just spent the past three weeks with. Instead, this was a man who was running scared and refused to face his past in order to have a future… with her.
Still, she was determined that he wasn't going to leave tonight without her giving him the two things he needed most in his life-her heart and her unconditional love. Whether he accepted her gift or not was entirely up to him.
With that in mind, she walked toward him and stopped a few feet away. She'd put on a pair of old sweatpants and an equally ancient pullover hoodie for warmth. Her hair was still damp and she'd washed all her makeup off her face in the shower. All traces of the sophisticated woman he was used to seeing were gone, and in her place was the person she was beneath all the exterior trappings: a plain and simple girl who ached to be loved and cared for by this man.
His gaze roamed over her face and came to a stop on the swollen, bluish-purple mark on the right side of her cheek where Craig had hit her, which would eventually match the bruises still on her shoulder and stomach, courtesy of Jason.
Ben gave her a lopsided grin, but didn't reach out and touch her as she wished he would. 'What is it about you that turns men into psychopaths?' he teased, obviously trying to keep things light and easy between them.
'Must be my sparkling personality,' she said with equal amounts of humor. 'But don't worry, as far as I know, there's no more jilted men lurking out there.'
'Good thing.' His expression turned much too serious. 'Are you going to be okay?'
Physically, she knew she'd heal. Emotionally, though, she had a feeling that it was going to take her a very long time to recover from the pain tightening like a vise around her heart.
'I'm fine,' she assured him. 'It'll take more than a shiner or a couple of shots with a paintball gun to do me in. I'm not all fluff, you know.'
A low, rough rumble of laughter escaped him. 'Yeah, you're one tough cookie.'
She realized how strong she'd become over the past few weeks-internally and mentally-and knew she had Ben and his support and encouragement to thank for a lot of her transformation. 'I guess I'm just done with letting people walk all over me. I've had enough and I'm not taking it anymore,' she said playfully.
He didn't smile as she'd expected him to. 'It's a good mentality to have.' He paused, and she knew what was coming even before the words left his mouth. 'I should go.'
She crossed her arms over her chest, mirroring his stubborn attitude. 'What if I want you to stay?'
A muscle in his jaw ticked. 'Another night together isn't going to make ending this any easier.'
She shook her head, wondering if he was being deliberately obtuse to avoid the real underlying issues between them. If so, she was about to put everything out there so there would be no mistaking what she wanted, or how she felt about him.
'The thing is, I don't want just one last night with you, Ben. I want, and need, a whole lot more.'
'That's part of the problem, Christine,' he said gruffly, his eyes flashing with gold flecks of anger. 'I just don't have it in me to give you everything you need and deserve. You've known that all along.'
Yes, he'd made it abundantly clear that he didn't fit into her life, and that his emotions had been stripped raw from past experiences, but she just didn't believe that he was dead inside, that he didn't have the ability to care for another woman, because she'd seen and felt evidence to the contrary.
'I love you, Ben,' she said, risking it all for him. 'With all my heart, with all my soul, with everything I am.' She swallowed hard, hating that dark look of denial pinching his gorgeous features. 'And whether you can admit it to yourself, or not, I
He groaned, sounding like a man who'd been mortally wounded. 'I can't do this again, Christine.'
Okay, that hurt-that she didn't mean enough to him for him to take a chance, that she wasn't worth the risk to his already battered heart. It also made her angry enough to confront him with what she knew to be true.
'You haven't said the words, but I know you love me, too,' she said ruthlessly. 'I've seen the emotion in your eyes.
He took a step toward her. 'Christine-'
She held up a hand to keep him at a distance. 'Don't say anything. I don't what to hear you deny the truth, to me or yourself. I
He released a harsh stream of breath and looked away.
But she wasn't done with him just yet. Her throat filled with frustrated tears, and she swallowed them back, refusing to let them fall free in front of Ben. There would be plenty of time for crying later, when she was alone.
'After my mother's controlling influence, then everything that happened with Jason, I thought what I wanted was freedom and independence and being on my own for a good long while,' she told him, knowing he was listening even if he wasn't looking at her. 'But you know what? I realized during these past few weeks of being with you that it's a matter of finding the right man who completes me in ways that no other person ever has. A man I can talk to about anything, and trust with the most private aspects of my life, and my past. A man who makes me feel sexy, and desirable, and has shown me that I'm fully capable of experiencing and enjoying passion and lust and the kind of intense pleasure I'd only fantasized about.'
Finally, she reached out and touched him, because that physical connection was absolutely necessary. Caressing her fingertips along his jaw, she turned his head back toward her so he was forced to meet her gaze again. 'If you don't already know, that man is
She took a step back, then another, feeling the chasm between them growing ever wider in so many ways. 'You can let yourself out,' she said, then turned and headed back to her bedroom, knowing she wouldn't be able to bear watching him walk out of her life for the final time.
'THOSE of us guys who aren't wearing a ball and chain like Joel are heading over to Nick's Sports Bar for some beer and a few games of pool,' Kevin said to Ben after his playful dig to the newly married partner at Elite Security Specialists. 'Care to join us for a round or two?'
'Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it,' Joel said in defense of what he'd referred to as wedded bliss since returning from his honeymoon a few days ago. 'There's something to be said about going home every night to a woman who loves and adores you.' He grinned like the besotted fool that he was.
Kevin rolled his eyes as he pushed away from the conference table and stood. 'Okay. Whatever. That whole one-woman thing just isn't for me.'
