Magic Under Stone

I felt very, very alone myself. I went to Erris’s room instead of my own. We’d left his body in the greenhouse room. It had seemed fitting in the moment, to leave him among the green growing things, but now it occurred to me all the plants would probably die without Erris and Violet to tend them. I shuddered at the thought of his clockwork body gathering dust and the plants withering away in the darkness, but I had no intention of opening the door to that room ever again.

The last real conversation we’d had was a quarrel, one where I’d been stubborn. He was right about Hollin. The man had done things I shouldn’t forgive him for, and if I felt like I couldn’t even tell Annalie about our correspondence, it wasn’t proper for it to continue.

I went to the kitchen and fed Hollin’s letters to the woodstove. Then I sobbed for a long time, with the cat wending around me, letting out his own sad cries. I didn’t know if he missed Violet, or if he just sympathized with the situation. I ended up sleeping curled up with him on the rug.

There would be no letters from Hollin anymore, in any case. The next morning, Annalie came down and said we ought to write Karstor about the situation.

“Lean Joe left,” I said. “One of us will have to go to town to deliver the letter.”

“Oh, dear.”

“Exactly.”

Annalie sighed. “Perhaps I can contact him through the spirits.”

“Is there anything you can’t do?”

Her brow furrowed.

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t a good way to word that. I just meant, you’ve really become good at magic.”

“I haven’t been like other people for a long time,” Annalie said. She was looking at her hands, hands so slender and pale that the most pampered lady in Lorinar would envy them. “Karstor says I don’t use magic like trained necromancers. I guess it’s all wrong, how I do it. And really, it isn’t my magic at all. It belongs to the spirits. I just give them a connection to this world.”

“How do you keep the bad spirits out?”

“Oh, I don’t even think of it like that. ‘Bad’ spirits. There are angry spirits, but not bad ones. I guess I just know how to deal with them from all my years when they were with me, whether I wanted them to be or not.”

“Do you miss them? Being with you all the time?”

She glanced at me. “Sometimes I do. Yes. I wasn’t really sure I wanted Karstor to lift the curse at all.”

“Why did you let him?”

“I felt I might be needed. It seemed wrong to stay hidden away forever. Karstor said to me, one day, that I seemed more like a ghost than a woman. And I realized… that was true. I wasn’t dead yet, but I was acting like I was. I’d become more comfortable with the dead than the living. Living… frightens me a bit.”

What was it, exactly, about living that frightened her? I had my theories.

How funny, I thought, that she would use the same word about living that Hollin used about her. “What about when Hollin gets back?” I asked.

Her lips pinched.

I shouldn’t have said anything.

“I bear him no ill will,” she said abruptly. “But a life with him is no longer what I want.”

“Oh.” I hesitated. “I’m sorry to bring up a difficult subject.”

“Don’t be sorry.” She shook her head. “I can’t tell if he still loves me or not. He says loving things in his letters, but a lot of them sound silly. Then again, my replies are all wrong too. We’ve just… grown apart. When Hollin returns, I intend to ask for a separation, and continue learning magic with Karstor.”

My eyes widened slightly. That was scandalous indeed. “Will you marry Dr. Greinfern?”

“Well, we haven’t had a very long acquaintance, but if it would protect his reputation… He is the ambassador of magic now, so he’ll have to be careful. If he brings it up… It hardly matters to me.” She sounded astoundingly businesslike.

I wasn’t sure what to say. I gaped a bit. I admired Annalie for her power, for her serenity in the face of such adversity, but how could she be so callous about her husband’s feelings? About marriage itself?

Annalie looked briefly askance, and then leaned closer. “I mean, you do know, don’t you?”

“Know what?”

“About Karstor?” She sat back. “He didn’t say anything. Oh, dear. It’s not my place, then.” She looked slightly anguished. “Of course you mustn’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.” What on earth was it now?

“Karstor and Garvin had a particular relationship,” she said. She flushed a bit. “He does not care for women.”

I jerked in my chair. He had been broken up over Garvin’s death, but… men often seemed to place more importance on their friendships than on their wives, here in Lorinar, what with all their clubs and leagues and things. In Tiansher, men and women mingled more, shared the same entertainments. “But he’s-I mean… he’s a politician!” I finally finished.

Annalie’s lips quirked. “Well. Obviously neither of them would have gotten so far if they hadn’t been extremely discreet. Nevertheless, you understand now, there is nothing between us.”

I stared at the woodstove. I thought of Hollin coming back to the news that Annalie wanted a separation. His family was gone; he’d be all alone. Would he turn to me…?

I didn’t want Hollin Parry in that way, though. I could forgive his deceits, but I could not forget them, and I certainly couldn’t forget Erris.

“Nim, don’t despair,” Annalie said. “Just because Erris isn’t here, doesn’t mean he isn’t somewhere. The spirits told me you should go here. They told me Ordorio would know.”

“Don’t.” I shook my head. “What can I do about it anyway? How can I even get to the fairy kingdom, or move through it, without Erris? It’s too much! I can’t keep doing this. I need help, and Ordorio isn’t here. I’m starting to wonder if he’s imaginary.”

“He’s just abroad.”

“With my luck, he’ll drop dead on the ship back. He must be at least fifty, and traveling around in all these other countries in the cold…”

“He won’t drop dead.”

“Stop being so reasonable!” I shouted, shoving my chair back from the table.

But nothing I said fazed Annalie. She was utterly calm in her black dress, looking at me with a serene sympathy I couldn’t bear.

“I know you need time to grieve,” she said. “But let it out, and let it go. Take it from my own experience… you will feel better if you take action, in any small way you can right now. Keep working on your magic.”

“My magic?” I snapped. “For all the good it does. ‘Oh, Erris, let me keep you warm while a jinn blasts you into the next world!’” My eyes welled with furious tears. I didn’t know if I was more furious at the jinn or the fairy king or myself-but it was Annalie I wanted to lash out at, Annalie, who didn’t care about Hollin, who apparently didn’t care about anything.

I went to my room before I said things I didn’t mean, or didn’t want to say-it was hard to tell the difference just now. I cried long and hard, but no matter how much I let it out, I didn’t know how I could ever let it go.

THE WOODS, LORINAR

It was some time past midnight when Violet stirred.

“Have-have I been sleeping long?”

“Almost five hours, I think.”

She fidgeted. “Ouch! I’m stiff. Where are we going? How long are we going to be riding on this horse? Do you think we really ought to be out in the cold for so long? Don’t you need sleep?”

“Not much. You’ll be all right with me.”

“Well, I’m hungry.”