knew time had passed, but… it’s not the same. And thinking about Mel… going on without me… growing older than me… having a child, even…” He was getting that haunted look in his eyes again, the same one he so often had when I woke him.
“Never mind,” I said. “It’s all right. I understand. Please. Let’s just let it go right now.” My pride summoned a faint smile. “I’ll meet you back at the house.”
Chapter 5
Erris returned with greens overflowing from his basket. Celestina showed him to the kitchen to help prepare Violet’s dinner and took me upstairs to see the bedrooms.
She apologized that she had not aired them out. The room she offered did smell musty, but I assured her, quite honestly, that it was nice just to have a cozy room, with a canopy bed and clean linens. I didn’t say it aloud, but it was also nice to be in a house that didn’t feel so heavy with secrets and sorrow. There was a touch of it here, but nothing like Hollin Parry’s mansion, where I had lived before Karstor’s-where I had met Erris.
“Do you need anything else, Nimira?”
“Well… if you have pen and paper, I’d very much like to write letters to let our friends know we’ve safely arrived.”
She nodded. “Just don’t mention Violet. We try to avoid much in the way of paper records of her.”
“Why is she such a secret?” I had little patience with secrets and vague excuses these days.
“Without the enchantment, Mr. Valdana says she would surely be killed by humans or fairies who fear the restoration of the house of Tanharrow. Or, on the other hand, taken by the fairies who want to restore the house of Tanharrow. He just wants a normal life for her, at least until she comes of age.”
“Normal? But does she have any friends?”
Celestina looked solemn. “No, no friends. It would do her good, but circumstances just don’t allow for it.”
“No friends, no mother, and her father is gone from fall to spring?”
“He has to travel, to serve the Lady. In exchange for the powerful magic that protects Violet.” Celestina raised her brows. “The long and short of it is, be very glad that you’re not a fairy princess.”
“Well, I promise not to mention her in my letters.”
I wrote Karstor first. I missed him, although I didn’t feel like I knew him well enough to admit it. I suspected it was really my father I missed, but my father felt so lost to me that it was easier to miss Karstor. And Karstor had always seemed so sad. During the day, he made little jokes and went to work for long hours as the new ambassador of magic, but sometimes I found him sitting in a dark room staring off into space, and once I had heard him weeping very softly, just for a moment, but long enough that I couldn’t sleep for thinking about it. I had never imagined that powerful men shed tears. I thought of all this, but I kept the note short and friendly. I hoped it would bring a spot of cheer to his day.
Next I wrote Hollin’s wife, Annalie, and her ladies’ maid, Linza. Annalie was cursed, pained by the touch of light on her skin, but she seemed content enough to spend her days in a dimly lit room, speaking to spirits and writing. Her life should have been tragic, and yet she didn’t seem to need anyone, as if she were halfway to dwelling in the spirit world herself. It was difficult to think what to say to a woman like that. Linza was easier to talk to in person, but her lack of education showed when it came to letters. Still, they should know we had safely arrived.
I wanted to write Hollin, but wasn’t sure if he had moved on. Hopefully his travels abroad were all that he hoped for, even if the circumstances weren’t quite what he wished.
Hollin. I didn’t want to miss him. He had committed so many wrongs-from wooing me while he already had Annalie hidden away, to his inability to stand up to Smollings until the very last moment. It was Erris I loved-or tried to love, if he would have me-but it was Hollin whom I best understood. Hollin had told me once how he had been close to his mother and his uncle Simalt, who had traveled the world. Both had died, like my mother, and I don’t think either of us had known what it was to be cared for ever since.
I had finished my letters and was sitting quietly, brooding upon unpleasant matters, when Celestina told me dinner was ready.
In Hollin’s house, I had changed clothes for dinner like a lady, but no one seemed to expect it here. Celestina wore her stained apron, and my clothes bore the grime and scent of travel. A man sat at the table who I knew must be Lean Joe, not just through logic but because he was indeed very lean and weather-beaten, with a nick in his ear like a stray cat. He squinted at me, not with hostility, but curiosity. He had probably never seen a girl from Tiansher before. I was equally surprised to be eating with the help, but it seemed to be the way of things here. I suppose with Ordorio gone, they kept Violet company.
Violet sat at the head of the table, clad in a thick robe that must have belonged to her father, arms crossed around the turned-up sleeves, and wearing the pout that sat so comfortably on her lips.
Erris burst in from the kitchen with a plate of finely chopped greens, nuts, and apples, all raw and lightly dressed in vinegar.
Violet took one look at it and shoved the plate away from her so it crashed into the butter dish. “I won’t eat that. It looks disgusting! It looks like food people would eat if they were lost in the forest and starving to death!”
“It’s the kind of food we ate all day while we were out playing as children,” Erris said, sounding almost delighted at her protests. “Your mother and me and all the rest of us.
“No!” she cried. “I thought you were going to be nice! Father would never make me eat something I hated. How could anyone think vinegar was exciting? Celestina, this is unfair.”
“Don’t you want to get well?” Celestina said in a rather automatic tone.
“These plants are fresh from the forest,” Erris said. “They are full of good things for animals and people.”
“You’re talking like I’m a child!”
“Well, I promise to stop if you give that poor salad a chance,” Erris said. “I don’t need to be a doctor to know that the human world is making you sick.”
“It’s not! And I’m half-human!” Violet obviously realized she wasn’t going to win. She stood up, shoved her chair over so that it hit the floor with a bang, and stormed off, with one last shout at Lean Joe, who started laughing heartily.
Once she had left, we could hear her coughing all the way down the hall.
“I hope she doesn’t hurt herself, with all this commotion,” Celestina said, poking a sausage with her fork.
“She won’t,” Erris said. “Anyway, once she’s calmed down, I’ll bring her an apple.” He looked at the salad hungrily. “If any of the rest of you would like some… I don’t think it will keep long.”
“It might keep through tomorrow,” Celestina said. But she took a little, obviously out of guilt. Erris couldn’t eat, and it was strange to eat piles of sausage and potatoes smothered with gravy while he had no plate or even a cup. The desire for food was constant in his eyes whenever I ate anything, even the stale roll I packed for the train.
“Why aren’t you eating it?” Lean Joe asked.
“I’m not sure you’ll want to know,” Erris said. “I must apologize in advance for being so unnerving.”
Lean Joe scoffed. “Unnerving? Why, I’ve been to prison. Not much you can say to unnerve me anymore, especially something that starts with eating rabbit food. There’s men in there that would eat a lot worse.”
“Like what?” Erris asked, but I kicked his leg.
Celestina started laughing. “Joe, at least give them a day before you tell those stories!”
“You can laugh, but there was a cannibal in that prison!”
“He never saw cannibals,” Celestina said. “He was in prison for conning people out of their money selling fake medicine. They don’t put murderers in the same place. And he’s reformed now, aren’t you?”
Joe nodded solemnly. “That’s right, I’ve had my fun. I’m no fool. Best to shape up before you’re dead.”
“This house isn’t much like Hollin’s, that’s for sure,” I told Erris after dinner as we strolled the house. Celestina had encouraged us to explore while she attempted to coax Violet into eating the salad. I had shown Erris our guest rooms, and we roamed from there. I was happy to have him to myself again.
“I never did see Hollin’s house, but I can imagine his gardener wasn’t a con man.”
“No. It was much more proper. Although, I think I like this place better.”
