whipped at her long hair, tearing it out of the loose braids that held it. Megan must have removed her headdress while she lay insensible and she had not noticed.
She stood there a long time, head bowed, her eyes fixed on the ground, only half seeing the flickering shadows thrown by the torches of the men-at-arms. Then at last she raised her eyes to look directly at the men her husband had killed. The body of Prince Seisyll lay slightly apart from the others and someone had crossed his hands across his breast. On his forefinger a dark red stone glittered coldly in the torchlight.
Slowly her gaze traveled back to the gory heap, searching for the body of his son, the boy whose excited happy mood had so matched her own. She saw him almost at once, lying sprawled beneath another man, his head thrown back, his mouth open in horror at what he had seen. A trickle of blood had dried on the downless chin. His fingers were still clutching the linen napkin that the page had handed him as William began his speech. A few feet from his head lay the harp with its severed strings. Its frame had been snapped in two.
Her feet no longer felt the cold as she walked across the cobbles to the gatehouse and out over the drawbridge. In fact, she felt nothing at all. No one tried to stop her. The guards moved aside to let her pass and regrouped beneath the gateway behind her.
She walked slowly down toward the shining sweep of the river, her hair quite loose now, lifting around her head in a cloud. The wind carried showers of icy raindrops off the iron whiteness of the desolate hills but she neither saw nor felt their sting on her face. Somehow she seemed to find a path as she moved unseeing through the darkness and avoided trees and bushes and the outcrops of rock in her way. The cold moon was glinting fitfully through the rushing clouds to reflect in the Usk beneath as she stood for a while on the bank gazing into the luminous water; then she walked on. Soon the castle was out of sight and she was quite alone in the whispering trees. There the snow had melted and clogged into soft slush beneath the network of roots and the path became muddy beneath her toes, dragging at the sodden train of her gown.
It was several minutes before she realized that there was someone speaking to her, the voice quietly insistent, urging her back, calming the unsteady thudding of the pulse in her head.
“I’m reaching her now,” Carl Bennet murmured to the frantic woman at his side. He sat forward on the edge of his chair, staring intently at Jo as she lay restlessly on the sofa by the window. Outside the rain had begun again, sliding down the panes, forming little black pools in the soil of the dusty window box.
“Jo? Matilda? Can you hear me?”
His voice was professionally calm and reassuring again, only the beads of sweat on his forehead betraying the strain of the past hour.
On the sofa Jo stirred and half turned to face him. “Who is that?” she asked. “There is sleet in the moonlight. I cannot see properly.” Her eyes opened and she stared blindly at Bennet. “Is it you? The Welsh boy who brought me my food? I did not know what was planned. You must believe me, I did not know…” With tears running down her cheeks again she struggled to sit up, clutching at Bennet’s jacket.
Avoiding her desperate fingers, he leaned forward and put his hands gently on her shoulders, pushing her back against the cushions.
“Listen, my dear, I am going to wake you up now, I want you to come back to us. I am going to count to three. When I do so you will wake up as Joanna Clifford. You will remember all that has occurred but you will be relaxed and happy. Do you understand me?” For a moment he thought she had not heard him, but after a pause her hands dropped and she ceased struggling. He watched her face, waiting for the slight nod that came after a long perplexed silence.
“Good girl,” he said softly. “Now…one-two-three.”
He waited only a moment more, to be certain, then he leaned back in his chair and took off his glasses.
Jo lay still, staring from Bennet to his secretary and back. For a moment none of them spoke. Then, as Jo raised her hand and ran her fingers through her hair, Bennet stood up. “I think we could all do with some coffee,” he said, his voice shaking. “Would you, Sarah, please?”
He walked across to the table and switched off the tape recorder with a sharp
“I don’t know.” Jo pushed herself up against the cushions. “Oh, God, I’m so cold. My feet are freezing.” She leaned forward and rubbed them. “And my fingers are hurting-Oh, Christ, I don’t believe it! Tell me it didn’t happen!” She buried her face in her hands.
Bennet glanced at the open door through which came the sound of rattling cups from the kitchen.
“Do you remember everything?” he asked cautiously. After removing the reel from the recorder, he held it lightly between finger and thumb.
“Oh, yes, I remember. How could I forget!” Jo raised her face and stared at him. He recognized the same blind anguish he had seen as she acted out the role under hypnosis. “All that blood,” she whispered. “To see those men die. To smell it! Did you know blood smelled? And fear? The stink of fear!” She stood up unsteadily and crossed to stare out of the window. “That boy, Doctor. He couldn’t have been more than fifteen. He watched his father die and then-” Her voice cracked to a husky whisper and she fell silent, pressing her forehead against the window as a tear trickled down her cheek.
Quietly Sarah reappeared and put the tray on the desk. Bennet raised his fingers to his lips. He was watching Jo intently. Outside there was a flurry of angry hooting in the narrow street but none of them noticed it.
Jo turned back toward the room. Her face was white and strained. “Did you record everything I said?”
He nodded. Her own small tape recorder still sat on the floor beside the couch, the microphone lying where it had fallen on the rug.
“Come, have coffee now,” he said quietly. “We can listen later.”
“I still don’t believe it,” she said as she sat down and took the cup from him. It rattled slightly on the saucer as she tightened her grip. “You’ve set me up somehow. No, not intentionally, but somehow. There is no way all that was real, and yet I couldn’t have dreamed that-that obscenity-that boy’s death.” She found herself blinking hard, and she steadied herself with an effort. There was a long silence.
She sipped the coffee slowly, then she looked up, forcing a smile. “So, tell me what you thought. How did I do as a subject?”
Bennet had taken his own cup back to his chair and Sarah, sitting at the side table, her own hands still shaking, turned to look at him. She had recognized his barely suppressed excitement.
He chewed his upper lip for a moment. “I think I can say in all honesty that you are the best subject I have ever worked with,” he said at last. “As I told you, people’s sensitivities vary enormously and it often takes several sessions before a deep enough trance is reached for any meaningful contact to be made with another personality.” He took a gulp of coffee. “But this Matilda. She was so clear, so vivid.” He stood up again. “And so powerful. Do you realize I lost control of you? That has never happened to me before in all my years of experience. I tried to break the trance and I couldn’t!”
Jo stared at him. “I thought I had read that that couldn’t happen.”
He shrugged. “It was only temporary. There was nothing to be afraid of. But it was fascinating! Do you feel ready to discuss what you remember now?” He reached down to where a pile of notebooks lay beside his chair and selected one.
Jo frowned. Then slowly she shook her head, concentrating all her attention on the steaming black liquid in her cup, still fighting the unfamiliar emotions that overwhelmed her. “In a minute. I’m sorry, Dr. Bennet, but I feel rather odd.”
He was watching her carefully. With a glance at Sarah he went over to collect the coffeepot from the desk in front of her and poured some more into Jo’s cup. “I doubt if you have ever witnessed a massacre before, my dear,” he said dryly. “It would be surprising if you were not upset.”
“Upset! But I feel as though I had really lived through it, for God’s sake!”
“You have. For you, every part of that experience was real.”
“And not only for you,” Sarah added softly behind him.
“It was a hallucination, some sort of dream.” Slowly Jo put down her cup. “You must have put it all into my head. You are not trying to tell me that I am a reincarnation of that woman-”
