Dracula in Love

confidence, carrying my valise, opening doors for me, and helping me into the train, probably doing these small things to show that he intended to compensate for his infidelity. For my part, I was grappling with the bizarre dream of the night before. I tried not to think of it, but the delicious memories crept into my mind, titillating me to the core. At those moments, I felt myself blushing against my will and I had to turn my face away from my husband.

The rolling hills we traveled through were lined with rows of crisscrossed crops-apple and pear trees, vines of grapes, and maize-creating bafflingly precise geometries. In the forested areas, the branches on the trees drooped lugubriously like the long sleeves of Druid priests.

Jonathan pointed to the curved roads that cut through the hillsides and valleys. “Forged by Romans, Mina!” he said. “So many civilizations have come and gone on this land-Celts, Romans, Normans, Mongols, French. Who knows how many more?” He smiled at me, but I turned away, wondering if he had learned the region’s history from his Styrian lovers. Had his sordid tale inspired my dream?

“My world would be immeasurably better if we could look each other in the eye,” he said. He took my chin with his hand and turned my face around to meet his. “I want you to know that I love you, and that my love for you is far above these horrible and decadent acts in which I have participated. I can be a good and faithful husband if only you will give me the chance. Men can be tempted, Mina-that is why we must have the love of a good woman. Otherwise, it is too easy for us to get lost.”

I turned away from him, looking out the window at the rows of crops on the hillsides in lines so perfectly straight. Humans were capable of goodness and perfection, but our behavior seldom matched those qualities. Was it our destiny to sling stinging betrayals at each other? I thought of Lucy and wondered if she had lost her mind and confessed her sins to Arthur. Lucy had seemed possessed by the same passions that had consumed Jonathan and left him howling in the fields of Styria. How could that be love? And what about me? A man had made dark, unnatural, earth-shattering love to me in my dreams on my wedding night, but he was not my husband. What bizarre part of my psyche continued to invite these scenes?

Mr. Darwin demonstrated that we-male and female alike-were descended from wild animals. Women, held high in men’s esteem and given the task of living up to a higher moral standard, seemed as capable as men of bestial behavior. Jonathan claimed that the women seduced him. It made sense, I suppose. It wasn’t as if men evolved from beasts and women evolved from angels. But if women too gave free rein to our base wants, as I did in my dreams, what would happen to our society? There would be no order in the world. And I craved order. That is what marriage, particularly ours, was supposed to provide-blissful, predictable order against the chaotic and unpredictable nature of human life.

“You must give me time,” I said. “In time I believe I will be able to forgive you. After all, you are my husband.”

Time. What was time? Time is a river that flows both forward and backward. How could that be true?

He took my hand. “Your response is more generous than I deserve, Mina. I need time too. I am not worthy of you. I must find a way to purify myself.”

We both must purify ourselves, I wanted to say. But I did not think that I could carry through with an explanation.

Part Four EXETER AND LONDON

Chapter Ten

Dearest Mina,

How I wish you were here with me, though you will be edified to know that in the past weeks, your commonsense voice has been ringing in my ears. Unlike you, I was one of Miss Hadley’s worst students. I did not listen to her wisdom, or to yours, and now I regret what a fool I have been, though it appears that I have an opportunity to remedy the wrongs I have committed.

I have been a horrid creature to Mr. Holmwood. His father passed away just after you left us at Whitby. Arthur went home to tend to business, and when we reunited in London at the beginning of this month, he returned to me as Lord Godalming. Lord Godalming! This is the individual whom I have treated so badly, whose gentle affection I ignored in favor of the bolder stroke of crude lust. He arrived at the house in Hampstead with a gift for my mother and a corsage of orchids for me. He asked to be alone with me in the garden and presented me with his grandmother’s diamond ring, which is absolutely dazzling. On one knee, he asked me to make him the happiest man in England and then gave me a lovely note from his mother, expressing the hope that we would immediately set a date for our wedding. “I am eager to have you as my daughter and to instruct you in the duties that accompany the title of Lady Godalming and the many joys and responsibilities of life at Waverley Manor.”

Any sane woman would have sunk to her knees in happiness, but I did the opposite. I told him that I was in love with Morris Quince and waiting to hear from him. Arthur smiled a very sad and knowing little smile, and at first I thought he was smirking at me. But he took my hand and said, “Miss Lucy, you are not Quince’s first victim. He has seduced many a pretty and chaste girl, and for some reason-perhaps to overcome his inferiority as an American-he always sets his sights on the women I most admire. I hold you blameless. But if you are waiting for Morris Quince, you will see your hair turn gray and your life pass you by before you hear from him.”

Mina, he said this with such tenderness and understanding that it melted my heart. You were correct: Morris played me for a fool. Arthur told me that Morris came to him before he left England and taunted him with our affair! How could I have been so blind? You saw through the man, but I was entirely caught up in his wicked web of deceit. I would have bet my life-and almost did-on Morris Quince’s love for me. What fools we mortals be!

I am the most fortunate of women. Unlike our poor lost Lizzie Cornwall, I will not be cast out into the streets but will become Lady Godalming. We are to be married immediately. How I wish you could be present as we always dreamt, but I know that you are with Jonathan. I do not love Arthur, not yet, but my mother says that any woman can learn to love a man who is good to her, and Arthur is certainly that.

Thank you for all your wise words, Mina, and for your patience with me. Your good counsel has helped me to get on the right path. Love is a terrible, terrible thing. I still dream of Morris and long for his touch, but I know that with Arthur’s help, I can move past these feelings.

Your affectionate friend forever,

Lucy

P. S. I will not insist that you address me as Lady Godalming!

Exeter, 20 September 1890

I received Lucy’s letter in Exeter, where Headmistress had forwarded it to me. Jonathan and I had settled into Mr. Hawkins’s home, and I had written to my employer that I would not be returning to my job, that Jonathan and I had hurriedly married in Graz, and that with his illness, he required my full attention and care. I apologized profusely, knowing that my absence would put Headmistress back into the classroom, which, at her age, she would not relish, but I had no choice.

I had worried over Lucy in the weeks I was away, and I was greatly relieved to know of her turnabout with Arthur. I supposed they were married by now, and perhaps even away on a honeymoon voyage. I vowed to send her a note congratulating her and relating the news of my marriage as soon as I had the time.