crossed the parking lot to my truck, and I drove watching my rear.
By the time I got to the bonds office, everyone else was already there. Connie was behind her desk. Lula was perched on a folding chair, doing the day’s Jumble. Vinnie was pacing, checking messages on his smartphone.
“News of the day?” I asked.
“Vinnie just wrote a bond on Brenda,” Connie said. “There was an explosion at her brother’s warehouse, and she was arrested on the scene.”
“They arrested her for just being there?” I asked. “Did they think she was responsible for the explosion?”
“No, a defective propane tank apparently exploded,” Connie said. “I’ve been listening to police chatter.”
Lula looked up from the Jumble, rolled her eyes, and made the sign of the cross.
“Brenda was there when the police arrived, one thing led to another, and she punched out a cop.” Connie looked up at the ceiling. “Hey, something just dripped on my desk.”
We all looked at the ceiling. There were big wet splotches, and it looked like it was buckling.
Lula sniffed. “It’s the rats. They’re relievin’ themselves, and it’s soakin’ through. There must be a lot of them. When I was a ’ho, I used to do business out of a Chinese restaurant, and they had this problem. It used to drip into the hot-and-sour soup.”
“There’s no rats,” Vinnie said. “There’s probably a busted pipe. Somebody call the landlord.”
“I know rats when I smell them,” Lula said. “And there’s rats.” She got a broom from the corner and poked the ceiling. “Shoo!”
The minute the broom made contact with the ceiling, a piece of the ceiling broke loose and fell onto Connie’s desk. A crack opened up above us, and there were some smooshy, groaning sounds. The crack stretched the length of the room, the ceiling sagged, the crack gaped open, and about a thousand rats poured down on us. Big rats, small rats, fat rats, startled rats. Bug-eyed and squealing. Nasty little rat feet treading air. Tails stiff as a stick. They thudded onto Connie’s desk and the floor, stunned for a second and then up and running.
“
She climbed onto her chair and covered her head with the Jumble.
Connie was on her desk, punting rats across the room like they were footballs. “Someone open the door so they can get out!” she yelled.
I was afraid to move for fear of stepping on a rat and pissing him off. I think I was screaming, but I don’t remember hearing myself.
Vinnie lunged for the door, bolted out, and the rats rushed after him.
Minutes later, we were on the sidewalk, looking in at the office. Most of the rats had departed for parts unknown. A few rats, too dumb to find the door, were hunkered down in corners.
“I feel like I got rat cooties,” Lula said. “I bet I got fleas. And I think one of them bit me on the ankle.”
I examined Lula’s ankles. No bite marks.
“It must have been one of those bites that don’t show,” Lula said, “on account of I’m coming down with something. I can feel it. Lord, I hope it’s not the plague. I don’t want the plague. You break out in them booboos when you got the plague.”
“I don’t see any booboos on you,” I told her.
“Well, it’s still early,” Lula said.
Better booboos than Buggy, I thought, hiking my bag onto my shoulder. “I’m heading out. I’m going to look for Magpie.”
“I’ll go with you,” Lula said. “Only I gotta get something to settle my stomach. I gotta keep my strength up in case I get the plague. I need chicken.”
I cruised into the Cluck-in-a-Bucket drive-thru and Lula got a bucket of extra-crispy, a bag of biscuits with dipping gravy, an apple pie, and a large diet root beer. I helped myself to a piece of chicken, and I got a text message from Brenda.
I texted her back and asked if she was at the salon and could she do my hair.
“Change of plans,” I said to Lula. “Brenda’s running.”
“How do you know?”
“I just know. I’m going to see if I can talk her out of it.”
Forty minutes later, I was about to turn off Route 1 into Brenda’s neighborhood when her toaster zipped out in front of me. There were four cars between us, but I knew it was Brenda.
“You want me to call her?” Lula asked.
“No. Let’s see where she’s going.”
She took Route 1 to Route 18, and got onto the Turnpike heading north. It was clear where she was going. She was going to the airport, and Jason was in the car with her.
“Maybe she’s just taking her kid,” Lula said. “He’s still hiding, right?”
“It’s possible.”
I followed her to the short-term parking garage and watched from a distance while she took suitcases out of the Scion. They walked toward the terminal, dragging their luggage. It didn’t look to me like she even bothered to lock the car. I knew she was jumping bail.
I found a parking place, and Lula and I hustled to catch up with Brenda. A man was a short distance away, walking toward us. He was carrying a suiter, looking very tanned.
It was The Rug. Simon Ruguzzi. The skip responsible for all my problems in Hawaii. Our eyes met, and he dropped the suiter and took off.
Brenda was worth loose change to Vinnie. The Rug was worth big bucks.
I changed course in the middle of the parking garage and ran for Ruguzzi. I could hear Lula clattering in her heels behind me, and I was gaining on the guy in front of me. I got to within a couple feet of him, took a flying leap, and grabbed his pants cuffs. He went to the ground, and Lula rushed over and sat on him. I cuffed him and dragged him to his feet.
“How’d you know to run?” I asked him.
“You’re famous,” he said. “I saw you on the side of a bus, in an ad for the bonds office.”
Vinnie’s brilliant idea, and not a highlight in my life.
I loaded The Rug into the backseat and headed back to Trenton. I called Ranger from the road.
“I just captured The Rug,” I told him. “I had a feeling Brenda was going to skip, so I followed her to the airport. I ran into Ruguzzi in the parking garage, and Lula and I took him down.”
“Babe,” Ranger said.
It was late afternoon by the time I met Vinnie at the coffee shop.
“Sorry about Brenda,” I said. “I’m pretty sure she skipped.”
“I was counting on it,” Vinnie said. “She put her Ferrari up for bond. Now I can give it to DeAngelo.”
“It’s hot,” I told him. “And it doesn’t come with keys.”
“Don’t care,” Vinnie said. “That’s DeAngelo’s problem. I’ll send it to him on a flatbed.”
I got a Frappuccino and got into my truck. Magpie would wait for another day. Truth is, I was rolling in money from my Ruguzzi capture. I stopped at my parents’ house on the way home.
“Looks like you tore the knees out of your jeans,” Grandma said.
I followed her into the kitchen. “Occupational hazard.”
“Are you staying for dinner?” my mom asked.
“No. I need to go home and take a shower and change my clothes.”
I’d been pelted by rats, plus I’d skidded across about five feet of cement when I tackled The Rug. I didn’t think she wanted to know the details.
“I was hoping I could mooch some sandwich stuff from you. I need to go shopping, but I didn’t want to go into
