time, and he didn’t even know about Timmy. No one knew. Lenny still wanted to marry
He hugged her to him. “I should have written when I was away, but I’m not much good at that sort of thing.”
Tilly looked at Pat with apologetic eyes. “I had to go home to explain to my mom and my grandma and to see Lenny. I couldn’t take the baby until I’d made sure everything was okay. I had to be sure Lenny really loved me. I guess I wasn’t thinking so good, but I just had to get home and straighten my life out.”
Pat could feel Megan’s cold hand holding tightly to his, and his heart went out to her. She’d let herself love Timmy, and now she was losing her baby. He wanted to reassure her that Timmy would be well cared for. He wanted to give her a little more time to adjust. “What did your mom and grandma say about Timmy?”
Tilly’s face broke into a wide grin. “They were so excited, they didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. Boy, I was really dumb to go off on my own like that. I didn’t understand much about love. You don’t stop loving someone just because they make a mistake.”
“We’re packing up Tilly’s apartment now,” Lenny said. “Then we’re going back to Louisiana, and we’re going to get married right away. Tilly’s going to live with her mom, until I get out of the Navy.”
Megan compressed her lips. She didn’t want to meddle, but she couldn’t help worrying about Timmy. “What about a job? Will you be able to take care of a family?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ve learned all about computers in the Navy. I’ll be able to get a good job when I get out.”
Megan looked around at the toys and books and baby furniture. “Timmy has so many things here,” she said absently, resigning herself to the finality of it, feeling utterly lost.
Pat gave Tilly her son’s snowsuit. “You can get Timmy dressed, and I’ll pack his clothes.”
In a matter of minutes Pat had assembled several bags of baby paraphernalia. He handed Timmy his favorite blanket and kissed him. “We’re going to miss you, kid.” He turned to Megan. “Meg, would you like to kiss Timmy good – bye?”
She shook her head. It would be too painful to kiss him good – bye. She stood with her arms tightly clasped across her chest. She was afraid to move or speak for fear of bursting into tears. Tilly and Lenny seemed like nice people. This was a happy time for them. She didn’t want to ruin it, and she didn’t want to embarrass herself. It had been foolish of her to think she could keep Timmy, but she’d followed her heart. Damn, she thought. She was such a dope.
Pat closed the door after Tilly and Lenny and Timmy. “He’ll be fine. He belongs with his mother. Now he’s even got a father and a grandmother and a great – grandmother.”
“I know.”
“Doesn’t make it hurt any less, does it?”
“No.”
Pat looked at the toe of his shoe for a minute, then walked into the kitchen and got a dinner plate.
“What’s this?” she asked as he handed it to her.
He grinned. “I thought you might want to smash something.”
“Please, I feel foolish enough…”
Actually, she did want to smash something. She realized she was practically smothering in anger. It wasn’t fair. Every time she made a real commitment to someone, he left her. She hefted the plate and threw it at the fireplace. It smashed, and shards of china scattered on the hearth and braided rug.
“Feel better? Pat asked.
“No.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. This could get expensive, he thought. Megan looked mad enough to go through a service for forty. “Want another plate?”
What she wanted was another baby, Megan realized. She liked being a mother. She was just getting good at it. She didn’t want to go back to being a single person, rattling around in the big old farmhouse by herself.
She looked at Pat and thought a short sexfest might not be such a bad idea. She couldn’t have Tilly’s baby, but she was pretty sure she could have Pat’s. It’d be a terrific baby, too. Cute little nose, big brown eyes, perfect teeth. They should get married, of course, but there was no reason they couldn’t get started making a baby right away. Why waste valuable time? If she got pregnant now, she could have a baby by the end of the summer.
The trick was getting Pat to make a baby. He’d been very careful about that sort of thing. She might have to take matters into her own hands, she thought slyly.
Pat uneasily shifted his weight from foot to foot. Megan was looking at him as if he were lunch. No, sir, he thought, life with Megan Murphy was never dull. He didn’t have a clue what was going through her mind, but the look in her eyes raised all the little hairs on the back of his neck. This was a desperate woman. This was a woman on the edge.
“Maybe we should go out to dinner,” he suggested. If she was planning a double suicide, they’d be safer in a crowded place. She’d feel better after a good meal, and he’d have a chance to talk to her, reason with her.
Dinner?she thought. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. It would give her a chance to really get Pat in the mood. A romantic restaurant.The perfect place for a proposal. Once she got the proposal out of the way, it would be clear sailing to motherhood. She rubbed her hands together in anticipation. This time it was going to work. She wasn’t going to get dumped on. She wasn’t going to get left at the altar. She was going to get pregnant.
“All right,” she said. “Dinner. That’s a great idea. Someplace dark and quiet.The darker the better.”
Pat swallowed and racked his brain for the noisiest best – lit place in Williamsburg.
“I’m going upstairs to freshen up,” Megan said. “Would you call my parents and tell them I’m going to be later than expected?”
“What are you going to do upstairs?”
“It’s of a personal nature.”
“You’re not too depressed, are you? I mean, you wouldn’t jump out a window or anything, would you?”
“Pat, if I jumped out a window, the best I could do would be to break my knees.”
“Not if you jumped head first.”
“Well, yes, but that would ruin my hair.”
That made him feel better. Worrying about your hair was a sign of good mental health. He’d read about it in a mental – health course.
Megan ran up the stairs and checked out the candles, making sure there were fresh tapers in all the holders. Then she turned down the bedcovers and closed the curtains. She didn’t want to waste any time once they got back from the restaurant. They’d have a memorable meal, a knock – your – socks – off proposal, then they’d rush back here and jump into bed.
She brushed her hair and applied fresh lipstick and a dusting of blusher. She felt much better, she thought, smoothing her sweater over her hips. She really had her life under control now. Good thing she was such a levelheaded person. Some women would have gone off the deep end over losing a baby, but not her. She was flexible. She could find creative solutions to problems like this.
Pat cleaned up the broken china and doused the fire while he waited for Megan. He looked at the empty crib and felt a surge of sorrow pass through his heart. It had been nice having a baby in the
