The Grand Finale

“What a pal.”

“I can do wonderful things with soapsuds.”

“I don’t think I want to hear this.”

Jake sat on the edge of the bed and ran his finger along the blue silk collar. “I like the way you feel under this material. Now I know why they make pajamas out of it. It never felt like this when it was on me.”

Berry liked it, too. It was fun to wake up feeling pampered and feminine for a change.

He ran the material between his fingers. “You would feel like this in the shower, when you got all lathered with soap.”

Holy cow. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. Not even her ex-husband. Especially not her ex-husband!

Jake’s desire was obvious in his dark eyes as his finger traced a trail over the small swell of her breast. There was something incredibly carnal about his lazy exploration of her pajama-clad body. She licked her lips in anticipation of his good-morning kiss. When it happened, it said, Good morning, good golly! His hands headed south, and Berry didn’t want him to stop. He went from Montana to Salt Lake City and paused at Phoenix. Berry really needed him to continue on to Mexico.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered.

His hands were warm on her belly, his fingertips resting on the thin elastic band at the top of her bikini panties. “Once I cross the border, there’s no going back.”

Berry exhaled. Crossing the border wouldn’t be good. Pleasurable? Yes. Smart? No. There would be no going back in more ways than one. She groaned and pushed away and straightened her nightshirt.

“I need a moment,” she said. “It’s the first time I’ve ever felt anything like this.”

“You were married for four years. Didn’t you ever make love?”

“It turned out that I gave love, and he took love, but we never made love. We went through the motions on a regular basis, but nothing ever happened for me.” She rolled her eyes. “This is so awkward.”

“I hope I never meet this guy. I don’t think I could keep from flattening his nose.”

“It wasn’t entirely his fault. I was very young. Allen and I both thought marriage could be a panacea for our own problems. Allen was very smart. He had direction to his life. He wanted to be a doctor. There I was floundering through school, changing my major every semester, barely passing half my courses-and Allen walked into my life. He was like the calm in the center of a hurricane. Cool blue eyes, perfectly combed hair, always a crease in his trousers. I think, unconsciously, we each felt incomplete. I needed order and purpose, and he was lacking emotion. I suppose we thought if we joined the two of us together we’d get a complete human being.

“Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. Marriage intensified our problems. The longer we were married, the less sure I became of myself, and he grew more withdrawn, less communicative. When it became clear that the marriage was a failure, Allen began looking to other women for comfort.” Berry shrugged. “Maybe cheating was a last-ditch effort for him. Maybe he was trying to convince himself that he wasn’t deficient.”

“Maybe he was a creep.”

Berry hugged her knees and laughed. “That was my original conclusion. Time and personal growth have softened the edges of my animosity.”

Someone obtrusively clumped down the hall, stopping short of Jake’s bedroom door. “Anyone wanting to use the bathroom should do it now,” Mrs. Fitz hissed in a loud whisper. “They should get into the bathroom before Mrs. Dugan gets up!”

Berry was the last to arrive at the breakfast table. She quietly slid onto a packing crate and poured a bowlful of cereal, being careful to avoid looking at Jake. She was practically senseless with embarrassment. She’d gone bonkers listening to him talk about soap. She couldn’t have felt more exposed if she’d come to the breakfast table naked. She’d told him her life story. Lord, she was such a boob. She kept her eyes trained on the cereal without really seeing it. She added milk and stirred.

Pow! A kernel of cereal flew past her ear. Pop, ping, pow. Her cereal was exploding!

A kernel bounced off Mrs. Dugan’s forehead. “I’ve been shot!” Mrs. Dugan cried. “Someone shot me in the forehead.”

Mrs. Fitz dived under the table. “You haven’t been shot, you old dunce. It’s the cereal.”

Jake jumped to his feet and clamped a dinner plate over the almost empty bowl.

“What is this stuff?” Berry asked, her eyes wide.

Jake cautiously removed the plate. The cereal was bloated with milk, making soft snuffling noises. “I don’t understand this. It never did this before. Maybe it was the way you were stirring it.” He took the box of cereal and Berry’s bowl and descended into the basement with them.

Mrs. Dugan shook her head. “This never happened when we lived in the Southside Hotel for Ladies.”

Mrs. Fitz picked cereal out of her hair. “Yeah, that place was boring. Filled with old people.” She shivered at the thought.

Miss Gaspich folded her napkin. “I like it here. I wish he hadn’t taken that cereal away. I wanted to try some.”

Berry stared at the cellar door, wondering what was down there. Dr. Jekyll’s laboratory? Finally her curiosity grew stronger than her embarrassment. She excused herself from the table and cautiously opened the basement door. “Jake?”

“Mmmm.”

“Can I come down? Will anything else explode?”

“Take your chances.”

Berry looked around the cluttered, well-lit room. Kites, model airplanes, wind socks, and bicycle wheels hung from the ceiling. The walls were lined with bottle-laden shelves and crowded bulletin boards. Countertops held robot innards, computer equipment, and sacks of rice, whole wheat, and corn. There were toys everywhere: decapitated dolls, fuzzy bears, motorized skateboards, boxes of puzzles. Jake sat at a massive oak desk, intently staring at a soggy particle of cereal speared on a long skewer. Berry moved behind him. “I feel like I’m visiting Gyro Gearloose.”

“Most of this stuff belongs to my sister’s kids. I’m the toy fixer. The trouble is they break them a lot faster than I can fix them.” He looked around the room. “Some of this is mine. The kites and planes and wind socks are mine.”

Berry looked sidewise at him. “You told me you didn’t have any toys.”

“There are all kinds of toys. These are little toys. I didn’t think we were talking about little toys.”

“So you have exploding cereal and a bunch of little toys. Are there any other surprises I should know about?”

“I almost never have surprises. My life is an open book.”

“Un-hunh.”

“Go ahead, ask me anything,” Jake said.

“Did you give me that exploding cereal on purpose?”

Jake feigned outrage. “Moi?”

Berry sat on a tricycle. “Okay, so go ahead and tell me. What’s this big plan you’ve got?”

Jake leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk. “We’re going to get married, buy a couple dogs, and have a whole bunch of kids. Maybe a hundred. Although I’m negotiable about the kids. One or two would be enough.”

“I don’t want to get married. Been there, done that.”

“Not ever?” Jake asked.

“Maybe someday, but not for years and years.”

“I don’t want to wait years and years. I’m pretty much ready to get married now. Today or tomorrow would be good.”

The man was insane, Berry thought. Fun… but insane.

“I have work to do. I don’t have all day to stand here and talk about marriage,” she told him. “I have to make