The Grand Finale

“No. This is something I have to do myself.” He pasted a scratch-and-sniff sticker on the book and moved on to another.

Berry cracked her knuckles and sighed. She emptied the bag of groceries and polished off three butterscotch puddings. “I guess I’ll go to bed,” she said in a conversational tone to the kitchen.

Neither Jake nor the kitchen answered her, so she kissed Jake on the top on his head and dragged herself up the stairs. He’s such a good guy, she thought. He’s trying to be a good teacher. Problem was, it felt a lot like Allen trying to be a good doctor. She’d been understanding with Allen, and she wanted to be understanding with Jake. Unfortunately, she needed some acknowledgment that something special had passed between them. She needed reassurance that Jake loved her. And she didn’t want to have to beg for it.

The next morning Mrs. Fitz looked up at Berry from the breakfast table and shook her head. “Boy, I thought you looked bad yesterday, but this beats all. Your eyes look like tomatoes.”

“I had a hard time getting to sleep.”

“Jake didn’t look so hot, either. He left about an hour ago with his hair standing on end and his tie hanging crooked.”

“He say anything about me?”

“Nope. He just kept mumbling about Joey Barnes and how he was going to flunk math if he didn’t learn how to keep his papers neater.”

Berry took a brand-new store-bought apple pie from the refrigerator, added three scoops of vanilla ice cream, sat down across from Mrs. Fitz, and dug in.

“You can always count on an apple pie,” Berry said.

Berry slammed the front door to the Pizza Place behind her. “That does it. Boy, that really does it,” she shouted, throwing her books onto the counter. She waved a piece of paper at Mrs. Fitz. “Do you know what this is? This is what being in love does to you. Makes you stupid. Makes you fail art history tests.” Berry flapped her arms. “I knew this would happen. I just knew it. There’s not enough room in my head to think about both Jake Sawyer and Vincent van Gogh. Ever since Jake Sawyer popped into my life I’ve been neglecting my studies, and now I’m failing,” she wailed. “I’ve worked so hard for my degree. All down the drain for a few moments of savage passion.”

Mrs. Fitz’s eyes opened wide. “Really? Savage passion?”

“Savage passion. The whole nine yards.” Berry chomped on a bread stick. “And I’m crazy in love with him. Absolutely bonkers.” She drew her eyebrows together. “But I’m not going to be. I’m going to fall out of love this instant. I have finals coming up. If I study hard I might be able to pull my grades up.” She wrapped a white apron around her waist and set her textbook on the counter.

Berry removed the towel from her head, shook out her damp blond curls, and rolled her eyes at the crashing, clanking sounds originating from the kitchen. Jake must have come home while she was in the shower. Only Jake could make that much noise in the kitchen. He was probably looking for dinner, doing his bear-foraging-in-the-woods routine. Mrs. Dugan was still on her cruise, Mrs. Fitz and Miss Gaspich were at the Pizza Place with Harry, and Berry had taken a couple hours off to try to relax after grinding her way through three chapters on Renaissance art.

Jake’s voice carried up to her. “I can never find a damn thing in this house,” he muttered. “Nothing’s ever in the same place twice.” Another volley of clattering accompanied by swearing. “Too many women! All I wanted was a pizza, and look at what I got… four women who can’t agree where the frying pan should go.”

All he wanted was a pizza! That had become painfully obvious during the past week. He hadn’t said more than ten words to her since The Momentous Occasion on Sunday. She stepped into a pair of lacy blue panties and tugged at her jeans, silently swearing that she was never going to bed with another man for as long as she lived. She was a flop in the sack, and she had no intention of humiliating herself ever again. She wrenched the jeans over her hips and zipped them halfway. They wouldn’t zip any further. “Damn!” She stood tall and held her breath and pulled. She had them zipped, but she couldn’t button the top button. A soft roll of flesh hung over the waistband. Berry stared at herself in the mirror. She was fat! She tapped her foot. This was all Jake’s fault, the creep. She’d wanted romance, but she’d had to settle for food, and now she was fat. Berry gave up on the button and shrugged into a T-shirt, gaping in disbelief as it stretched taut across full breasts. Hot damn. She had cleavage. She tipped her head back and gave herself a critical look. Who would have thought getting cleavage would be this easy? Turned out all you had to do was get fat.

Jake appeared in the doorway. “Having problems?”

“My pants don’t fit.” She poked at the roll. “I guess this is butterscotch pudding.”

“I hope this isn’t going to ruin your appetite. I made a great dinner for tonight.”

“You made dinner?”

“Actually, I bought it, but I made the money that paid for it.”

Berry followed Jake downstairs and they stopped at the entrance to the dining room and stared in silent horror.

Berry was the first to speak. “There’s a dog on the table.”

“Dammit, I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“You succeeded.” Berry looked at the empty serving bowl. “Is this bowl supposed to be empty?”

“It’s supposed to be filled with beef Bourguignon. That slob of a dog ate my dinner!”

“And this basket?”

“Used to be rolls in there.”

Berry could hardly keep from laughing. The floppy-eared puppy resembled a furry Buddha, sitting in the middle of the table like a centerpiece. It wagged its tail against the white lace tablecloth. Thump, thump, thump.

“Hard to believe this little dog could eat all that food,” Berry said.

“Are you kidding? Look at that stomach. She looks like a beach ball with legs.”

“She ate everything but the peas.”

Jake picked the dog off the table and stroked her glossy black head. “I thought she was secure in the carrier the pet store gave me.”

Berry bent to retrieve a piece of ragged red cardboard. “You mean this box that’s been chewed to shreds.”

“Maybe we should name her Jaws.” He sat her on the floor and watched her scamper in a small circle. The puppy stopped and squatted.

“Maybe we should call her Puddles.”

He ran his hand through his hair. “Oh, man, look at this mess. The only name for her is Calamity Jane.”

“Haven’t you ever had a puppy before?”

“No. Have you?”

“No.”

“It was part of my plan. You know, floppy-eared dogs running around after a pack of kids.”

“Lord, you don’t have a pack of kids stashed away somewhere, do you?”

Jake grinned. “No. The kids come last. They’re the fun part. We get to make the kids.”

“We?”

“Oh, gross! Your dog just threw up on my foot. This never happens in the movies. You ever see a dog throw up on George Clooney’s foot when he’s trying to be romantic?”

Berry looked at Jake suspiciously. “Why are you trying to be romantic?”

“It’s the weekend. I’m finally caught up with my schoolwork, and I thought we could get reacquainted. It’s been really nice of you to be so understanding,” he said, running his hand through his hair. “You can’t imagine what it’s been like for me to have to sit here grading papers until all hours of the morning. Sometimes I just felt like walking away from it all and climbing into bed with you, but I couldn’t do that to those kids.”

Here’s the thing, Berry thought. I’m going to have to work on trust and patience, and he’s going to have to improve his communication skills, or I’m going to end up looking like a blimp.

“Now that I’m caught up, I wanted to do something special for you,” Jake said. “A romantic dinner for two, some very private dancing, and some very passionate lovemaking.”

“Great,” Berry said. “You go upstairs and wash your foot while I take care of this mess.”