The wheelchair was locked in place, the lift lowering them to the ground. Normally, Jess preferred his lightweight racing chair. He propelled it manually, maneuvering it with ease, liking the exercise, the control, the freedom to play. But at the moment, he was grateful for his larger, heavier electric chair. It left his arms free to cradle Saber against him. She seemed a little lost tonight, very vulnerable, and she rarely showed him that side of her. Saber preferred humor to anything else and used it often as a barrier between herself and the rest of the world.
Once in the house, he took them straight through to the darkened living room. His hand tangled in her hair, fingers massaging her scalp, easing the tension out of her.
“So facing me was preferable to sleeping with this bum, hmm?” he teased gently.
She turned her face up to his. “I would never sleep with someone I wasn’t in love with.” And she wouldn’t either. She was going to live her life to the best of her ability. She was going to make friends, have causes, know what fun was. And damn it all, just once, just one time, she was going to know real love. When that time came she’d give that man her body, because she wouldn’t have anything else to give him.
“You never told me that. You mean all these idiots you date…”
She sat up abruptly, would have jumped from his lap, but his arms came up to circle her slender form, effectively holding her prisoner. She glared at him, furious. “Is that what you’ve been thinking of me all this time?” she demanded. “You think I just go to bed with anyone at all?”
Actual tears sparkled in her eyes, tugging at his heart. “Of course not, angel face.”
“You’re such a liar, Jess.” She shoved at the solid wall of his chest again. “Let go of me. I mean it. Right now.”
“Not like this, Saber. We’ve never had a fight before and I don’t want to start now.”
For a moment she stayed stiff, holding herself away from him, but she couldn’t stay angry with Jess. With a small sigh, Saber lay back against him, the tension draining out of her. His arms were the only place she ever felt safe. The darkness was everywhere, waiting, watching. She could almost hear it breathing, waiting for her to climb the stairs and go to her lonely room.
She couldn’t remember clearly the first time Jess had pulled her onto his lap, probably after one of his outrageous races, but it had always been the same. The moment his arms closed around her, she felt as if she never wanted to leave. Maybe that was why she’d allowed their relationship to go so far. It was why she’d stayed too long and taken too many chances. She couldn’t bear the thought of walking away from him, and that made her just plain stupid.
“So, are you going to hide from me or are you going to accept my apology?” His chin rubbed the top of her hair.
“If that’s the way you apologize,” she sniffed indignantly, “I’m not sure I will ever forgive you. I don’t like what you think of me.”
“I think the world of you, and you know it.” He tugged at a particularly intriguing curl. “Is, ‘I’m sorry,’ good enough?”
“I hope we never get into a really serious fight.” Saber slapped at his hand, but she was more irritated at herself than him. She could stay right where she was forever, just inhaling him, feeling the muscles of his body and the warmth of him spreading through her with a luxurious heat she’d never known before.
He laughed softly, the sound feathering down her spine like the cool touch of fingers.
Instantly Saber lifted her head, horrified at the disturbing sensations in her body. “I’d better go upstairs, Jesse, and let you get some sleep.” Because if she didn’t get away from him, she might make a fool of herself and give in to the urge to feather kisses up and down his throat and over his jaw and find his oh-so-disturbing mouth…She jumped up, her heart pounding.
Reluctantly he allowed her to escape. “I know you better than that, baby; you’ll go upstairs and keep me up all night with your ridiculous pacing. Go get your bathing suit on, we can go swimming.”
Her face lit up. “You mean it?”
“Go,” he ordered.
She walked across the hardwood floor to the bottom of the stairs and paused to look back at him. In the dim light he could see her perfect profile, breasts thrusting invitingly against the thin material of her pale blouse. His body tightened even more, hardened into a painful, familiar ache that wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. Jess cursed beneath his breath, knowing he would spend another endless night, like so many others, craving the feel of her soft skin and haunting blue eyes. He’d never had a reaction to a woman the way he did to Saber. He couldn’t keep her out of his mind, and if she was anywhere near, his body hit overdrive in seconds.
Hell, she didn’t even have to be near to him. The sound of her voice over the radio, her scent lingering in the air, her laughter, and God help him, just the thought of her turned his body into one painful ache.
“Thanks, Jesse, I knew you wouldn’t let me down. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He watched her walk up the stairs, thinking about her words. It was the second time she had made that statement to him tonight. And there had been a new note in her voice. Wondering? Was she finally noticing he was more than a man in a wheelchair? That wasn’t fair; half the time she didn’t seem to notice the wheelchair, but she didn’t seem to notice the man either.
He ached for her, fantasized about her, dreamed about her. Sooner or later he was going to have to claim her. Ten months was long enough to know she was wrapped inextricably around his heart. He might be in a wheelchair, his legs useless below the knees, but everything above was in top working order, demanding satisfaction, demanding Saber Wynter.
He sighed aloud. She had no idea she had knocked at the devil’s door and he’d invited her in. He had no intention of giving her up.
Saber turned on every lamp on her way through her sitting room to her bedroom. She stood at the window, staring up at the stars. What was happening to her? Jess had taken her in-against his better judgment, she was certain. They had become best friends almost immediately. They liked the same movies, the same music, they talked for hours about everything, anything. She laughed with Jess. She could be the real Saber Winter with Jess. Outrageous, sad, happy, it never seemed to matter to him what she said or did-he simply accepted her.
Lately she had been so restless, lying in bed thinking of him, of his smile, the sound of his laughter, the width of his shoulders. He was a handsome, athletic man, wheelchair or not. And living in such close proximity to him often made her forget the wheelchair completely. He was totally self-sufficient, cooking for himself, dressing himself, driving himself all over town. He bowled, played Ping-Pong, and every day without fail, he lifted weights and went swimming. She had seen his body. It was that of a top athlete. His arm muscles were so developed he could barely touch his fingertips to his shoulders; his biceps kept bumping. Jess had told her the nerves below his knees had been damaged severely, and were irreparable.
He disappeared for hours into his office, the one room she never went into, and he kept it locked up tight. She’d caught glimpses of high-end computer equipment, and she knew he liked gadgets, that he had been in the Navy-a SEAL team-and still received countless calls from his friends, but he kept that part of his life away from her and it was just as well.
Did he think of women? They certainly thought of him. She had seen dozens of women flirting with him. And why not? Good looking, wealthy, talented, the sweetest man in Wyoming, Jess was a great catch for anyone. He owned the local radio station where she worked, and he did other things as well, things he wasn’t so forthcoming about, but it mattered little to her. She just wanted to be close to him.
Her fist closed over her lacy curtain, bunching material in her fist. Why was she thinking these stupid thoughts about a man she could never have? She didn’t deserve to be with a man like Jess Calhoun. He never complained, never talked down to her. He was arrogant, used to being obeyed, no question about it, but he always made her feel special. He was exceptional, extraordinary, and she was…she was going to have to leave soon.
Idly, she let her gaze stray to the road. For a moment her heart stopped. A car was parked in the trees just beyond the security gates. A tiny red circle glowed brightly as the occupant inhaled on a cigarette. Everything in her froze, became utterly still, her breath catching in her throat. Her heart began to race and her fingers twisted the material of the curtains until her knuckles turned white.
Then she could see the couple necking, the man struggling to hang on to his girl and the lit cigarette. Most of the tension slipped from her body. Of course. This was a perfect parking place, a dead-end road.
Ten months ago, Saber had turned down that same road thinking she would avoid people. She had actually
