CHAPTER 20
Pleasure burst through Jaimie like champagne bubbles. She felt warm and drowsy, her body coming awake inch by slow inch. She felt Mack’s body wrapped tightly around hers, his hands stroking over her skin with familiar knowledge, his mouth nuzzling her breast. She laughed softly, feeling complete. She loved waking up to him-to this. She closed her eyes and let the feeling take her, sweeping through her bloodstream on a tide of pure heat.
“You awake, baby?” Mack whispered against her bare skin, his teeth nibbling gently over the swell of her breast.
Jaimie slid her hands over his back, up to his hair. “Yes. I love waking up to you.”
“I’ve been lying here next to you most of the night thinking about us.” He pressed kisses along the valley between her breasts up to her throat. He propped himself up on one elbow, leaning over her, his dark gaze moving broodingly over her face. Her heart jumped. She’d known this was coming since the rescue of the children. Mack had to go back where he belonged. She’d gotten used to being with him, with the others. The others had left a few days earlier and she and Mack had spent days just worshipping each other’s bodies. They rarely left the bed for anything other than food and drink and to watch the ocean under a blanket of stars. She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to lose him again; it was going to tear out her heart. She made a move to roll out from under him but he moved with his incredible speed and pinned her there. His hand on her shoulder was extremely gentle, yet she felt the steel in him, reminding her of the ease with which he’d carried the teenager through the embassy grounds and then leapt the fence with him. She’d never forget the sight of Mack moving fast, the boy slung over his back, his face determined. Her heart fluttered. He’d been born a warrior. He’d been born to lead. She didn’t want to give him back, but she knew he had to go. He’d averted a nuclear war. She couldn’t keep him in her bed, tied to her.
Jaimie took a deep breath and braced herself, reluctantly meeting his eyes.
“Come back to me, Jaimie. I need you to come back,” Mack said softly. He pressed his finger over her mouth when she frowned and took a breath. “Listen to me. I laid here for hours figuring things out. You’re part of me and when I don’t have you, I can’t breathe right, let alone function. You make me whole. You keep me mellow. You’re the best person I know. I can talk about anything with you. Most of all, when I’m out there doing what I do, you’re the reason I do it. You’re the reason I know I’m going to make it back.” He brushed his mouth back and forth over hers in small, coaxing caresses. “With you, Jaimie, I’ve got everything. Without you, there isn’t much to life.”
“Mack, you said…” Jaimie’s heart was beating so hard she was afraid he could hear.
“I know what I said, Jaimie. It was bullshit. I want a home. With you. A family. You are my family. You want children, we’ll have them. I don’t give a damn how many. Maybe a dozen so you don’t think about walking out on me again.”
She knew her shock showed on her face. She’d been dreading the moment he left, knowing he would be ripping out her heart, but she hadn’t expected him to ask her to go with him. “But…” Her business. Her warehouse. Everything she’d worked for. Could she give it all up and follow him? To what? He’d be gone more than he’d be with her. But could she live, really live, without him?
“I know what I’m asking, Jaimie. I do. I want to wake up every morning to you. I want to sit in a rocking chair with you when we’re old. I want to laugh with you, cry with you. I also know what kind of life I’m offering.”
“Do you, Mack?” she asked. Because she’d shared the danger of missions with him and when he went out, she’d know exactly how bad it really was. She’d have to sit at home waiting, scared, alone. Completely alone.
His fingers bunched in her curls. “Of course I do, Jaimie. I took you for granted. I’m not going to pretend I didn’t or that it won’t happen again. And I’m bossy. I won’t pretend I don’t know the way I am. I can be jealous and stupid when it comes to you, but no one will ever love you the way I do. I detest that word. It doesn’t say half of what I feel for you. Everyone loves ice cream. You’re my world. My heart. I know what I’m asking, Jaimie. And I know you’ve built something here. I’ll help you build it again with me.”
She opened her mouth twice before anything came out. “I wasn’t expecting this, Mack. I’m not prepared.”
He leaned in and kissed her, not above bribing her or seducing her if it worked. Her mouth was magic, warm and soft and filled with passion, with fire, with everything Jaimie. His mouth left hers reluctantly. He pressed his forehead against hers. “Come back to me, baby.”
“I don’t know if I can,” she whispered, terrified of losing him, of losing herself. She’d fought hard to be her own person. “People establish patterns and we fell into one that wasn’t so good. What makes you think it will be different this time?”
He kissed her chin, the corners of her mouth. His teeth tugged on her lower lip and he brushed kisses there too. “Because I’m different. So are you. I know we’re good together. I’m better with you than on my own.”
Jaimie sat up, needing to put space between them. She couldn’t think when he was holding her, when his body was wrapped so strong and protectively around hers. When she felt their energies connected, as if they shared the same skin with one heart beating between them. Not when he was saying words she’d always dreamt he’d say to her. She slid out of bed and paced a couple of steps away, the only safe way to say what needed saying.
Jaimie looked at his face. The hard angles and planes. His firm mouth and strong jaw. Everything she needed was right there. But he was born for something far more and he loved what he did. Loved it. He wasn’t going to stop and he shouldn’t. But she didn’t fit into that world. Tears clogged her throat, burned together into a lump she couldn’t swallow.
She fought to keep her voice even. “You know I can’t. I built a business here, Mack. I work for Sergeant Major, but he leaves me alone. If I went back…” She trailed off, her voice trembling.
Mack dropped his head in his hands and stayed there for a long moment, bracing himself. He knew, in the end, it would come to this. This was going to hurt bad-very bad. He just hadn’t expected such a wrench. She’d sacrificed for him once and he’d thrown it away. He could see her point. He straightened, his eyes meeting hers. “Then I’ll quit.”
She blinked. Shock registered. She actually took a step backward. “Mack. Don’t be crazy. You can’t quit.” Comprehension dawned. Her trembling mouth firmed.
“They won’t let you quit. You know that, but I appreciate the gesture.”
“It’s no gesture, Jaimie. From the moment I woke up on Whitney’s table and realized all of us had not only been psychically enhanced, but genetically altered as well, I knew we had to plan for a future. I’ve been doing that and the boys have all joined with me. It’s a little earlier than I’d planned for, but we can disappear if we need to.”
“How?” she demanded. “I thought I was out, and look what happened. They manipulated me from the moment I left our house. Every contract, every person I came into contact with. I’m still working for them. And they sent Joe. It was an elaborate babysitting operation. I’m not even certain what’s going to happen now. I doubt they’ll leave me completely alone ever, not as long as I’m useful to them.”
“They won’t,” Mack agreed. “But if you’re certain that’s what you want, we have a plan, and the money to do it.”
Shivering, she picked up her robe and wrapped herself in it. “How would you get the money, Mack? It would take a
“Not necessarily. We’re privy to information others might not have. Javier can invest and play the stock market for us when we know we’re about to hit something that will affect the market. It’s not exactly kosher, but we’ve pooled our money. Team Two, the SEAL team, has a fortress in the mountains. They’ve banded together and have a training center right there. We can do something similar. The boys have been researching places if we want to settle and stay in, but also possible retirement areas we can defend.”
Jaimie shook her head. “Mack, you would never be happy in retirement. You know you wouldn’t.”
“What do I have without you, Jaimie?” He looked up at her. “I’m serious. How many times can I go out and come back to nothing? After a while you lose your incentive.”
She turned away from him and looked down at her hands. She was trembling. With fear. She wanted Mack, but did she want him to give up everything he was for her? Was that the price she wanted him to pay because he’d hurt her? She detested that she’d put him in this position. “Mack.” Her voice was gentle. Aching. “You’d grow to hate me. You live for this.”
“I live for you. I
