mock-up sleigh, collecting for a local charity. Noisy, joyful, it was a world away from Christmas as she knew it.
‘What do you need?’ George asked.
This. This normality. This man, she thought, as she looked up at him and for a moment the carols, the lights faded.
‘Annie?’
This moment, she thought, refusing to think about next week.
‘Just a few basic essentials. Underwear, another pair of jeans-these are a bit big,’ she said, tugging at the waist. ‘Nothing fancy.’
‘I know just the place,’ Xandra said. She paused at the entrance to a large store, glanced at her father. ‘You might want to give this a miss.’
‘If you think you can scare me away with threats of female undergarments, think again.’
‘You are so embarrassing.’
‘I understood it was a parent’s duty to embarrass their offspring,’ he replied, unmoved.
‘Oh, please! I’ll wait here,’ she said, taking out her cellphone, her thumb already busy texting before she reached the nearest bench.
‘I won’t be long,’ Annie said, then, realising that he wasn’t going to let her out of his sight, proceeded to test his assertion. Faced with the choice between six-packs of pants in plain white, mixed colours or patterned, she asked him to choose.
He took all three packs and dropped them in the basket, lips firmly sealed.
She tried on jeans while he stood guard at the changing room door, modelling them for him. By the time they reached the socks he’d had enough and, after looking down at her feet, he gathered up a pair of each before she could tease him further.
‘Spoilsport,’ she said.
‘You’d better believe it,’ he said.
She added a sweater and three tops to the basket and then queued up to pay.
‘That was fun,’ she said, handing the bags to George and waving to Xandra before obediently slipping her hand through the elbow he’d stuck out. ‘What now?’
‘Food?’ he suggested, heading for a van from which the tantalising smell of frying onions was wafting. ‘Who fancies a hot dog?’
‘Not for me,’ Xandra said, backing away. ‘I need some shampoo. Can I get you anything, Annie?’
‘Please.’ By the time she’d given Xandra some money, George had a halfeaten hot dog in one hand. ‘Are they good?’
‘You’ve never had one?’ He shook his head. ‘Stupid question.’
He ordered two. ‘I missed lunch,’ he said, catching her look as he sucked mustard from his thumb.
‘Me too,’ she said, holding his gaze as she took one of them from him.
He looked away first, which wasn’t as pleasing as it should have been and, taking the only comfort on offer, she bit deep into the bun, reminding herself that she was in search of new experiences.
Who knew when she’d share another hot dog moment with a seriously sexy man?
It must have been the fumes of the mustard hitting the back of her throat that brought tears to her eyes, making her choke.
‘Better?’ George asked, helpfully thumping her back. Leaving his hand there.
‘Not much,’ she said, dropping the remains of the hot dog in the bin. ‘It’s been quite a day for new experiences.’
He removed his hand as if burned. ‘What’s keeping Xandra?’
She sighed. ‘She said she’d meet us by the Christmas tree in the square.’
All the trees that surrounded the square had white lights threaded through their bare branches, creating a fairyland arena for the seasonal ice rink that had been created in the central plaza and throwing the huge Christmas tree, ablaze with colour, into vivid contrast.
But it wasn’t the figures on the ice or the lights that brought George to an abrupt halt. It was the sight of his daughter, sitting on a bench, much too close to the boy from the Christmas tree farm.
‘The damned lights were just an excuse to come into town and meet him,’ he declared but, as he surged forward, Annie stepped in front of him, a hand on his chest.
‘They could have met by chance.’
He looked at her. ‘Do you really believe that?’
‘Does it matter? She chose to wait and come into town with you.’
‘She wanted to come on her own.’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, I could shake you!’ She took a deep breath, then, slowly, talking to him as if he were a child, she said, ‘Don’t you understand? Xandra got herself suspended from school deliberately. Mrs Warburton would have let her go and visit her grandfather in hospital, but she didn’t want an afternoon off school. She wanted to be with you.’
‘That’s ridiculous,’ he said. He took another step but Annie didn’t budge. ‘I tried,’ he said. ‘It’s not easy from the other side of the Atlantic, but I’ve tried and tried to be a father-I even applied for joint custody.’
‘The Family Court turned you down?’
‘Penny told them that she would be confused. She was already that. Calling her new husband Daddy, ignoring me. Wouldn’t come and see me in London when I was here on business. Wouldn’t come to the States, even when I offered the theme park incentive.’
‘She doesn’t want theme parks,’ she said. ‘She wants you.’
‘But-’
‘Not in America, not in London, but here.’
He spread his arms, indicating that she’d got what she wanted.
‘That’s just the beginning. She’s not going to make it easy for you. She’ll test you and test you. Keep pushing you away to see how resilient you are. Whether you love her enough to stay.’
‘She knows I love her,’ he protested. ‘I’ve given her everything she’s ever wanted. Ever asked for.’
‘Except yourself. She wants you, here, in her life. Not some Santa figure with a bottomless cheque book, but a father. She’s afraid that you’ve only come to close down the garage, tidy up the loose ends, and she’s desperately afraid that this time when you leave you’ll never come back.’
‘How can you know that?’ he demanded, not wanting to believe it.
‘Because I tested everyone. Not with tears or tantrums, I just withheld myself. Made nannies, governesses, teachers, even my grandfather prove that they weren’t going to go away and never come back, the way my parents had.’
‘I came back.’
‘How often? Once a year? Twice?’ She put her hands on his shoulders, forced him to look at her. ‘How much do you want to be a father?’ she demanded. ‘Final answer.’
‘Enough not to turn a blind eye to hot-wiring cars or making secret plans to meet up with boys.’
‘Right answer,’ she said, with a smile that made the lights seem dim. ‘Come on, let’s go and say hello.’
‘Hello?’ he said, staying put. ‘That’s it?’
‘It’s a start.’
‘But-’
Annie felt for him. She could see that he wanted to go over there and grab that boy by the throat, demand that he never come near his precious little girl.
‘Open your eyes, open your ears, George. Listen to what she’s telling you. She wants you to be part of her life but you’re going to have to accept that she’s a young woman.’
George tore his gaze from his daughter and looked at her advocate. Passionate. Caring.
‘You’re not talking about her,’ he said. ‘You’re talking about yourself.’
She didn’t answer. She didn’t have to. It was obvious. When she was six years old her life had changed for ever. At sixteen she’d become a national icon and had never had the freedom to meet a boy in town. Test herself. Make mistakes.
She knew everything. And nothing. But it was the everything that was important.
‘Okay,’ he said, ‘let’s go and say hello.’
