No other single attribute or talent of the Heterodyne family is so little understood, even today as the ability they refer to as heterodyning. True heterodyning consists of producing an audible frequency that is the exact opposite of an existing audible frequency. These two frequencies ideally “cancel each other out.” Agatha and other Heterodynes claim that they could produce a type of vocal “humming” that reduced or eliminated ambient noise, making it much easier to sink into a Spark enhanced fugue-state.
65
This led to even more exciting experiences with incorruptible gendarmes, state-of-the-art jail cells, and a once-in-a-lifetime-if-you-are-lucky meeting with the Master of Paris himself. When this was done, they were sent home with many exciting memories, several train cars full of purchases, and an assignment to read and write a report on Rousseau’s “Discourse on the Basis of lnequality”.
66
Being French, they used better words than that.
67
Alfons Mucha is one of a handful of recognized Sparks who turned their talents to Art, instead of Science. He believed that aesthetically nature was a superior designer and structural engineer, and so he produced a wide variety of man-made objects that looked as if they had been grown organically. These indeed proved to be stronger and more efficient, but tended to dry up and fall over in the autumn. Alfons also believed that beautiful women should wear as little as possible, and designed many outfits to prove it. Thus, while his architectural business foundered, its give-away calendars were extremely popular.
68
Except to say that, when engaged in the perfectly legitimate art form known as Storytelling amidst the general public, one should always be aware of any and all local ordinances regarding slander, gossip, and defamation of character regarding a town’s leaders, who usually regard freedom of expression as something reserved wholly for themselves. Just saying.
69
This is a phrase in the original language of the Mechanicsburg region, which roughly translates as, “Are you going to eat me?” Any long-time resident of Mechanicsburg will tell you that this is a remarkably useful phrase to know. Your Professor (for yes, this falsely incarcerated person was, in fact Professor Philip Foglio), is, despite the shrill claims of the local Chamber of Commerce, indeed a native-born son of Mechanicsburg.
70
Sparkhunds were a breed of wolf/mastiff hybrids, specially bred to hunt down Sparks. It was inevitable that some of the more perverse Sparks had found the concept amusing, and thus had made their own contributions to the breed. As a result, the Sparkhunds at the time of our story were enormous, semi-intelligent creatures with rudimentary hands and jaws that could tear through armor plating. Naturally they still hunted Sparks, but now they enjoyed it.
71
Many Jagers lose touch with their humanity. This should come as no surprise, considering they were recruited from the Heterodyne’s army of reavers, pillagers, thugs and warriors, who were not chosen for their warmth and sensitivity to begin with. What did come as a surprise, was that to some degree or another, over time, they all regretted this loss. Many of them tried to develop interests and hobbies that tied them to normal people. The Jager, Ognian, took an inordinate amount of interest in his descendants. He maintained records. He kept scrapbooks. He tried to set them up on dates. Thanks to his help, the Professor’s family at the time of our story was dangerously close to going extinct.
72
Luckily, for all concerned, sometime in the past, an anonymous female Spark developed a quiet useful plant, known as “Trusty Maiden Weed”. Due to its invasive qualities, it was now grown throughout Europa. When brewed into a tasty tea, and drunk on a regular basis, it prevented pregnancy, as well as a number of embarrassing diseases. Many traveling shows harvested it as they moved about and did a brisk business selling it in town. It was a rare woman who skipped her morning Maiden’s Cup.
73
At this time, it was the practice of Wulfenbach forces during an invasion to shackle prisoners and then drive a large metal staple into a nearby wall, so they could be collected later. A territory as large as the Empire was always looking for trained soldiers, and very few of rank and file were themselves driven by ideological ideals. Usually they were conscripts, draftees, mercenaries or such, and thus, when offered the choice of being cut loose with one month’s pay or being allowed to join the well-fed, well-paid and well-dressed armies of the Pax Transylvania, many of them joined up without hesitation.
74
A very long time indeed.
