the honking horn, you know what I mean?”
I shake my head.
“The distraction. The feint. The thing that causes the mark to look one way when death is coming from the other direction.”
“Bait?”
“Look at me. Do I look like bait?”
“I meant…”
“I know what you meant. Sure, I’d meet a few of the marks. Get ’em to a particular spot Doug would designate in the run-up. That was tough for me, I gotta say. It’s one thing to see these targets from afar, another to shake their hands, hear them speak, watch ’em smile or what not.”
“The last job…”
“Yeah, I’m getting there. I’d been off for a while. I know Doug was taking contracts and fulfilling them without me. Two or three in a row and truth be told, I didn’t mind. I thought I’d like the adventure of it, the game, you know, but when I was lying in bed each night, I’d think about those men I helped put under, and I had a real hard time closing my eyes.”
She’s checking my face, looking for a sympathetic nod, but I give her nothing. She blows a bit on the top of her coffee before taking a sip.
“Anyway, he’d been home for a while and I knew he must’ve gotten a new gig because he spent a lot of time down in the basement. I’m talking a good two months, only coming up for a meal, a smoke, a bathroom break, or bed. I figured he was going to work this one solo, but this particular Sunday, he calls me down there.
“This is a simple one, he tells me. Police detective in Boston who drinks too much. This cop must’ve tossed the wrong guy in the can, because there’s a price on his head and Doug is collecting. The procuring fence wanted it to be a tandem, to make sure it went down on a certain day, and Doug convinced the acquiring fence that he’d supply the other contract killer. Me. So this fence…”
“Archie Grant,” I interrupt. I keep mentioning his name to see if it’ll elicit a response, but so far, nothing.
“If you say so. Anyway, Doug tells me this fence is skeptical, but Doug insists on bringing me on, and we can kill two birds with one rock. We’ll work the tandem and we’ll make sure it looks like an accident. I guess that satisfied what’s-his-name, because Doug got the gig and procured the down payment for both hitters.
“I remember thinking, so this is why you want me to work with you now… so you can collect double fees on the same hit. Say what you want about Doug, the man knew how to game a system no matter what it was. You thought you were pulling the strings? That’s only cause he let you think so. He was the one working the puppets, didn’t matter what the play was. It wasn’t till I saw him doing it to others that I realized all these years, he’d been doing the same to me, you know? I guess that’s neither here nor there now, but there it is.
“So getting back to this hit… Doug built this elaborate model of this alleyway in Boston. Painted and sanded and lit up to the very last detail. The bar where this detective liked to drown his sorrows was specially made with a flying roof so he could take it off and you could see inside. It was like nothing you ever saw. This one made the one he did for Cleveland look like a kindergartner’s shitty homework assignment. Doug had little bartenders in there, little dishwashers, little beer mugs, even miniature peanut shells on the floor. The works.
“So he starts talking me through the plan. This mark comes in this joint every Saturday night like clockwork and stays not only till the bar closes, but after the owner locks the front door. The target is chummy with the owner or shaking him down or whatever but he gets special treatment, one last glass of whiskey on the house before the lights go out. The owner’s a salty old Southey who fixes that last highball himself before running receipts in his office until the mark finally heads out the back door.
“So Doug has this plan. It involves me showing up just as the doors close, pretending to be a health inspector. I’m supposed to do a few hocus pocus maneuvers, you know, get the front door locked, slip a roofie in the mark’s drink, keep the owner occupied in his office or the kitchen, wave our target out the back door, and that’s just half of it. Doug’s showing me this elaborate set up he’s got worked out in the alley, real domino rally type stuff, ice on the steps, trip wire on the bottom, a lever that’ll whack his feet out from under him so that he’ll nail the back of his head on the ice, five other things I’m forgetting about. Complicated stuff and his eyes light up as he’s telling me all about it.
“I tell him it’s all too complicated and for just a moment, he looks at me the way he did when I confronted him in the basement when I first found the model. Oooh, boy, if the devil wears a face, that’s what it looks like. I shut up quick and he catches himself like he stepped past the caution signs and straightens up right away but it was there and I saw it. He smiles and tells me how hard he’s worked and how even if it’s a small job getting a drunk to slip on some icy steps, he wants it done right. He’s made a career out of getting it done right and I know better than to pop off again, so I button it and say however he wants to plug this guy is fine with me. I did not want to see that look again, I can assure you that.
“The night of the hit, everything is fine. I’m with Doug running lookout while he sets up the pieces of the trap in the alley. I haven’t seen him work like this and I can tell he’s excited about it, the way he’s moving around, a smile on his face, all hopped up like a football player before a big game, you know? Like a kid on Christmas Eve? He’s wearing a BWSC uniform-Boston Water and Sewer-and a fake beard and all that seemed unnecessary looking back but it made him happy so what the hell was I gonna say? He signals me when the trap is all set, and right on time, I hit the front door, just as the owner is cleaning up. Health Inspector is the best cover you can use with bars or restaurants because no one questions it-the manager or owner is mildly annoyed but always accommodating. This was no different and I got the mickey into the detective’s drink while the owner and he looked up at a fire exit with a faulty light I pointed out. No big deal. It’s amazing how many things people miss each day when they’re made to look in a certain direction, you know? Look at the birdie over there while I take the wallet from your back pocket here. People, for the most part, are suckers.
“The plan goes exactly the way Doug drew it up. I took the owner to his office while he told the cop to head out back. I watched out of the corner of my eye, you know, as our target got up and stumbled off. I counted to a hundred in my mind, all while I was talking about grease traps and proper temperatures on the refrigeration system and where the ‘wash your hands’ signs have to be displayed in the bathroom and I could see the owner’s eyes glaze over.
“Abruptly, I get to a hundred and I tell him everything looks good and he can count on a top notch report and can he let me out the front? Doug had told me the probabilities were he would follow me out since he liked to park his Dodge Charger right out in front of his bar. Sure enough, he comes with me outside and I watch from across the street as he climbs into the muscle car and drives away.”
“So where’s the complication?”
“There wasn’t one, is what I’m saying. Not on this job…”
“So…”
“So I go to meet Doug at the rendezvous spot which is three blocks away, this street corner near a motel and he’s got this smile big as summer on his face, you know? I’ll never forget it. He’s really happy. Says it went off without a hitch. Drunk detective stumbles down the stairs, the lever sweeps his feet, he cracks his skull, out cold. No way he won’t freeze to death. Doug even rigged it so some water would spill off the gutter above him, ensuring the detective would be found as frozen as a popsicle. No other way to rule this one but straight up accidental death.”
“What about the lever?”
“Doug fixed it with a string so he could slide it away. Everything planned to the last detail, like I said. This is how his mind worked.
“He told me all about the kill as we walked toward the car. I remember thinking I hadn’t seen him this happy since before we were married. And I was happy too, as weird as that sounds. I started seeing this life together, this future together. Me and Doug, a team. Other couples can sit on their asses watching the evening news while we’ll be out-I don’t know-changing the world. That’s something you do, you know? You imagine the work you’re doing is for the greater good although it’s probably just settling some small-time scores. Maybe we can make this work, I thought. Maybe this partnership is all we need to make it work between us, better than it ever was before. It seems silly now, but that’s what was going through my head.
All of a sudden, this black van roars around the corner and I get the uneasy feeling it’s coming up on us. You know that feeling? The kind that warms you up even though it’s cold as balls outside? Doug puts his arm around me
