“You seem upset.”
“I just have things to do.”
“Alright, then.” He extended his hand, with the pink palm turned halfway up, for her to shake. “It was very nice meeting you. Maybe I’ll see you again somewhere. Around the neighborhood, maybe.”
She regarded his hand a moment before shaking it once, curtly. Its warmth surprised her. “Maybe.”
He made another of his amiable grins and went off down the stairs with that queer loping stride of his.
She closed the door and, quietly, lest he hear, she slid the chain-lock into its groove.
Margaret tended to see in her three sons very specific aspects of her husband, so that, like a triptych or a tailor’s three-sided mirror, together the boys formed a picture of their father. Joe’s temper and Ricky’s sneakiness- both qualities were inherited from her husband, though in him they had been just facets. Michael’s melancholy had been his father’s, too, though again Joe Senior had managed it better. Fully expressed in Michael, Margaret did not know quite how to respond to it. She had a tin ear for that sort of thing, and she knew it. But she could not help seeing how attractive Michael’s involution was. It was the Irishest thing about him, that melancholy, maybe the only genuinely Irish thing-though he was vindictive, too, which she also admired-and she felt that even when he made good-when he finally got married and moved to the suburbs and “passed” for a Harvard Yankee the way some coloreds passed as white-he would still have that Irish fatalism in him, that little bit of unsmiling Dorchester to stain him forever.
It was to Michael that she confided her unease about that odd boy Kurt Lindstrom. She waited till evening to phone him, and she related the story in an offhand way-“…oh, the strangest thing, dear…”-which was her habit. Fortress Margaret did not betray her upset; even her husband’s sudden death had been endured without keening or self-pity. But in her indirect way, she signaled something was not right. Michael’s reaction surprised her. He ordered his mother to go next door immediately and call Joe to come get her. Michael was going to speak with Lindstrom himself, to set him straight. Maybe he would bring Ricky along, too. The decisions and the tone were so far out of character, Margaret did not know what to make of it. In their brief conversation, Michael never did inform her who on earth this Kurt Lindstrom was.
That she followed his orders anyway, without question, and that Joe then did the same, seemed momentous to Margaret. Without discussion, the captaincy of the family was passing to diffident, moody Michael, who wanted it least and who, Margaret had always assumed, was the least fit for it. She remembered him at four years old when he had got sick with spinal meningitis. The doctor had set his chances at fifty-fifty. She could still picture Michael in his hospital bed, arching his back in agony like a small animal. He had survived, of course, which his father interpreted as a sign of the little boy’s strength. Margaret read it the other way: her middle son was fragile, weakened. The runt of the litter, bracketed by her two indestructible mastiffs. Now Michael was the one issuing orders to her.
And Margaret herself? She was not old, not yet, but she was-what? Obsolescent. Irrelevant. Her sons did not come to her for advice anymore; they did not want her opinions. If Joe Senior had been alive…well, no sense in thinking that way. What if did not matter, only what is. So the time had come to start taking orders from her boys. Okay, then. Alright. So be it. But she meant to share this thought with Brendan sometime: It was murderous, ruthless, the way younger generations rose up to displace older ones.
53
Once he’d decided on the crime, he was no longer one of them.
They crowded past on the sidewalk. Raucous college girls with pale necks and arms, laughing, stumbling arm in arm, celebrating the first summery evening of spring. An old couple shuffling toward Symphony Hall. Negroes traipsing back to the Mass. Ave. bridge, to the South End, completing their daily migration. They did not know that tonight was special, tonight there would be violence.
Michael knew.
In the pocket of his Baracuta jacket, clasped in his right fist, was a rock. At least it had looked like a rock when he’d first picked it up; on closer inspection it had turned out to be a chunk of concrete. It was heavy, roughly the shape of an egg, fractionally larger than his own fist. Pebbles were embedded in its stippled surface. This concrete egg fit his hand and had a pleasing heft like a well-made tool. And like a well-made tool it had an inviting quality: To hold it was to want to use it.
Ricky sat nearby, on a stoop, smoking a butt. “Sit down, Mikey. Don’t make a fuss.”
“Don’t feel like sitting down.”
“You’re making a fuss.”
“I’m not making a fuss. I just don’t feel like sitting down, alright?”
“Alright. So stand. I’m just sayin’, you’re gonna call attention.”
“I’m just standing here. What am I gonna call attention?”
“Alright. I’m just sayin’.”
That rock in Michael’s pocket felt like a mistake, and he seemed to see himself walking away, down Symphony Road toward St. Stephen Street, innocent, empty-handed.
But he could see the appeal of it, too, of lashing out. Armed, ready for action, he no longer felt quite as powerless against the accumulating anxiety. The city and the country beset by enemies. DeSalvo behind bars, but not the Strangler, not Amy’s killer certainly. And now the newspapers were speculating that Khrushchev had been behind the Kennedy assassination, still intent on establishing missiles in Cuba to menace us. Meanwhile, the city government had announced the demolition of yet another neighborhood, Barry’s Corner in Brighton, triggering a small revolt. Enemies without, conspiracies within. Hidden forces at work. Certainly the Daleys were acquainted with this mood, schooled as they were in the whole impacted Irish thing-a half millennium of impotent, irredentist, mythologized victimhood. At some point wasn’t it easier just to pick up a rock?
At last, Lindstrom rounded the corner from Hemenway Street with that jangling loose-limbed walk.
“That’s him,” Ricky said.
Michael glanced up and down the block, and saw no pedestrians, which he took to be a sign that his project was blessed, inevitable. Fate would not grant him a nosy old woman or an alert cop, a prudent excuse to abandon his duty. He started across the street.
“Kurt Lindstrom?”
Lindstrom’s face grew puzzled. “Yeah?”
Michael drew the rock out of his pocket. He meant to raise it above his shoulder, to smash it down on the crown of Lindstrom’s head. But he did not. He thought of Lindstrom in Margaret’s kitchen. He thought of Amy Ryan. His right arm felt paralyzed.
Lindstrom eyed the rock. He took a cautious half-step into the alley, away from Michael. “Yeah?” he repeated.
Michael stepped toward him, but already he knew he would not attack. Already he was asking himself, How far did he intend to take this? If he started, where would he stop? He stood there.
“You stay away from Margaret Daley,” Michael said.
“Margaret? You mean the lovely woman with the groceries?”
“Just stay away.” Michael let go of the rock. It clattered on the pavement.
“Is it a crime to help a woman with her groceries?”
There was a sound. Michael turned to see Ricky coming to join them. Ricky’s face registered nothing. Michael was about to tell him it was all over, that he’d said his piece, there was no need for anything more, but Ricky did not stop to listen, did not acknowledge his brother at all.
Ricky picked up the rock at Michael’s feet, and in three quick stabbing gestures he smashed the butt end of the rock down on Lindstrom’s head. There were two hollow-sounding knocks, the rock striking the helmet of bone under a thin layer of hair and tissue. The third blow made no sound.
With each strike, Lindstrom crumbled a little further until he was kneeling on the pavement, hands pressed to the sides of his head. His blond hair was speckled with red. On his knees, forehead nearly touching the ground, Lindstrom’s shirt went snug against his back, revealing a thin torso scooped along the sides like a woman’s. The spine rose up in the center, a ridge of peaked bones.
