parts of their bodies, others are either born or molded into masking emotions. That’s why I consider him a borderline case. I believe his emotional responses are suppressed, not missing altogether, although I can’t be certain of that diagnosis.”
“I’m assuming guilt would be missing as well?” Nathan asked.
“Definitely. As a child, he would’ve had a hard time distinguishing between right and wrong. What all of us instinctively know as being wrong, say like mistreating an animal, is missing, or more accurately, short-circuited. The safety mechanism is bypassed, or it’s missing altogether. He doesn’t feel any regret for the Sacramento bombing. None.”
Henning visibly stiffened a little.
“What about his brother, Leonard?” Nathan asked. “What would Ernie feel toward him?”
“Loyalty isn’t clearly defined as an emotion. In fact, I don’t think it’s an emotional state of mind per se. I mention it because Ernie Bridgestone is extremely loyal to his older brother. He talked about Leonard often.”
“In what way?” Nathan asked.
“Mostly about their childhood. Their father was abusive. Brutally so, I’m afraid, and their mother didn’t intervene. A common belief among psychologists is that the first year of a baby’s life is perhaps the most important. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ernie had also been neglected for long periods of time. Try to imagine it: An infant cries because it’s hungry or lonely, but there’s no one there to feed or comfort it, to give it the tactile feedback it needs to feel secure and loved. Think of it, an infant screaming into the dark, isolated and alone, for hours, maybe even days.” Fitzgerald shook his head. “It’s cruel beyond comprehension. I truly believe Ernie is the product of such an environment. Leonard is a few years older, so he might have filled in where his mother didn’t. It would explain the strong family bond Ernie feels toward Leonard.”
“Isn’t it reasonable to assume Leonard was subjected to the same neglect?” Henning asked. “And wouldn’t he then have the same condition?”
“Yes and no. I believe he was, but some people can overcome such trauma through intellect. My own father, for example. He was from a broken and abusive home, but he became a valuable member of society, putting himself through medical school and becoming a Naval flight surgeon. He was also a loving father to me and my sisters. He broke the cycle. Some can, some can’t, or more accurately, some won’t. They justify their negative behavior by blaming someone else. This act of blaming, of being a victim, if you will, becomes part of their pathology.”
Nathan nodded his understanding. “Would Ernie have been able to form a meaningful relationship with anyone other than his brother? We know he was married.”
“The answer is yes, but it depends on what you mean by meaningful.”
“Love, would he be capable of love?”
“I’d have to say no. At least not in the way we think of it. His love would be based on actions, not emotion. I’ll give you an example. Let’s say Ernie comes home from work and his wife hasn’t cleaned up the kitchen from breakfast. She’s tired or having a bad day, or whatever. Ernie would interpret the dirty dishes in the sink as a sign she didn’t love him. Follow?”
Nathan nodded. “Tough situation. She’d never be able to do enough to prove her love.”
“That’s exactly right. A relationship like that is doomed from the start. No matter what she did, it would never be good enough because the emotional bond is missing. When people are truly in love with each other, small things are forgiven and forgotten. Not so with a devoid. Seeing those dirty dishes is like a slap in the face. He doesn’t look at the dishes with compassion and ask her if anything’s wrong, he just sees them as indication she doesn’t love him. Living with a devoid would be the ultimate walk on eggshells.”
“Why would someone stay with a person like that?” Henning asked.
“The simplest answer is love. She loved him and was willing to put up with his shortcomings. There are other reasons. She might’ve had nowhere else to go, or she was convinced she could change him if she only did this. None of it would make a difference. The tragic reality is, unless Ernie gets comprehensive psychiatric help, he’ll never change. He’ll never come to terms with who and what he is. I was beginning to make some real progress with him just before he was released. You have to remember, on some level these people instinctively know there’s something’s wrong with them, they just don’t know what it is or how it happened. To use a simplistic example, take cats. If kittens are exposed to human love and affection within the first few weeks of their lives, they become pets. If not, they’re feral. Of course, it’s not that simple with humans, but the principle’s basically the same. Unless an infant receives the stimuli needed to feel safe and secure, it’s guaranteed to grow up with emotional problems to one degree or another.”
“What’s his prognosis?”
“Unless he receives comprehensive therapy, hopeless. He won’t change. He can’t. To use a metaphor, he’ll spend the rest of his life barking at the moon.”
“What did you talk about?” Nathan asked. “I mean generally. You know. What did Ernie think his problems were?”
“That’s easy,” said Fitzgerald. “It was the drunk-driving incident that landed him here. He claimed he was railroaded.”
“Was he?”
“I reviewed the police reports and eyewitness accounts. There’s no question Ernie was legally drunk, but not overly so. From everything I remember reading, it wasn’t truly his fault. The woman walked out from between two parked cars. Even if he hadn’t been drinking, she still would’ve died. She was quite drunk herself.”
“But railroaded?” Nathan asked. “It sounds like you actually give that some credence.”
“I do give it some credence. Some, mind you.” Fitzgerald paused, trying to remember. “I don’t recall her name, but I think she was from a family of some influence. Justice acted swiftly in the case, that’s for sure. I kept copies of the newspaper articles in Ernie’s file. He griped about it a lot, to the point of being obsessive, swore to get revenge someday. He also never believed he got a fair court-martial.”
“They’re all innocent,” Henning said.
“Point taken,” Fitzgerald said. “But if the circumstances had been slightly different, there may not have been any charges leveled at all.”
“We’ll check it out,” Nathan said. “Please send us everything you have on Ernie’s DUI conviction.”
“Will do.”
Nathan stood, shook hands, and gave Dr. Fitzgerald a business card with his cell and fax numbers handwritten on the back. Henning did the same. “I really appreciate you talking to us.”
“To be honest, it wasn’t my decision. I got a call from the USDB’s commanding officer, who got a call from the fort’s commanding officer, who had received a call from the Chief of Staff of the Army.”
“One last thing,” Fitzgerald said. “Watch yourselves. They don’t come more vicious than Ernie Bridgestone.”
Chapter 15
On the drive out of the fort, Nathan and Henning rode in silence. They didn’t want to discuss anything in front of the cabbie. Back at the motel, Nathan paid the fare and offered a generous tip.
Walking through the lobby, Nathan asked, “So, what do you think?”
Henning shook his head. “That stuff about teaching a kid to smile was creepy.”
“Yeah, it’s weird, all right.”
“What do you think?”
“What I think,” Nathan said, “is that wherever we go next, we should rent a car. It’d be better than taking taxis all over creation.”
“So where do we go next?”
“Fresno, to pay Amber Sheldon a visit.” Nathan looked at his watch. “I want to keep moving. When we find her, we won’t have time to conduct a prolonged surveillance. We’ll take the direct approach and knock on her door.”
“Just like that?”
