The Slippery Slope

'Or my sister and brother,' Quigley said.

'Let's signal back,' Klaus said. 'Do you still have those Verdant Flammable Devices, Quigley?'

'Of course,' Quigley said, taking the box of green tubes out of his backpack, 'but Bruce saw my matches and confiscated them, because children shouldn't play with matches.'

'Confiscated them?' Klaus said. 'Do you think he's an enemy of V.F.D.?'

'If everyone who said that children shouldn't play with matches was an enemy of V.F.D.,' Violet said with a smile, 'then we wouldn't have a chance of survival.'

'But how are we going to light these without matches?' Quigley asked.

Violet reached into her pocket. It was a bit tricky to tie her hair up in a ribbon, as all four drafts in the Valley of Four Drafts were blowing hard, but at last her hair was out of her eyes, and the gears and levers of her inventing mind began to move as she gazed up at the mysterious signal.

But of course this signal was neither a volunteer nor a trap. It was a baby, with unusually large teeth and a way of talking that some people found confusing. When Sunny Baudelaire had said 'lox,' for example, the member of Count Olaf's troupe had assumed she was simply babbling, rather than explaining how she was going to cook the salmon that the hook-handed man had caught. 'Lox' is a word which refers to smoked salmon, and it is a delicious way to enjoy freshly caught fish, particularly if one has the appropriate accoutrements, a phrase which here means 'bagels, cream cheese, sliced cucumber, black pepper, and capers, which can be eaten along with the lox for an enjoyable meal.' Lox also has an additional benefit of producing quite a bit of smoke as it is prepared, and this is the reason Sunny chose this method of preparing salmon, as opposed to gravlax, which is salmon marinated for several days in a mixture of spices, or sashimi, which is salmon cut into pleasing shapes and simply served raw. Remembering what Count Olaf had said about being able to see everything and everyone from the peak where he had brought her, the youngest Baudelaire realized that the phrase 'where there's smoke there's fire' might be able to help her. As Violet and Klaus heard Quigley's extraordinary tale at the bottom of the frozen waterfall, Sunny hurried to prepare lox and send a signal to her siblings, who she hoped were nearby. First, she nudged the Verdant Flammable Device — which she, like everyone at the peak, believed was a cigarette — into a small patch of weeds, in order to increase the smoke. Then she dragged over the covered casserole dish that she had been using as a makeshift bed, and placed the salmon inside it. In no time at all, the fish caught by the hook-handed man were absorbing the heat and smoke from the simmering green tube, and a large plume of green smoke was floating up into the sky above Mount Fraught. Sunny gazed up at the signal she made and couldn't help smiling. The last time she had been separated from her siblings, she had simply waited in the birdcage for them to come and rescue her, but she had grown since then, and was able to take an active part in defeating Count Olaf and his troupe while still having time to prepare a seafood dish 'Something smells delicious,' said one of the white-faced women, walking by the casserole dish. 'I must admit, I had some doubts that an infant should be in charge of the cooking, but your salmon recipe seems like it will be very tasty indeed.'

'There's a word for the way she's preparing the fish,' the hook-handed man said, 'but I can't remember what it is.'

'Lox,' Sunny said, but no one heard her over the sound of Count Olaf storming out of his tent, followed by Esmй and the two sinister visitors. Olaf was clutching the Snicket file and glaring down at Sunny with his shiny, shiny eyes.

'Put that smoke out at once!' he ordered. 'I thought you were a terrified orphan prisoner, but I'm beginning to think you're a spy!'

'What do you mean, Olaf?' asked the other white-faced woman. 'She's using Esmй's cigarette to cook us some fish.'

'Someone might see the smoke,' Esmй snarled, as if she had not been smoking herself just moments ago. 'Where there's smoke, there's fire.'

The man with a beard but no hair picked up a handful of snow and threw it onto the weeds, extinguishing the Verdant Flammable Device. 'Who are you signaling to, baby?' he asked, in his strange, hoarse voice. 'If you're a spy, we're going to toss you off this mountain.'

'Goo goo,' Sunny said, which meant something along the lines of 'I'm going to pretend I'm a helpless baby, instead of answering your question.'

'You see?' the white-faced woman said, looking nervously at the man with a beard but no hair. 'She's just a helpless baby.'

'Perhaps you're right,' said the woman with hair but no beard. 'Besides, there's no reason to toss a baby off a mountain unless you absolutely have to.'

'Babies can come in handy,' Count Olaf agreed. 'In fact, I've been thinking about recruiting more young people into my troupe. They're less likely to complain about doing my bidding.'

'But we never complain,' the hook-handed man said. 'I try to be as accommodating as possible.'

'Enough chitchat,' said the man with a beard but no hair. 'We have a lot of scheming to do, Olaf. I have some information that might help you with your recruiting idea, and according to the Snicket file, there's one more safe place for the volunteers to gather.'

'The last safe place,' said the sinister woman. 'We have to find it and burn it down.'

'And once we do,' Count Olaf said, 'the last evidence of our plans will be completely destroyed. We'll never have to worry about the authorities again.'

'Where is this last safe place?' asked Kevin.

Olaf opened his mouth to answer, but the woman with hair but no beard stopped him with a quick gesture and a suspicious glance down at Sunny. 'Not in front of the toothy orphan,' she said, in her deep, deep voice. 'If she learned what we were up to, she'd never sleep again, and you need your infant servant full of energy. Send her away, and we'll make our plans.'

'Of course,' Olaf said, smiling nervously at the sinister visitors. 'Orphan, go to my car and remove all of the potato chip crumbs from the interior by blowing as hard as you can.'

'Futil,' Sunny said, which meant something like, 'That is an absolutely impossible chore,' but she walked unsteadily toward the car while Olaf's troupe laughed and gathered around the flat rock to hear the new scheme. Passing the extinguished fire and the covered casserole dish where she would sleep that night, Sunny sighed sadly, thinking that her signal plan must have failed. But when she reached Olaf's car and gazed down at the frozen waterfall, she saw something that lightened her spirits, a phrase which here means 'an identical plume of green smoke, coming from the very bottom of the slope.' The youngest Baudelaire looked down at the smoke and smiled.

'Sibling,' she said to herself. Sunny, of course, could not be certain that it was Violet and Klaus who were signaling to her, but she could hope it was so, and hope was enough to cheer her up as she opened the door of the car and began blowing at the crumbs Olaf and his troupe had scattered all over the upholstery.

But at the bottom of the frozen waterfall, the two elder Baudelaires did not feel nearly as hopeful as they stood with Quigley and watched the green smoke disappear from the highest peak.

'Someone put out the Verdant Flammable Device,' Quigley said, holding the green tube to one side so he wouldn't smell the smoke. 'What do you think that means?'

'I don't know,' Violet said, and sighed. 'This isn't working.'

'Of course it's working,' Klaus said. 'It's working perfectly. You noticed that the afternoon sun was reflecting off the frozen waterfall, and it gave you the idea to use the scientific principles of the convergence and refraction of light — just like you did on Lake Lachrymose, when we were battling the leeches. So you used Colette's hand mirror to catch the sun's rays and reflect them onto the end of the Verdant Flammable Device, so we could light it and send a signal.'

'Klaus is right,' Quigley said. 'It couldn't have worked better.'

'Thank you,' Violet said, 'but that's not what I mean. I mean this code isn't working. We still don't know who's up on the peak, or why they were signaling us, and now the signal has stopped, but we still don't know what it means.'

'Maybe we should extinguish our Verdant Flammable Device, too,' Klaus said.

'Maybe,' Violet agreed, 'or maybe we should go up to the top of the waterfall and see for ourselves who is there.'

Quigley frowned, and took out his commonplace book. 'The only way up to the highest peak,' he said, 'is the path that the Snow Scouts are taking. We'd have to go back through the Vernacularly Fastened Door, back down