There was a pause, and the two children could hear cruel peals of laughter coming from the small device in Violet's hand. 'I learned that you are the Baudelaires!' Count Olaf cried in triumph. 'I learned that you three brats followed me here and tricked me with sneaky disguises. But I'm too clever for you!'
Olaf began to laugh again, but over his laughter the two siblings could hear another sound that made them feel as shaky as the caravan. It was Sunny, and she was whimpering in fear.
'Don't hurt her!' Violet cried. 'Don't you dare hurt her!'
'Hurt her?' Count Olaf snarled. 'Why, I wouldn't dream of hurting her! After all, I need one orphan to steal the fortune. First I'm going to make sure both of your parents are dead, and then I'm going to use Sunny to become very, very rich! No, I wouldn't worry about this buck-toothed twerp — not yet. If I were you, I'd worry about yourselves! Say bye-bye to your sister, Baudebrats!'
'But we're tied together,' Klaus said. 'We hitched our caravan to you.'
'Look out the window,' Count Olaf said, and hung up the walkie-talkie. Violet and Klaus looked at one another, and then staggered to their feet and moved the curtain away from the window. The curtain parted as if they were watching a play, and if I were you I would pretend that this is a play, instead of a book — perhaps a tragedy, written by William Shakespeare — and that you are leaving the theater early to go home and hide under a sofa, because you will recall that there was a certain expression that, I'm sorry to say, must be used three times before this story is over, and it is in the thirteenth chapter when this expression will be used for the third time. The chapter is very short, because the end of this story happened so quickly that it does not take many words to describe, but the chapter does contain the third occasion requiring the expression 'the belly of the beast,' and you would be wise to leave before the chapter begins, because that time didn't count.
Chapter Thirteen
With the curtain parted, Violet and Klaus looked out the window and gasped at what they saw. In front of them was Count Olaf's long, black automobile, winding its crooked way up the road toward the peaks of the Mortmain Mountains, with the freaks' caravan tied to the bumper. They could not see their baby sister, who was trapped in the front seat with Olaf and his villainous girlfriend, but they could imagine how frightened and desperate she was. But the older Baudelaires also saw something that made them frightened and desperate, and it was something they had never thought to imagine.
Hugo was leaning out of the back window of the automobile, his hump hidden in the oversized coat Esmй Squalor had given him as a present, and he was holding tight to Colette's ankles. The contortionist had twisted her body around to the back of the car so that her head was lying on the middle of the trunk, between two of the bullet holes that had provided air for the Baudelaires on their way to Caligari Carnival. Like her coworker, Colette was also holding tight to someone's ankles — the ambidextrous ankles of Kevin, so that all three of Madame Lulu's former employees were in a sort of human chain. At the end of the chain were Kevin's hands, which were gripping a long, rusty knife. Kevin looked up at Violet and Klaus, gave them a triumphant grin, and brought the knife down as hard as he could on the knot Violet had tied.
The Devil's Tongue is a very strong knot, and normally it would take a while for a knife to saw through it, even if it was very sharp, but the equal strength in Kevin's two arms meant that the knife moved with a freakish power, instead of normally, and in an instant the knot was split in two.
With the caravan unhitched, the two vehicles began going in opposite directions. Count Olaf's car continued to wind its way up the mountain, but without anything pulling it, the caravan began to roll back down, the way a grapefruit will roll down a flight of stairs if you let it go, and there was no way for Violet or Klaus to steer or stop the caravan from the inside. The Baudelaires screamed again, all three of them, Violet and Klaus alone in the rattling caravan, and Sunny in the car full of villains, as the two vehicles slipped further and further away from each other, but even though Count Olaf was getting closer and closer to what he wanted and the older Baudelaires were getting further and further away, it seemed to the children that all three siblings were ending up at the same place. Even as Count Olaf's automobile slipped out of view, and the caravan began to slip on the bumpy road, it seemed to the Baudelaire orphans that they were all slipping into the belly of the beast, and that time, I'm sorry to say, counted very, very much.
About the Author
LEMONY SNICKET published his first book in 1999 and has not had a good night's sleep since. Once the recipient of several distinguished awards, he is now an escapee of several indistinguishable prisons. Early in his life, Mr. Snicket learned to reupholster furniture, a skill that turned out to be far more important than anyone imagined.
BRETT HELQUIST was born in Ganado, Arizona, and grew up in Orem, Utah. He studied hard to become an illustrator, but can't help wondering if he might have chosen to become something safer, like a pirate. Despite the risks, he continues to translate Lemony Snicket's odd findings into unusual pictures.
To My Kind Editor,
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......... entitled THE SLIPPERY SLOPE, in y.............. Instead, I am taking each of the thirteen chapters ............. in different places. 'The world is.......... She will give you a key, which w......... the firs chapter, as well as a rare photograph of a swarm of ...... to help Mr. Helquist with his illustrations. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU tr
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