Nightmare at 20,000 Feet

was just raising the curtain on another act when he heard the voice behind him.

“Professor?” it asked.

“Yes, Miss Eldridge.”

Eddy glanced across his shoulder as Miss Eldridge asked a question about Beowulf. He saw the plainness of her little girl’s face, heard her faltering voice, noticed the loose yellow sweater she was wearing. And, as he watched, the thought came suddenly to him.

Take her.

Eddy turned back quickly, his heartbeat jolting as if he’d spoken the words aloud. He repressed a grin. What a screwy idea that was. Take her? With no figure? With that kid’s face of hers?

That was when he realized it was her face which had given him the idea. The very childishness of it seemed to needle him perversely.

There was a noise behind him. Eddy glanced back. The girl had dropped her pen and was bending down to get it. Eddy felt a crawling tingle in his flesh as he saw the strain of her bust against the tautening sweater. Maybe she had a figure after all. That was more exciting yet. A child afraid to show her ripening body. The notion struck dark fire in Eddy’s mind.

EIdridge, Julie, read the year book. St. Louis, Arts Sciences. As he’d expected, she belonged to no sorority or organizations. He looked at her photograph and she seemed to spring alive in his imaginations-shy, withdrawn, existing in a shell of warped repressions. He had to have her.

Why? He asked himself the question endlessly but no logical answer ever came. Still, visions of her were never long out of his mind-the two of them locked in a cabin at the Hiway Motel, the wall heater crowding their lungs with oven air while they rioted in each other’s flesh; he and this degraded innocent.

The bell had rung and, as the students left the classroom, Julie dropped her books.

“Here, let me pick them up,” said Eddy.

“Oh.” She stood motionless while he collected them. From the corners of his eyes, he saw the ivory smoothness of her legs. He shuddered and stood with the books.

“Here,” he said.

“Thank you.” Her eyes lowered and the faintest of colour touched her cheeks. She wasn’t so bad-looking, Eddy thought. And she did have a figure. Not much of one but a figure.

“What is it we’re supposed to read for tomorrow?” he heard himself asking.

“The-’Wife of Bath’s Tale,’ isn’t it?” she asked.

“Oh, is that it?” Ask her for a date, he thought.

“Yes. I think so.”

He nodded. Ask her now, he thought.

“Well,” said Julie. She began to turn away.

Eddy smiled remotely at her and felt his stomach muscles trembling.

“Be seeing you,” he said.

We stood in the darkness staring at her window. Inside the room, the light went on as Julie came back from the bathroom. She wore a terry cloth robe and was carrying a towel, a washcloth, and a plastic soap box. Eddy watched her put the washcloth and soap box on her bureau and sit down on the bed.

He stood there rigidly, watching her with eyes that did not blink. What was he doing here? he thought. If anybody caught him, he’d be arrested. He had to leave.

Julie stood. She undid the sash at her waist and the bathrobe slipped to the floor. Eddy froze. He parted his lips, sucking at the damp air. She had the body of a woman-full-hipped with breasts that both jutted and hung. And with that pretty child’s face-Eddy felt hot breath forcing out between his lips. He muttered, “Julie, Julie, Julie—” Julie turned away to dress.

The idea was insane. He knew it but he couldn’t get away from it. No matter how he tried to think of something else, it kept returning.

He’d invite her to a drive-in movie, drug her Coke there, take her to the Hiway Motel. To guarantee his safety afterward, he’d take photographs of her and threaten to send them to her parents if she said anything.

The idea was insane. He knew it but he couldn’t fight it. He had to do it now-now when she was still a stranger to him; an unknown female with a child’s face and a woman’s body. That was what he wanted; not an individual.

No! It was insane! He cut his English class twice in succession. He drove home for the weekend. He saw a lot of movies. He read magazines and took long walks. He could beat this thing.

“Miss Eldridge?”

Julie stopped. As she turned to face him, the sun made ripples on her hair. She looked very pretty, Eddy thought.

“Can I walk with you?” he asked.

“All right,” she said.

They walked along the campus path.

“I was wondering,” said Eddy, “if you’d like to go to the drive-in movie Friday night.” He was startled at the calmness of his voice.

“Oh,” said Julie. She glanced at him shyly. “What’s playing?” she asked.

He told her.

“That sounds very nice,” she said.

Eddy swallowed. “Good,” he answered. “What time shall I pick you up?”

He wondered, later, if it made her curious that he didn’t ask her where she lived.

There was a light burning on the porch of the house she roomed in. Eddy pushed the bell and waited, watching two moths flutter around the light. After several moments, Julie opened the door. She looked almost beautiful, he thought. He’d never seen her dressed so well.

“Hello,” she said.

“Hi,” he answered. “Ready to go?”

“I’ll get my coat.” She went down the hall and into her room. In there, she’d stood naked that night, her body glowing in the light. Eddy pressed his teeth together. He’d be all right. She’d never tell anyone when she saw the photographs he was going to take.

Julie came back down the hallway and they went out to the car. Eddy opened the door for her.

“Thank you,” she murmured. As she sat down, Eddy caught a glimpse of stockinged knees before she pulled her skirt down. He slammed the door and walked around the car. His throat felt parched.

Ten minutes later, he nosed the car onto an empty ramp in the last row of the drive-in theatre and cut the engine. He reached outside and lifted the speaker off its pole and hooked it over the window. There was a cartoon playing.

“You want some popcorn and Coke?” he asked, feeling a sudden bolt of dread that she might say no.

“Yes. Thank you,” Julie said.

“I’ll be right back.” Eddy pushed out of the car and started for the snack bar. His legs were shaking.

He waited in the milling crowd of students, seeing only his thoughts. Again and again, he shut the cabin door and locked it, pulled the shades down, turned on all the lights, switched on the wall heater. Again and again, he walked over to where Julie lay stupefied and helpless on the bed.

“Yours?” said the attendant.

Eddy started. “Uh-two popcorns and a large and a small Coke,” he said.

He felt himself begin to shiver convulsively. He couldn’t do it. He might go to jail the rest of his life. He paid the man mechanically and moved off with the cardboard tray. The photographs, you idiot, he thought. They’re your protection. He felt angry desire shudder through his body. Nothing was going to stop him. On the way back to the car, he emptied the contents of the packet into the small Coke.

Julie was sitting quietly when he opened the door and slid back in. The feature had begun.

“Here’s your Coke,” he said. He handed her the small cup with her box of popcorn.