The glow was getting brighter. A sickly yellowish green. Pulsing slightly. Like a…A what? A beacon?
I peered into the darkening sky. The first stars had begun to come out. I didn’t see any drones.
If it was a good thing from their point of view, that meant it was probably a bad thing from mine.
Well, not probably. Leaning more toward definitely.
The interval between pulses shortened every few seconds. The pulse became a flash. The flash became a blink.
Pulse…Pulse…Pulse…
Flash, flash, flash.
Blinkblinkblink.
In the gloom, the globe reminded me of an eye, a pale greenish-yellow eyeball winking at me.
My memory has preserved what happened next as a series of snapshots, like freeze-frame stills from an art house movie, with those jerky, handheld camera angles.
SHOT 1: On my butt, doing a crab-crawl away from the compound.
SHOT 2: On my feet. Running. The foliage a blur of green and brown and mossy gray.
SHOT 3: Sammy’s bear. The chewed-up little arm gummed and gnawed since he was a baby slipping from my fingers.
SHOT 4: Me on my second attempt to pick up that damned bear.
SHOT 5: The ash pit in the foreground. I’m halfway between Crisco’s body and Branch’s. Clutching Sammy’s bear to my chest.
SHOTS 6–10: More woods, more me running. If you look closely, you can see the ravine in the left-hand corner of the tenth frame.
SHOT 11: The final frame. I’m suspended in midair above the shadow-filled ravine, taken right after I launched myself off the edge.
The green wave roared over my curled-up body at the bottom, carrying along tons of debris, a rocketing mass of trees, dirt, the bodies of birds and squirrels and woodchucks and insects, the contents of the ash pit, shards of the pulverized barracks and storehouse—plywood, concrete, nails, tin—and the first couple of inches of soil in a hundred-yard radius of the blast. I felt the shock wave before I hit the muddy bottom of the ravine. An intense, bone-rattling pressure over every inch of my body. My eardrums popped, and I remembered Crisco saying,
24
I CAN’T STOP thinking about the soldier behind the coolers and the crucifix in his hand. The soldier and the crucifix. I’m thinking maybe that’s why I pulled the trigger. Not because I thought the crucifix was another gun. I pulled the trigger because he was a soldier, or at least he was dressed like a soldier.
He wasn’t Branch or Vosch or any of the soldiers I saw that day my father died.
He wasn’t and he was.
Not any of them, and all of them.
Not my fault. That’s what I tell myself. It’s their fault.
Run = die. Stay = die. Sort of the theme of this party.
Beneath the Buick, I slipped into a warm and dreamy twilight. My makeshift tourniquet had stopped most of the bleeding, but the wound throbbed with each slowing beat of my heart.
And then I saw Sammy’s face pressed against the back window of the yellow school bus. He was smiling. He was happy. He felt safe surrounded by those other kids, and besides, the soldiers were there now, the soldiers would protect him and take care of him and make sure everything was okay.
It had been bugging me for weeks. Keeping me up at night. Hitting me when I least expected it, when I was reading or foraging or just lying in my little tent in the woods thinking about my life before the Others came.
What was the point?
Why did they play that giant charade of soldiers arriving in the nick of time to save us? The gas masks, the uniforms, the “briefing” in the barracks. What was the point to all that when they could have just dropped one of their blinky eyeballs from a drone and blown us all to hell?
On that cold autumn day while I lay bleeding to death beneath the Buick, the answer hit me. Hit me harder than the bullet that had just torn through my leg.
They wanted Sammy. No, not just Sammy. They wanted all the kids. And to get the kids, they had to make us trust them.
But why bother saving the children? Billions had died in the first three waves; it wasn’t like the Others had a soft spot for kids. Why did the Others take Sammy?
I raised my head without thinking and whacked it into the Buick’s undercarriage. I barely noticed.
I didn’t know if Sammy was alive. For all I knew, I was the last person on Earth. But I had made a promise.
The cool asphalt scraping against my back.
The warm sun on my cold cheek.
My numb fingers clawing at the door handle, using it to pull my sorry, self-pitying butt off the ground.
I can’t put any weight on my wounded leg. I lean against the car for a second, then push myself upright. On one leg, but upright.
I might be wrong about them wanting to keep Sammy alive. I’d been wrong about practically everything since the Arrival. I still could be the last human being on Earth.
I might be—no, I probably am—doomed.
But if I’m it, the last of my kind, the last page of human history, like hell I’m going to let the story end this way.
I may be the last one, but I am the one still standing. I am the one turning to face the faceless hunter in the woods on an abandoned highway. I am the one not running, not staying, but facing.
Because if I am the last one, then I am humanity.
And if this is humanity’s last war, then I am the battlefield.
II: WONDERLAND
25
CALL ME ZOMBIE.
Head, hands, feet, back, stomach, legs, arms, chest—everything hurts. Even blinking hurts. So I try not to move and I try not to think too much about the pain. I try not to think too much period. I’ve seen enough of the