staggered downstairs.
Elspeth was waiting in the lobby, the only part of the building where girls were allowed, except on specially designated Ladies' Afternoons. It was a spacious hall with a fireplace and comfortable chairs. She was as eye- catching as ever, in a wool dress the colour of bluebells and a big hat. Yesterday, the sight of her would have gladdened his heart; today, the knowledge that she had dressed up for him just made him feel even, more wretched.
She laughed when she saw him. You look like a small boy who can't wake up!'
He kissed her cheek and slumped into a chair. 'It took hours to get to Newport,' he said.-
'You've obviously forgotten you're supposed to take me to lunch!' Elspeth said brightly.
He looked at her. She was beautiful, but he did not love her. He did not know whether he had loved her before, but he was sure he did not now. He was the worst kind of heel. She was so gay this morning, and he was going to ruin her happiness. He did not know how to tell her, He felt so ashamed it was like a pain in his heart He had to say something. 'Can we skip lunch? I haven't even shaved.'
A troubled shadow crossed her pale, proud face, and he realized that she knew perfectly well something was wrong; but her reply was carefree. 'Of course,' she said. 'Knights in shining armour need their beauty sleep.'
He told himself he would have a serious talk with her, and be completely honest, later in the day. 'I'm sorry you got dressed up for nothing,' he said miserably.
'It wasn't for nothing - I saw you. And your fellow housemen seemed to like my outfit' She stood up. 'Anyway, Professor and Mrs. Durkham are having a jolly-up.' That was Radcliffe slang for a party.
Luke stood and helped her into her coat 'We could meet later.' He-had to tell her today - it would be deceitful to let any more time pass without revealing the truth.
'That'll be fine,' she said gaily. 'Pick me up at six.' She blew him a kiss and walked out like a movie star. He knew she was faking, but it was a good act He returned woefully to his room. Anthony was reading the Sunday paper. 'I made coffee,' he said.
'Thanks.' Luke poured a cup.
'I owe you big time,' Anthony went on. 'You saved Billie's hide last night'
'You'd do the same for me.' Luke sipped his coffee and began to feel better. 'Seems we got away with it Has anyone said anything to you this morning?'
'Not a thing.'
'Billie's quite a gal,' Luke said. He knew it was dangerous to talk about her, but he could not help it 'Isn't she great?' Anthony said. Luke observed with dismay at the look of pride on his room-mate's face. Anthony went on: 'I kept asking myself: 'Why shouldn't she go out with me?' But I didn't think she would. I don't know why, maybe because she's so neat and pretty. And when she said yes, I couldn't believe my ears. I wanted to ask for it in writing.'
Extravagant overstatement was Anthony's way of being amusing, and Luke forced a smile, but secretly he was appalled. To steal someone else's girlfriend was despicable in any circumstances, but the fact that Anthony was obviously crazy about Billie made everything even worse.
Luke groaned, and Anthony said: 'What's the matter?'
Luke decided to tell him half the truth. 'I'm not in love with Elspeth any more. I think I have to end it'
Anthony looked shocked. 'That's too bad. You two are quite an item.'
'I feel like a jerk.'
'Don't crucify yourself. It happens. You're not married- not even engaged.'
'Not officially.'
Anthony raised his eyebrows. 'Have you proposed?'
'No.'
'Then you're not engaged, officially or unofficially.'
'We've talked about how many children we'll have.'
'You're still not engaged.'
I guess you're right, but all the same I feel like a rotter.'
There was a tap at the door, and a man Luke had never seen before came in. 'Mr. Lucas and Mr. Carroll, I presume?' He wore a shabby suit, but had a haughty manner, and Luke guessed-he was a college proctor.
Anthony leaped to his feet. 'We are,' he said. 'And you must be Doctor Uterus, the famous gynecologist. Thank God you've come!'
Luke did not laugh. The man was carrying two white envelopes, and Luke had a pessimistic feeling he knew what they were.
I'm the clerk to the Dean of Students. He's asked me to hand you these notes in person.' The clerk gave them an envelope each and left 'Hell,' Anthony said as the door closed. He ripped open his envelope. 'God damn it.'
Luke opened his and read the short note inside.
Dear Mr. Lucas, Please be good enough to come and see me in my study at three o'clock this afternoon.
Yours sincerely, Peter Pyder Dean of Students Such letters always meant disciplinary trouble. Someone had reported to the Dean that there had been a girl in the House last night Anthony would probably be expelled.
Luke had never seen his room-mate afraid - his insouciance always seemed unshakeable - but now he was pale with shock. 'I can't go home,' he whispered. He had never said much about his parents, but Luke had a vague picture of a bullying father and a long-suffering mother. Now he guessed the reality might be worse than he had imagined. For a moment, Anthony's expression was a window into a private hell.
Then there was a knock at the door, and in came Geoff Pidgeon, the amiable, chubby occupant of the room opposite. 'Did I just see the Dean's clerk?'
Luke waved his letter. 'Too damn right'
'You know, I haven't said a word to anyone about seeing you with that girl.'
'But who did?' Anthony said. 'The only sneak in the House is Jenkins.' Paul Jenkins was a religious zealot whose mission in life was to reform the morals of Harvard men. 'But he's away for the weekend.'
'No, he's not,' Pidgeon said. 'He changed his plans.'
'Then it's him, damn his eyes,' Anthony said. 'I'm going to strangle the son of a bitch with my own hands.'
If Anthony were expelled, Luke realized suddenly, Billie would be free. He felt ashamed of such a selfish thought when his friend's life was about to be ruined. Then it struck him that Billie might be in trouble too. He said: 'I wonder if Elspeth and Billie have had letters.'
Anthony said: 'Why would they?'
'Jenkins probably knows the names of our girlfriends - he takes a prurient interest in such things.'
Pidgeon said: 'If he knows the names, we can be sure he reported them. That's what he's like.'
Luke said: 'Elspeth is safe. She wasn't here, and no one can prove she was. But Billie could be expelled. Then she'll lose her scholarship. She explained it to me last night She won't be able to study anywhere else.'
'I can't worry about Billie now,' Anthony said. 'I have to figure but what I'm going to do.'
Luke was shocked. Anthony had got Billie into trouble, and by Luke's code he should be more worried about her than about himself. But Luke saw a pretext to talk to Billie, and he could not resist it Suppressing a guilty feeling, he said: 'Why don't I go to the girls' dorm and see whether Billie's back from Newport yet?'
'Would you?' Anthony said. 'Thanks.'
Pidgeon went out Anthony sat on the bed, smoking gloomily, while Luke quickly shaved and changed his clothes. Although he was in a hurry, he dressed with care, in a soft blue shirt, new flannel pants, and his favourite grey tweed jacket.
It was two o'clock when he reached the Radcliffe dormitory quadrangle. The red-brick buildings were arranged around a small park where students strolled in pairs. This was where he had kissed Elspeth, he recalled unhappily, at midnight on a Saturday at the end of their first date. He detested men who switched loyalties as readily as they changed their shirts, yet here he was doing the thing he disdained - and he could not stop.
A uniformed maid let him into the lobby of the dorm. He asked for Billie. The maid sat at a desk, picked up a speaking-tube of the kind used on ships, blew into the mouthpiece, and said: 'Visitor for Miss Josephson.'
Billie came down wearing a dove-grey cashmere sweater and a plaid skirt She looked lovely but distraught, and Luke longed to take her in his arms and comfort her. She, too, had been summoned to the office of Peter Ryder,
