his hands and said 'It's not working. I can't do it.' She felt panic, and fought it down. She was frightened, not for herself-You've known enough stiff pricks in your time, girl, not to mention a few UmP ones,-but for him, for his reaction, in case he should be defeated or ashamed and- She put both arms around him and held him tightly, saying, 'Whatever you do, please don't go away.' I won't. She wanted to put the, light on, to see his face, but it seemed like the wrong thing to do right now. She pressed her cheek against his chest. 'Have you got a wife somewhere?' 'No.' She put Gut her tongue and tasted his skin. 'I just think you might feel guilty about something. Like, me being half an Arab?' 'I don't think so.' 'Or, me being Efla Ashford's daughter? You loved her, didn't you?' 'How did you know?' 'From the way you talked about her.' Oh. Well, I don't think I feel guilty about that, but I could be wrong, doctor.' 'Mmm.' He was coming out of his shell. She kissed his chest. 'Will you tell me sbraething?' 'I expect so.' 'When did you last have sex?' 'Nineteen forty-four.,' 'You're kidding!' she said, genuinely astonished. 'I'hat's the first witless thing you've said.' 'I ... you're right, I'm sorry.' She hesitated. 'But why?' He sighed. 'I can't ... I'm not able to talk about it.' 'But you must.' She reached out to the bedside lamp and tamed on the light. Dickstein closed his eyes against the glare. Suza propped herself up on one elbow. 'Listen,' she said, 'there are no rules. We're grown-ups, we're naked in bed, and this is nineteen sixty-eight: nothing is wrong, it's whatever turns you on.' 'There isn't anything.' His eyes were still closed. 'And there are no secrets. If you're frightened or disgusted or inflamed, you can say so, and you must I've never said 'I love you' before tonight, Nat Speak to me, please. There was a long silence. He lay stiff, impassive, eyes closed. At last he began to talk. 'I didn't know where I was-still don't I was taken there in a cattle truck, and in those days I coul(Wt tell one country from another by the landscape. It was a special camp, a me& ical research center. The prisoners were selected from other camps. We were all young, healthy and Jewish. 'Conditions were better than in the first camp I was at. We had food, blankets, cigarettes; there was no thieving, no fightIng. At fint I thought I had struck lucky. There were lots of tests--blood, urine, blow into this tube, catch this ball, read the letters on the card. It was like being in a hospital. Then the experiments began. 'To this day I don't know whether there was any real scientific curiosity behind itA mean, if somebody did those things with animals, I could see that it might be, you know, quite interesting, quite revealing. On the other hand, the dootors must have been insane. I don't know.' ' He stopped, and swallowed. It was becoming more difficult for him to speak calmly. Suza whispered, 'You must tell me what happened-everything.' He was pale, and his voice was very low. Still he kept his eyes shut. 'They took me to this laboratory. The guards who escorted me kept winking and nudging and telling me I was glikkIlch-lucky. It was a big room with a low ceiling and very bright lights. There were six or seven of them there, with a movie. camera. In the middle of the room was a low bed with a mattress on it, no sheets. There was a woman on the mattress. They told me to fuck her. She was naked, and shivering-she was a prisoner too. She whispered to me, 'You save my life and I'll save yours.' And then we did it. But that was only the beginning.' Suza ran her hand over his loins and found his penis taut. Now she understood. She stroked him, gently at first, and waited for him to go on-4or she knew that now he would tell all of the story. 'After that they did variations on the experiment. Every day for months, there was something. Drugs, sometimes. An old woman. A man, once. Intercourse in different posttions-standing up, sitting, everything. Oral sex, anal sex, masturbation, group sex. If you didn't perform, you were flogged or shot. Thafs why the story never came out after the war, do you see? Because all the survivors were guilty.' Suza stroked him harder. She was certain, without knowing why, that this was the right thing to do. 'Tell me. All of it.' He was breathing faster. His eyes opened and he stared up at the blank white ceiling, seeing another place and another time. 'At the end . . . the most shameful of all ... she was a nun. At first I thought they were lying to me, they had just dressed her up, but then she started praying, in French. She had no legs ... they had amputated her, just to observe the effect on me... it was horrible, and I... and I.. .' I Then he jerked, and Suza bent and closed her mouth over his penis, and he said, 'Oh, no, no, nol' in rhythm with his spasms, and then it was all over and he wept.
She kissed his tears, and told him it was all right over and over agaiii. Slowly he calmed down, and eventually he seemed to sleep for a few minutes. She lay there watching his face as the tension seeped away and he became peacefuL Then he opened his eyes and said, 'Ttrhy did you do that?' Well.- At that time she had not understood exactly why, but now she thought she did. 'I could have given you a lecture,' she said. 'I could have told you that there is nothing to be ashamed of; that everybody has grisly fantasies, that women dream of being flogged and men have visions of flogging them; that you can buy, here in London, pornographic books about sex with amputees, including full-color pictures. I could have told you that many men would have been able to summon up enough bestiality to perform in that Nazi labomtory. I could have argued with you, but it wouldn't have made any difference. I had to show you. Besides--' She smiled ruefully. 'Besides, I have a dark side, too.' He touched her cheek, then leaned forward and kissed her lips. 'Where did you get this wisdom child?' 'It isn't wisdom it's love.' Then he held her very tightly and kissed her and called her darling and after a while they made love, very simply, hardly speaking, without confessions or dark fantasies or bizarre lusts, giving and taking pleasure with the familiarity of an old couple who know each other very well; and afterward they went to sleep full of peace and joy.
David Rostov was bitterly disappointed with the Euratoin printout. After he and Pyotr Tyrin had spent hours getting it doped out, it became clear that the list of consignments was very long. They could riot possibly cover every target. The only way they could discover which one would be hit was to pick up Dickstein's trail again. Yasif Hassan's mission to Oxford thereupon assumed much greater importance. They waited for the Arab to call. After ten &clock Nik Bunin, who enjoyed sleep the way other people enjoy sunbathing, went to bed. Tyrin stuck it out until midnight, then he too retired. Rostov's phone finally rang at One A.M. He jumped as if frightened, grabbed the phone, then waited a few moments before speaking in order to compose himself. 'Yes?' Hassan's voice came three hundred miles along the international telephone cables. 'I did it The man was here. Two days ago.' Rostov clenched a fist in suppressed excitement. 'Jesus. What a piece of luck.' 'What now?' Rostov considered. 'Now, he knows that we know.' 'Yes. Shall I come back to base?' 'I don't think so. Did the professor say how long the man plans to be in England?' 'No. I asked the question directly. 'Me professor didn!t know: the man didn't tell him.' 'He wouldn't.' Rostov frowned, calculating. 'First thing the man has to do now is report that he's blown. That means he has to contact his London office.- 'Perhaps be already has.', 'Yes, but-he may want a meeting. This man takes precautions, and precautions take time. All right, leave it with me. I'll be in London later today. Where are you now?' 'I'm still in Oxford. I came straight here off the plane. I -can't get back to London until the morning.' 'All right. Check into the Hilton and I'll contact you there around lunchtime.' 'Check. A bient6t.' 'Wait.' 'Still here.'
'Don't do anything on your own initiative, now. Wait until I get there. You've done well, don't screw it up.' Hassan hung up. Rostov sat still for a moment, wondering whether Hassan was planning some piece of foolishness or simply resented being told to be a good boy. Ile latter, he decided. Anyway, there was no damage he could do over the next few hours. Rostov turned his mind back to Dickstein. The man would not give them a second chance to pick up his trail. Rostov had to move fast and he had to move now. He put on his jacket, left the hotel and took a taxi to the Russian Embassy. . He had to wait some time, and identify himself to four different people, before they would let him in in the middle of the night. The duty operator stood at attention when Rostov entered the communications room. Rostov said, 'Sit down. There's work to do. Get the London office first.' The operator picked up the scrambler phone and began to Fall the Russian Embassy in London. Rostov took off his jacket and rolled up his, sleeves. Ile operator said, 'Comrade Colonel David Rostov will speak to the most senior security officer there.' He motioned Rostov to pick up the extension. 'Colonel Petrov.' It was the voice of a middle-aged Soldier. 'Petrov, I need some help,' Rostov said without preamble. 'An Israeli agent named Nat Dickstein is believed to be in England.- 'Yes, we've had his picture sent to us In the diplomatic pouch-but we werenI notified he was thought to be hem' I'Llsten. I think he may contact his embassy. I want you to put all known Israell legals in Landon under surveillance from dawn today~' 'Hang on, Rostov,' said Petrov with a half laugh. 'That's a lot, of manpower.' 'Don!t be stapid. You've got hundreds of men, the Israelis only have a dozen or two.' 'Sorry, Rostov, I can't mount an operation like that on your say-so. Rostov wanted to get the man by the throat. 'This is ur. gentl' 'Let me have the proper documentation, and I'm at your disposal.'
'By then hell be somewhere elsel' 'Not my fault, comrade.' Rostov slammed the phone down, furious, and said, 'Bloody Russiansl Never do anything without six sets of authorization. Get Moscow, tell them to find Feliks, Vorontsov and patch him through to me wherever he is.' . The operator got busy. Rostov drummed his fingers on the desk impatiently. Petrov was probably an old soldier close to retirement, with no ambition for anything but his pension. There were too many men like that in the KGB. A few minutes later the sleepy voice of Rostov's boss, Feliks, came on the line. 'Yes, who is it?' 'David Rostov. I'm in Luxembourg. I need some backing. I think The Pirate is about to contact the Israeli Embassy in London and I want their legals watched.' 'So call London.' 'I did. They want authorization.' '~Ihen apply for it.' 'For God's sake, Feliks, I'm applying for it now!' 'IMeWs nothing I
