Royal Flash

'Genius,' says Kraftstein, jerking his head like a doll.

'Only one thing was a matter of chance-your presence in England. It was the prerequisite, and by good fortune it was there. The rest—organisation.' Bismarck took a breath and straightened up. 'And as we have begun, so we will proceed.'

Well, I saw one thing: he was mad; they all were. And, by God, if they thought they were dragging me into their lunacy, they had got the wrong man.

'I won't touch it,' says I, 'and that's flat. D'you think I'm as big a fool as you are? Good God, man, the thing's impossible; I wouldn't last five minutes as … a substitute for this poxed-up Danish fellow. And what then, eh?'

Bismarck considered me a moment. Then:

'Fill his glass, Kraftstein.' He walked back to his seat, and stretched his legs.

'It is, perhaps, unreasonable to expect you to accept the scheme without being convinced of its soundness. Tell me, why do you suppose it might fail?'

There were about seven hundred answers to that, and I burst out with the first one that came to mind.

'I couldn't get away with it! How could I pretend to be a Danish prince?'

'Take my word for it that you could. The likeness, believe me, is astounding. No one would suspect the imposture for a moment.'

'But I don't speak Danish, dammit!'

'But you have a gift for languages, remember? In the few weeks available, you can be given a smattering. No more than that will be necessary, for His Highness speaks German indifferently well, as you will before you take his place. You have a tolerable fluency as it is.'

'But … but … well, how the devil do you propose that I should take his place? Go to Denmark, I suppose, and present suitable references! Balderdash!'

'You need not go to Denmark. I have been in constant communication with Prince Carl Gustaf. Naturally, he does not know of our plan, but he does have great faith in me. One of the ministers I mentioned is in my employ. Through him, all has been arranged. The Prince will set out from Denmark when the time comes with his retinue; he has been led to believe that I have found a way out of his difficulties. He is rather a simple fellow, although amiable, and supposes that I can arrange matters. In that belief he will come to Holstein, en route to Strackenz, and in Holstein the substitution will take place. The mechanics you may leave to me.'

It was like listening to some grotesque fairy-tale. The cool, precise way in which he told it was staggering.

'But … but this retinue—his people, I mean… .'

'The minister who is my agent will accompany the Prince. His name is Detchard. With him at your side, you need have no fears. And no one will suspect you: why should they?'

'Because I'll give myself away in a hundred things, man! My voice, my actions—God knows what!'

'That is not so,' said Bismarck. 'I tell you, I know the Prince, his voice, his mannerisms—all of it. And I tell you that if you shave your head and upper lip, your own mothers would not know you apart.'

'It's true,' says Rudi, from the fireplace. 'You aren't just alike: you're the same man. If you learn a few of his habits—gestures, that sort of thing—it can't fail.'

'But I'm not an actor! How can I—'

'You wandered in Afghanistan disguised as a native, did you not?' says Bismarck. 'I know as much about you as you do yourself, you see. If you can do that, you can easily do this.' He leaned forward again. 'All this has been thought of. If you were not a man of action, of proved resource and courage, of geist und geschichlichkeit, wit and aptitude, I would not have entertained this scheme for a moment. It is because you have all these things, and have proved them, that you are here now.'

Well, that was all he knew. God help him, he believed the newspapers, and my huge, overblown reputation—he thought I was the daredevil Flash Harry of popular report, the Hero of Jallalabad, and all that tommy-rot. And there was no hope that I could persuade him otherwise.

'But my God!' says I, appalled. 'What you are proposing is that I should go to Strackenz and marry this damned woman! I mean—I'm married already!'

'You are a Protestant. This will be a Roman ceremony. It will be in no way binding on you, morally or in fact.'

'Who cares about that? What I mean is—I'd have to live with her, as King of Strackenz, or whatever it is. How could I? What about the real Prince Carl?'

'He will be kept close under lock and key, in a convenient place in Mecklenburg. He will there recover from his illness. And in due course I will explain matters to him—the full truth. I will point out to him that he has no choice but to continue with the remainder of my plan.'

'And what's that, in God's name?'

'When he has recovered—in perhaps a month or two after your marriage—you will go hunting from a certain lodge. You will become separated from your companions. They will find you, eventually, or rather they will find the real Prince. He will have fallen from his horse, and taken a slight graze on the head. It will necessitate some day's rest and recovely. Thereafter he will return to Strackenz City and his bride. If she notices any difference in him, it will be attributed to the effect of his head wound. But it will hardly cause her to suspect that he is not the man she married. I expect that they will live and rule long and happily together.'

'And what the hell happens to me?'

'You, my dear sir, will by then be far over the frontiers of Germany—with ten thousand pounds sterling in your pocket.' Bismarck permitted himself a smile, 'We do not ask you to work for nothing, you see. Your silence will be assured—for if you decided to tell your incredible tale, who would believe it? But why should you? You will have come out of the affair most profitably.'

Aye, profitably for you, thinks I, with a bullet in the back of my head or a knife between my ribs. It was as clear as day that at the end of the affair I'd be a heap safer dead than alive, from their point of view. I looked from Bismarck to the cheerfully smiling Rudi, who had perched himself on the table edge; to Kraftstein, frowning at me from his massive height; to de Gautet, with his snake's eyes—I even glanced round at Bersonin, glowering in silence by the door. By gum, I've seen some pretty sets of villains in my time, but I believe that if I were ever asked to recruit a band of cut-throats for some nefarious enterprise, Bismarck's beauties would head my list.

'I see what is in your mind,' says Bismarck. He rose, taking out his cigar case, and presented me with a weed, which he lit for me from a candle. 'You do not trust me. You believe that afterwards I should have you destroyed, nicht wahr? That I would break my promise.'

'Oh, well,' says I, 'the thought hadn't occurred, but now that you mention it… .'

'My dear Mr Flashman,' says he, 'credit me with some intelligence. I have only to put myself in your shoes —as I'm sure you have just been putting yourself in mine. I should be highly suspicious, if I were you. I should require to be convinced that all was—above board, is it not?'

I said nothing, and he took a turn round the table.

'Ask yourself,' says he, 'what I have to gain by playing you false. Security? Hardly so, since you will be in no case, living, to do harm to us. As I've said, no one would believe your story, which indeed would incriminate you if you were foolish enough to tell it. What else? Killing you would present … problems. You are not a child, and disposing of you might well cause some unforeseen complication in my plans.'

'We're honest with you, you see,' says Rudi, and Kraftstein nodded vigorously. De Gautet tried to smile reassuringly, like a contrite wolf.

'And ten thousand pounds, you may believe me, is neither here nor there,' went on Bismarck. 'It is a cheap price to pay for laying the foundation of the new Germany—and that is what is at stake here. You may think we are day-dreaming, that we are foolish visionaries—you may even think us villains. I do not care. It does not matter. It is a great thing that we are going to do, and you are only a tiny pawn in it—but, like all tiny pawns, vital. I need you, and I am willing to pay for what I need.' He drew himself up, virile, commanding, and full of mastery. 'You seek guarantees of my good faith. I have tried to show you that it is in my interest, and Germany's, to keep faith. To this I add my word as a junker, a soldier, and a gentleman: I swear on my honour that what I have promised I shall fulfil, and that when you have concluded your part in this scheme you shall have safe-conduct out of Germany, with your reward, and that no harm shall come to you.'

He swung about on his heel and went back to his chair; the others sat dead still. And then, after just the