have played enough.'
The ladies protested against this, and then Bryant cut in again:
'I've played quite enough, thank'ee, and I daresay my partner has, too.' Mrs Locke looked startled, and Bryant went on:
'I never thought to see — ah, but let it go!'
And he turned from the table, like a man trying to control himself.
There was a second's silence, and then they were babbling, 'What did he say?' 'What did he mean?' and Bentinck was flushed with anger and demanding to know what Bryant was implying. At this Bryant pointed to me, and says:
'It is really too bad! In a pleasant game, for the ladies, this fellow … I beg your pardon, Lord George, but it is too much! Ask him,' cries he, 'to turn out his pockets — his coat pockets!'
It hit me like a dash of icy water. In the shocked hush, I found my hand going to my left-hand coat pocket, while everyone gaped at me, Bentinck took a pace towards me saying, 'No, stop. Not before the ladies …' and then my hand came out, and there were three playing cards in it. I was too horrified and bewildered to speaks there was a shriek from one of the females, and a general gasp, and someone muttered: 'Cheat… oh!' I could only stare from the cards to Bentinck's horrified face, to Bryant's, flushed and exultant, and to Dizzy's, white with disbelief. Miss Fanny jumped up with a shriek, starting away from me, and then someone was shepherding the females from the room in a terrible silence, leaving me with the stern, disgusted faces and the exclamations of incredulity and amazement. They crowded forward while I stood there, gazing at the cards in my hand — I can see them yet: the king of clubs, the deuce of hearts, and the ace of diamonds.
Bentinck was speaking, and I forced myself to look round at him, with Bryant, D'Israeli, old Morrison, Locke and the others crowding at his back.
'Gentlemen,' my voice was hoarse. 'I … I can't imagine. I swear to God …'
'I thought I hadn't seen the ace of diamonds,' says someone.
'I saw his hand go to his pocket, at the last deal.' This was Bryant.
'Oh, my Goad, the shame o't … Ye wicked, deceitful …'
'The fellow's a damned sharp!'
'A cheat! In this house …'
'Remarkable,' says D'Israeli, with an odd note in his voice. 'For a few pence? You know, George, it's d––d unlikely.'
'The amount never matters,' says Bentinck, with a voice like steel. 'It's winning. Now, sir, what have you to say?'
I was gathering my wits before this monstrous thing, trying to understand it. God knew I hadn't cheated — when I cheat, it's for something that matters, not sweets and ha'pence. And suddenly it hit me like a lightning flash — Bryant coming round to touch Aunt Selina's hand, standing shoulder to shoulder with me. So this was how he was taking his revenge!
Put me in that situation today, and I'd reason my way out of it, talking calmly. But I was twenty-six then, and panicked — d—n it, if I
'It's a b––y lie!' I shouted. 'I didn't cheat, I swear it! My God, why should I? Lord George, can you believe it? Mr D'Israeli, I appeal to you! Would I cheat for a few coppers?'
'How came the cards in your pocket, then?' demands Bentinck. 'That little viper!' I shouted, pointing at Bryant. 'The jealous little b––-d placed them there, to disgrace me!'
That set up a tremendous uproar, and Bryant, blast his eyes, played it like a master. He took a step back, gritted his teeth, bowed to the company, and says:
'Lord George, I leave it to you to determine the worth of a foul slander from a proven cheat.'
And then he turned, and strode from the room. I could only stand raging, and then as I saw how he had foxed me — my God, ruined me, and before the best in the land, I lost control altogether. I sprang for the door, bawling after him, someone caught my sleeve, but I threw him off, and then I had the door open and was plunging through in pursuit.
There was a hubbub behind me, and a sudden squeal of alarm ahead, for there were ladies at the head of the stairs, their white faces turned towards me. Bryant made off at the sight of me, and in blind passion I hurled myself after him. I had only one thought: to catch the undersized little squirt and pound him to death — sense, decency and the rest were forgotten. I got my hand on his collar at the top of the stairs, while the females screamed and shrank back; I wrenched him round, his face grey with fear, and shook him like a rat.
'You foul vermin!' I roared. 'Try to dishonour me, would you, you scum of … of the Eighth Hussars!' And as I swung him left-handed before me, I drew back my right fist and with all my strength, smashed it into his face.
Nowadays, when I'm day-dreaming over the better moments of my misspent life — galloping Lola Montez and Elspeth and Queen Ranavalona and little Renee the Creole and the fat dancing-wench I bought in India whose name escapes me, and having old Colin Campbell pinning the V.C. to my unworthy breast, and receiving my knighthood from Queen Victoria (and she in tears, maudlin little woman), and breaking into the Ranee's treasure-cellar and seeing all that splendid loot laid out for the taking — when I think back on these fine things, the recollection of hitting Tommy Bryant invariably comes back to me. God knows it was a nightmare at the time, but in retrospect I can't think of inflicting a hurt that I enjoyed more. My fist caught him full on the mouth and nose so hard that his collar was jerked clean out of my hand, and be went hurtling head foremost down that staircase like an arrow, bouncing once before crashing to rest in the hall, his limbs all a-sprawl.
There were shrieks of hysterical females in my ears, and hands seizing my coat, and men scampering down to lift him up, but all I remember is seeing Fanny's face turned towards me in terror, and Bentinck's voice drifting up the staircase:
'My God, I believe he's killed him!'
2
As it turned out, Bentinck was wrong, thank God; the little louse didn't die, but it was a near-run thing. Apart from a broken nose, his skull was fractured in the fall, and for a couple of days he hung on the edge, with a Bristol horse-leech working like fury to save him from going over. Once he regained consciousness, and had the impertinence to say, 'Tell Flashman I forgive him with all my heart,' which cheered me up, because it indicated he was going to live, and wanted to appear a forgiving Christian; if he'd thought he was dying he'd have d––d me to hell and beyond.
But after that he lost consciousness again, and I went through the tortures of the pit. They had confined me to my room — Locke was a justice of the peace-and kept me there with the muff Duberly sitting outside the door like a blasted water-bailiff. I was in a fearful sweat, for if Bryant kicked the bucket it would be a hanging matter, no error, and at the thought of it I could only lie on my bed and quake. I'd seen men swing, and thought it excellent fun, but the thought of the rope rasping on my neck, and the blind being pulled over my brows, and the fearful plunge and sickening snap and blackness — my God, it had me vomiting in the corner. Well, I've had the noose under my chin since then, and waited blubbering for them to launch me off, and even the real thing seems no worse, looking back, than those few days of waiting in that bedroom, with the yellow primroses on the wallpaper, and the blue and red carpet on the floor with little green tigers woven into it, and the print of Harlaxton Manor, near Grantham, Lincolnshire, the seat of one John Longden, Esq., which hung above the bed — I can still recite the whole caption.
With the thought of the gallows driving everything else from my mind, it was small consolation to learn from Duberly — who seemed to be in a mortal funk himself over the whole business — that there was by no means complete agreement that I had been caught cheating. D'Israeli — he was clever, I'll say that for him — bad sensibly pointed out that a detected cheat wouldn't have hauled the evidence out of his pocket publicly as soon as he was challenged. He maintained I would have protested, and refused to be searched — he was quite right, of course, but most of the other pious hypocrites disagreed with him, and the general feeling was that I was a fraud and a dangerous maniac who would be well served if I finished up in the prison lime-pit. Whatever happened, it was a hideous scandal; the house had emptied as if by magic next day, Mrs Locke was in a decline, and her husband was